Divorces are never pleasant, but there are some people out there who just take things to another level. We took to AskReddit to find some of the most grueling divorce stories as told by those who witnessed them firsthand.
1. I Mean, Spit IS Gross…
“I worked for a judge. 2 prominent local news people had a divorce. They filed mutual restraining orders against each other for “violence.” The filings were vague on details, but still somehow conveyed a sense of Shiloh or Antietam levels of blood.
When it came time for the hearing, it turned out the “violence” was spitting. More specifically, during a heated argument, flecks of spittle managed to touch the other party.
Judge denied the restraining orders, and both parties’ attorneys probably bought new yachts.
Such is justice.”
2. RED FLAG
“Here’s a story of a potential thwarted divorce case, told to me by our closing attorney.
Man and his fiancée are buying a house together. They get to the paper where you sign off on all your aliases. The woman has a full page of former names. The guy asks, “what is this?”
The woman nonchalantly says, “Oh, I’ve been married five times before.” The guy gets up and walks out. Needless to say they did not buy the house or stay together.”
3. Just Ask
“I’m a child who dealt with parents getting divorced. When I was 7, I was forced to go to therapists to play ‘games’ with them (my mother was trying to get custody and insisted on it). It was a board game. It seemed innocent enough. I roll the dice, and the therapist picks up a card from his deck, and asks me a question. When he rolled, I picked a card and asked him a question.
My questions were simple for a 7-year-old. ‘What’s your favorite color’ and whatnot.
His questions were smart/tricky. ‘How do you feel when mommy does this.’ and ‘What do you think of daddy when this happens.’
So I sat there for an hour, 7-years-old, playing this game. At the end, we left the room and met with my parents and he said I would do better living with my mother. I specifically remember looking at the man and saying ‘but I don’t want to just live with mom. I want to live with dad too. Like I’m doing now.’ (1 week at mom’s, 1 week at dad’s).
I’ll never forget the way that the therapist basically ignored me, and said that ‘the game/discussions showed that I’m happier with my mom.’ The look on my fathers face was heartbreaking and he started to tear up.
I remember as we were walking out of the place my parents stopped in the parking lot to discuss things, and I stood there waiting for them to finish arguing. I remember getting so frustrated because they were talking about me, in front of me. I stopped them and said:
‘Why didn’t you just ASK me what I wanted?’ My mother looked quite stunned, and my dad seemed so relieved. I wound up doing 1 week at mom’s and 1 week at dad’s until I was 17 and went into college. Mondays I got on the bus at one house, and off the bus at the other.
Parents, don’t be dicks. Just ask your kid. We might actually have something to say.”
4. Not In The Job Description
“My father was a divorce attorney and he was once called at his office by the husband of the woman he was representing. The husband said “You have ruined my life and I’m going to ruin yours, you better watch your little ones tonight.” My Dad stayed up most of the night with a baseball bat. Don’t think he even called the police.”
5. Can You Say Petty?
“One guy wanted a provision in his divorce that said his sons couldn’t watch NASCAR because the wife’s new boyfriend was into NASCAR.
In the same case, the property division was so contentious that the judge had the parties list every piece of furniture in the house and try to work through who would get what. The guy made sure that he wanted everything she did, down to things like lace doilies her grandma made and some trophy she won in a women’s shooting competition (“I bought her the gun so its pretty much my trophy”).”