#11. The Monte Cristo

“Family of 6 plus grandma and grampa. They had clearly scoured the city for every coupon they could find.

Right away, the mother tells the kids they can’t have soda unless grandma and grampa pay for it. Super classy.

Everything is going well, and I have gotten at least 3 other large tables since bringing their entrees out. When I check back, the mom bitchily asks why her son didn’t get any powdered sugar with his Monte Cristo. I reply that we don’t serve it with powdered sugar, just strawberry cream cheese.

Lady flips out and says that it isn’t a Monte without powdered sugar. I reply that I don’t think we even have powdered sugar in house, but I would be happy to double check.

Her response: ‘Well, powdered sugar is just ground sugar, so you can just make some.’

I stood there flabbergasted for a good 30 seconds before her husband finally piped up and said, ‘You can’t really be serious, he’s not going to go grind sugar for you.'”


#12. What an Asshole

“A customer continuously asked me for my phone number.

After refusing multiple times, he then told me ‘You’re not hot anyway.'”

#13. “16 kids, all over 21…”

“A friend worked at a fancy pizza shop and brewery in west Philly.

I was there one night while he was working, table of 16 kids, all over 21, racks up a tab of $175.

He’s the only server on their table, gets the food out on time and is a really nice guy.

Kids leave cash on the table along with a ton of trash and a total mess. Ketchup in their drinks and everything.

They only tipped $1.50.”

#14. Holy crap…

“A party of 4 came in last night. They were super needy for the entire 2 hours they sat there. The wait for desserts and drinks was pretty bad: we had a new bartender and a new dessert cook.

My guests weren’t too rude about it or anything, but they seemed strange.

At the end of the meal, one of them stopped me to tell me he was a pastor. He said that they didn’t have much money because of the government shutdown.

He said that servers were the only people making money during it, and that we’re all rich because we lie about how much we make so we don’t pay taxes.

His bill was $157.

He wrote a big “0” in the tip line.”