18%. That’s the bottom-line tipping rate in the United States.

More for really good service.

If you can’t tip, you can’t eat out.

Let that be your mantra.

Here are 16 reasons why, as recalled by servers on AskReddit:

#1. The Breast-Man

I worked at an all night diner for a year. I have a story for every night I was there, but one really stands out in my memory.

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There was an old guy who came several times a week. He was very quiet, and always sat in my section.

One night, he confessed that he came in just to see me.

That same night, he also went into detail about his job before he retired. He was head of a breast milk research facility, (they have those?!), and swore that he could guess the size of any woman’s fun-bags based on his previous experience.

He guessed my size perfectly. He went on to explain the uses of breast milk in healthy adult life, including his habit of drinking donated colostrum to prevent illness.

He asked if I was currently lactating.

Photo Credit: Marc Levin/Flickr

#2. “Shhhhhh….”

Not me, but a friend of mine who was a waiter at the time had a guy shush him, (including putting a finger to his lips), while he was trying to rattle off the day’s specials to him and his party because they were too rude to stop bullshitting with each other.

Not cool.

#3. The Shutter-Bug

I work at a buffet. One night we had this middle-aged guy come in.

I thought nothing of it and, you know, went on with my business as usual. That is, until he pulled out his phone and started snapping pictures of the waitresses, me included.

After he was politely asked to stop and didn’t, our manager kicked him out.

Fast forward a few hours to closing time, look out the window and guess who’s standing there?

That’s right, the same guy. We called security, and they showed up. To get to my ride I had to walk right by the security van and him.

As I was passing, he waved and creepily said, “See you later alligator.”

That phrase is still stuck in my head.

#4. Not so Good, if you ask me.

I got dined and dashed by a priest on Good Friday.

#5. The Bennigan’s Brawl

I was a host at Bennigan’s.

Two couples sit in the smoking section. All seems to be going well: the men are on the inside of the table, women on the outside.

Their appetizers come out, and the women start laughing loudly about something.

Not sure what was said, but next thing I know, one of them men stands up in the booth, screams “BITCH!” at the top of his lungs, and backhands her to the floor. The booths in this area are elevated, so she fell hard,  at least 5 feet.

She’s crying and cowering, the servers and managers are starting to notice something is wrong, and I’m aghast, having seen the whole exchange.

The man then grabs his woman by the hair and drags her out, kicking and screaming, the other couple following sheepishly.

Myself, another host, a couple servers, and a manager follow them out to try and keep them from leaving – not only did he just assault a woman in our store, but they’re also skipping their check.

All four people pile into the same SUV, peel out of the parking lot, almost run over a server, and disappear into the night.

We of course called the police, but no result.

 

#6. “What do I do with it now?”

When I worked at Starbucks, someone pooped on the floor right next to the pastry case…

A perfect turd, (Seriously- I thought it was a fake/joke turd from Spencer’s or something.)

A coworker of mine then put gloves on and picked it up in his hand and said, “What do I do with it now?”

Photo Credit: GagGifts.com

#7. The List

I’ve had drinks thrown on me, been called a stupid bitch (for charging someone for two shots… when they ordered a double… had to clean up baby puke and dirty diapers, been stiffed on $200+ tabs, and deal with rude and cheap customers daily.

I love my job…

#8. Well played…

I used to tend bar at Caesar’s Tahoe. I had this deadbeat come up and order a snifter of our best cognac and pay for it with a keno drink comp ticket. (One of the few comp tickets that would cover a drink of any price.)

He leaves the bar after about ten minutes leaving his snifter with less than a quarter inch of cognac left. No napkin over the glass. (No tip either, but you saw that coming, right?)

After the better part of an hour the drink gets tossed.

Re-enter our hero shortly thereafter who loudly proclaims: “You threw out my drink!” With feigned apologies and perfectly concealed disgust I pour him a second cognac.

It is shortly consumed and he leaves.

–[fade to black, fade to next week]–

Our hero returns and orders a snifter of cognac, consumes all but the last few milliliters, and leaves the bar. I place a napkin over the snifter.

An hour has gone by and it’s starting to get busy. All the seats at the bar are taken except for the one behind that almost-empty snifter. My barback sees that someone would like to have this seat, picks up the snifter and asks me if he should toss the drink.

I say “No”, take the snifter from him and place it behind the bar.

In less than ten minutes our hero returns. It’s busy, the bar is full, I see him standing there, and I make sure everyone seated is happy before he gets any attention.

“You threw out my drink!” he again declares.

With magician-like dexterity, the sad little snifter is materialized and slid between two seated patrons on the edge of the bar before him.

“No, I didn’t.”

His look was priceless. I did my best to hide the triumphant gloat.