Knowledge is power, right?
Sure, but knowledge can also be creepy, disturbing, depressing, damning, annoying, disgusting, scary, and even downright repulsive.
In that spirit, here are 17 facts that you probably reaaaally didn’t want to know. Enjoy!
#17. No word yet on swingers’ clubs.
Admit it, arachnid love gets your juices flowing.
#16. Maybe it’s just a better idea to remain celibate.
#15. But did we win?
At least the Civil War isn’t included. That’s a positive, right?
#14. That’s not where they need to be.
#13. Can you gag me now?
So don’t fret next time you accidentally drop your phone in the bowl.
#12. Mmmmm… beef fat…
That’s why kids are always eating them…and Play-Doh.
#11. Reduce, reuse, regurgitate.
Moo shu sewage, anyone?!
Perfectly normal behavior for a 33-year-old man.
#9. All of your favorite films IRL.
I think we’re pretty much on track with the “bad global governance” portion.
#8. But, what’s the cafeteria situation?
#7. But by all means, keep paying money for dogs with inbred genetic disorders.
No comment needed. Just plain depressing.
#6. The best part of waking up is doo-doo in your cup.
I’ll have the iced americano with cream and feces.
#5. So, you’re saying there’s a chance…
#4. Because science is becoming philosophy.
I believe the children are our future, teach them well, and let them lead the way.
#3. Don’t call it a comeback! They’ve been here for years.
Frankenvirus is real.
#2. They’re just for show. And the show isn’t great.
Might be a good idea to just start preparing meals in a stall at the local truck stop.
#1. Nope dance.
I’m sure there’s some American equivalent that would repulse other cultures just as much as this is affecting me, but I can’t really think of what it would be right now.