Ladies, your dudes are keeping deep, dark secrets from you that you MUST find out.

Just ask reddit! They’ll always tell you…far more than you ever wanted to know.

So much more.

Oh god.

Here we go.

1. SHAME!

We use decorative towels as normal towels.

2. It Makes a Difference, Sarah!

If there’s a scale next to the toilet, we weigh ourselves before and after taking a crap.

3. I Knew It!

We actually can read minds. We only pretend we can’t to get you all riled up.

4. Peek-a-boo

We love wearing sunglasses in the warmer months to sneak peeks at TnA without anyone knowing. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses that other people can easily see through, you idiot.

5. Pew Pew Pew

When no one is looking we pretend power drills are guns.

6. Every. Single. Time.

It doesn’t matter if we’re close friends or casual acquaintances, we still image what sex with you would be like, even if we would never act on it.

7. Ogle This!

Even when you don’t think we’re looking, we’re looking.

8. Put Your Man on Manual

There’s a hidden button near the base of male skulls which unlocks an administrative override system in their brains.

To access this override, first gently touch the button, then run your hands down the sides of the man’s neck. This is the authentication pathway, and it extends from the collarbone to the area just inside the man’s hips. Upon reaching that terminus point, you’ll discover that a joystick has been revealed.

By maintaining a firm-yet-gentle grip on that control, you can influence a man to do just about anything you want.

9. YESSSSSS

When you ask me what I’m thinking about and I respond with “nothing”, I’m actually thinking about what a rattlesnake would taste like.

10. Oh. God. No.

Search C: for “.jpg” or “.wmv”

You won’t like what you find