I have done some weird jobs before, and I’ve definitely dealt with weird people while doing those jobs, but there’s pretty much nothing that can compare with the graveyard shift at a convenience store for mind-numbing tedium, punctuated by moments of pure pants-shitting terror (and sometimes just pants-shitting).

Or at least thats how these 18 AskReddit users make it seem in recounting the tales of their craziest ever night shifts:

1. Drunk crime is not successful…

“I was working the graveyard shift at 7-11. I closed up beer sales at 2 am (state law) and locked the doors. A drunk guy comes in around 2:15 and gets mad about not being able to buy more alcohol so I kick him out.

He comes back about an hour later, parks his car near the edge of the lot but doesn’t come inside. I see him get out of his car and suddenly the whole store went dark. I called 911, waited, they found him knocked out behind the store and a camping hatchet (non-insulated metal kind) buried in the severed power conduit. The owner had to shut the store down for a full day to have it repaired.”

2.  Emergency Button

“Found out during a robbery that the emergency button under the counter actually just LOCKS YOU IN THE STORE WITH A NOW PANICKING ARMED ROBBER. My boss later told him it was to ‘prevent people from getting away.’ I mean, it did also put in a call to the alarm company, who eventually called the police, but for a good 25 minutes I really thought I was going to die there.”

3. People are weird… 

“I once saw a man come in, stare at me for a few minutes walk into the soda aisle, and slowly pour a 2 liter bottle of sprite down his pants. Then he left.”

4. Intoxication

“I had a guy overdose on heroin in the bathroom of the gas station I worked at once but that was at like noon so I guess it doesn’t count.

On New Year’s 2012 a guy came into the store I was working at super drunk while I was cleaning and I assumed he didn’t buy anything and left until about an hour later I found him asleep in the candy aisle.”

5. Undressing

“Had a drunk guy come in fully clothed. Walked around for a minute. Stood in place for minute then head to the bathroom. When he came out he was wearing nothing but his t-shirt. Left the store hanging dong into 3 degree weather. Never saw him again.”