8. …ballsy

It was actually at a bar. I spotted him with another girl about a dozen yards away sharing wine and an appetizer. I went up to them and was just like “Hi, uh, I thought you were at Joe’s tonight?” He just kinda looked at me dumbfounded and went “oh, hi, this is [anon], this is Laura”. It was VERY bizarre and we all just stared at each other for a minute before he had the balls to say “we are just finishing up here but I’ll come by your apartment later”.

9. What a schmuck!

He wouldn’t take my phone calls or respond to text messages while I was at work. I looked and found his online dating profile. Came home, went through his phone. He had been cheating on me with multiple women. Sent and received nudes. Went to their houses. Took pictures of MY house and sent them to women claiming it was his and he “just bought it.” He didn’t respond that day because he had a date with a girl at Walmart. Woke him up after I went through his phone and told him I knew. His response, “this couldn’t wait till the morning?”

10. Good call

I went in planning to beat up the guy having sex with my wife. I then saw he was comfortable 6ft 4 and all muscle. I decided to close the door and calmly take my stuff and go.

11. R u mad 🙁 ?

So, it wasn’t a big love story obviously, but it was pretty fun. This pretty woman and I had been dating for three weeks now, and we were supposed to meet in town for our 5th date. But a few hours before, she canceled saying she was very sick and maybe going to the hospital but that I didn’t need to worry. I still told her I was worried and to keep me informed, that I’d gladly go with her, but she told me not to, she was adamant. Well, I was already downtown anyway so I decided to go shopping, check some stores, get a hot cocoa and some cookies.

A few hours later, I’m on my way back home waiting for a tramway when she shows up with her friends and she seems well. So I walk up to her and say that I’m glad she’s feeling better, and maybe she could introduce me to her friends. She blushes really HARD and is panicking, and takes me away and she doesn’t have the time to say anything when this guy comes up and says “Who are you?” he looks at her and says “Who is he?” he’s obviously jealous, but in a way that he’s suspicious that she’s cheating on him. Before she says anything I tell him: “Nice to meet you I’m [anon], and you ?”, “Nice to meet you too, I’m Denis”. So Denis is what I believed was my “girlfriend”‘s boyfriend. I leave them both to it and tell the girl never to call me again, or text me. Just plain and simple. I tell her that I won’t answer any of her calls or texts. Seems cheesy now but I couldn’t come up with anything better. I remember it was rainy, and then there was a big scene at the tramway stop between them both and people were watching.

I felt stupid making my “exit”, because I couldn’t just sit next to them and wait for my train after I had said that, so I decided to walk to the nearest tramway stop on the same line.

At home in the evening, I still received a text from her saying exactly word for word “r u mad 🙁 ?”. Couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Between that and the hospital excuse, I really had no regrets.

12. …NONONOno

I called my ex while I was out with my boys to overhear her sleeping with someone else. I stayed on the call for 7 minutes and 13 seconds until I was 100% sure it was her. Never figured out why she answered the phone. She then called me about 10 minutes later and denied that the event ever took place and began to say she was raped while begging for me to come comfort her. I’m so glad to be rid of that one.

13. The Trunk Boy Incident

This actually happened years ago to my significant other with his ex-wife but the story is sooo worth telling. We refer to this as the Trunk Boy incident. My significant other (we’ll call him Tom) was married with 2 small children, working hard to support his young family (they were both in their early 20’s). She’d had an affair before, saying that she was lonely because they didn’t go out much (remember, he was working a lot… very long hours). He forgave her and made an effort to work less and take her out to more. He had to work Thanksgiving and for whatever reason, needed to swap out the car he was driving with the one that was sitting at home in the driveway. It was late so he just went home and switched cars without bothering to wake her and the kids. He only worked about a mile from the house and hadn’t gotten very far when he hit a bump and felt something rolling in the trunk. He pulled over into a parking lot to investigate, opened the trunk and lo & behold, curled up in a ball pretending to be asleep was the guy she’d had the affair with. Tom couldn’t believe his eyes… he’d played pool with this guy on one of the nights he’d taken his wife out! He closed the trunk and had an internal debate over whether to back into a telephone pole or perhaps drive the car into a lake. He concluded that this dude wasn’t worth going to prison for, opened the trunk and told him to get out. Guy blearily got out and walked off. Tom went home, woke his wife up and calmly, coldly relayed what just happened and said we’re through. He got a divorced as soon as possible. Trunk boy & floozy wife had gotten drunk and since he had nowhere to stay that night, they came up with the brilliant idea of him sleeping in the trunk and leaving before “Tom” got home. Tom divorced his wife as soon as possible.

Her loss, my gain. If there was a trophy for Best Husband Ever, he’d have it on the mantle… this guy is golden. We’ve been married 12 years now and I tell him every day how damn lucky I am to have him.