Working in an emergency room has to be one of the craziest jobs out there. People do insane things, accidents happen, etc. AskReddit recently asked folks about the scariest/dumbest/weirdest things they’ve ever seen in an ER. Hold on to your butts kids, things are about to get interesting.

1. Allergies Are A Bitch

“Had a lady come in for shortness of breath. Began to place an oxygen mask on her. She yells “I’m allergic to oxygen!” and pulls the mask off. I heard the doctor laugh behind the curtain.”

2. Love Board

“My friend worked in ER. She had an obese man come in complaining of a rash under his gut. Upon close examination they found several splinters. When asked, the man casually replied “Oh, that must be from the love board.” So the crew had to ask for details. Apparently, the couple had to use a board to pry the man’s gut up to get to his penis for love making activities.”

3. Nice One, Zippy

“I have a male cousin who landed himself in the ER because he thought that instead of a condom, he could put something tightly around his male appendage, and it would force the sperm to stay inside. Unfortunately, getting it off posed a problem and he ultimately wound up in the ER with a zip tie around his male appendage.

His nickname has been ‘Zippy’ for 5 years now.”

4. You Just Never Know

“One case that really freaked me out was a guy that came in that was around my age (mid 20s) and he was having severe pain in his shoulder, but claimed he didn’t injure it. He gets taken back, gets x-rays done, and finds out his body is absolutely riddled with cancer. He was given one year to live. The family’s reaction to the news was so heartbreaking to witness and something I will never forget.”

5. Why Sex Ed Is SO Important

“Chick came in because she was miscarrying. Claims gravida (pregnancies) 27, para (live births) 0. Says that in the last two years since she got on birth control to help regulate her periods, she’s had a miscarriage every month. We had to explain to her that she was experiencing regular periods.”

6. NOPE

“My aunt is a nurse, this is her story:

Two extremely drunk men came in.

One of them fell down the stairs and somehow he got glass in his eye.

They had pulled out the glass and sealed the gash in his eye.

With superglue.

They had to soak his eye in acetone to get it open.”

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

7. Two Birds, One Stone

“Morbidly obese guy came in for right lower quadrant pain. I lifted up his gut and found his lost wallet. Solved two problems.”

8. Not THAT Kind Of Stripper

“My mom used to be a registrar in an ER. When patients came in she was the one who took their insurance, asked about their symptoms, took their vitals, etc. One day she’s entering paperwork for a woman who I think came in for injuries to her hands but I don’t quite remember. Mom’s taking her information, and one of the questions is about the patient’s occupation. The woman says, ‘Oh, I’m a stripper! I work for Dinty Moore!’

Mom responded that she had no idea Dinty Moore hired strippers. The woman says, ‘No, I’m a stripper,’ and gestures emphatically in the air with her bleeding hands. Turns out, she strips the meat off of cow tails. That’s apparently what the meat is in Dinty Moore beef stew, cow tail.”

9. Mean Horsey

“I was shadowing in the ER once and this big white lady came in with this massive bruise around her lower stomach area. The doc asked what happened and she responded “my horse kicked me in my pussy” and I just bit my lip and turned around to force myself to not immediately bust out laughing.”