Just think for a minute, your dogs mannerisms, behaviors, characteristics. Those are all now your way of life. That would be hilarious! The mailman is now your worst enemy, the ball, your best friend and so much more.
These 14 people did an awesome job helping us envision what our new canine lives would look like, and I must say, its awesome.
2. All. The. Time.
Dogs will be with their people 100% of the time, at work, the grocery store, the DMV, everything.
The crime of leaving your dog for more than 5 seconds will be punishable by intense licks to the face and accidental kicks to the groin, as it is now classified as felony dog abandonment.
3. Best seller
“Who’s a Good Boy?” Becomes a best selling novel and no one knows for sure if they are indeed a good boy.
4. Seems normal
Barking at people as they walk past the opening in my cubicle.
5. New money
My dogs use rocks as currency. I don’t know how or why this started but if anything is missing there is ALWAYS a rock in its place. If I want the item back I have to take the rock back to the dog to get it or else he won’t let go.
It’s not an uncommon thing to go to bed and find my pillows replaced with rocks and my dog somewhere with them under his head.
I can’t get mad at them either because the logic is pretty solid.
6. Well hello there
Sniffing butts to greet each other.
No take, only throw
8. Smile like you mean it
Now everyone has to be happy to see me.
9. Best friend
Treat everyone you meet as a friend until proven otherwise.
10. Hyper drive
Thing outside has been determined to not be a threat. Thing just moved. Thing is now considered a threat until it’s been yelled at a bunch.
In related news, the neighbors just turned out their horses into the pasture beside us…
11. Rested indeed
Standards of evidence will certainly change.
Attorney: And when did you last inspect the bolt securing the ferris wheel?
Mechanic: On January 9th.
Attorney: And was the bolt secure?
Mechanic: Yes it was.
Attorney: And how did you verify that it was secure?
Mechanic: Well I looked at it. And I tested it with my wrench.
Attorney: Did you… sniff it?
Mechanic: … No. I didn’t.
Attorney: Your Honor, I rest my case.
12. Also mine
Pissing on stuff to claim them as your own.
13. Worst case scenario
Anytime anyone goes out of the house and leaves me behind, they’re probably DEAD and never ever coming back ever. I’ll never see them again. If they do somehow return, a miracle has occurred and the gods have brought them back to life. Appropriate celebrating is required.
14. Oh Joy!
Now i can hump anyones leg!
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