When you open a fortune cookie, you’re looking for some kind of wisdom, right? Or, at the very least, something you can laugh about when you follow it up with the requisite “in bed.” And when you don’t get what you’re expecting it can be a little jarring – I know this, because a few weeks ago I got one that said “wow, it feels good to be out of that cookie,” and I was all like nope I don’t like it.
But these 10 cookies? It’s not that they’re missing advice, it’s just that the messages inside definitely aren’t going to make anyone’s life better. In bed or out.
#10. They couldn’t just leave well enough alone.
#9. Seriously, is there no quality control at the fortune cookie factory?
#7. Well, I’m screwed.
#6. This fortune writer is just plum out of inspiration for the day.
#5. Well that’s rude. Or insightful. Or both.
#4. Do you think the fortune cookie guy thinks he made this up?
#3. This is seriously poor advice.
#2. When it seems like your fortune can, you know. Actually tell fortunes.
#1. Okay I actually like this one, because smartass is my first language.
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