We got stuck in the ‘which side do you put your head to’ dance for a good while while our mates awkwardly watched us. I then had to pretend his runny nose didn’t touch my face… We were 13.
We were in the library. He leaned in and went for it and I literally ducked and pretended I was looking at a book behind him. He tried again and I ducked yet again. Finally, he succeeded the third time and it wasn’t great. Don’t get me wrong he’s a wonderful guy (still one of my best friends) but that kiss was just so clammy and unfeeling… Kinda felt mis-sold from all those books I’d read!
Oh god he kept his eyes open and had chronic postnasal drip. i can still hear the labored breathing through his nose. it haunts me at night.
11. Thanks, Dad
Couldn’t have been worse, as I leaned in, her dad who happened to be picking her up, honked his horn. So she half turned to look, which resulted in a “half lip kiss”.
12. Wolf Teeth
It was 7th grade and I was dating a girl who thought she had a “spirit animal” (wolf). She’d always pretend to whimper (like a hurt wolf) and say her “mouth hurt” (though I assumed she meant because of her braces). So one day after school I eventually kissed her and her lips we like sandpaper. She then promptly bit into a soccer ball to show me how strong her “wolf teeth” were. I broke up with her 3 hours later… I’ll never forget that day, no matter how I try.
13. Disgusting, Part 2
It was awesome for a minute. Then I realized how bad her breath was. I wanted to keep going, but part of me wanted to pull back and vomit. I still remember the taste. If I could change it, I would have given her half of the gum piece I had just put in.
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