Grandparents rock! They tell stories from the “good ole days” and give awesome fashion advice. Take a gander at these Reddit users and the hilarious things they learned or heard from their older loved ones.
1. I don’t get it
My dad calls dubstep “The Devil’s Dialup Tone” or just “The Garbage Disposal.” He’s had a couple more, but he uses those a lot.
Also, whenever he has to go to the bathroom, he says, “I have to poop like a park ranger.” I still don’t get it.
2. Just go!
I take my grandma out to run her errands and get her out of the house for a while. One day we were in a rush to get somewhere, we came to an intersection and the light turned red right before we got there. She looks at me and says “run it, just go.” Being the good grandson I am, I do so. As we pass, she waves to the oncoming cars and says “toodle-loo!”
3. Lol, tree donkeys
My grandfather used to hide behind the BBQ on his patio and shoot squirrels with a super-soaker when they would try to loot the bird feeder. He would yell “Not today tree donkeys” then come back in the kitchen chuckling to himself. I miss that goofy man.
4. Straight up
Maybe not the funniest thing he’s said, but my 93 year old grandfather when he had his picture taken: “I wish I had a camera. I’d take a picture of myself every day because I’m so damn handsome.”
My grandparents told me this story one time. It was their “coming of age” when they realized they’re two old people now.
Grandpa is trying to get past my grandmother who is loading pre made pies into the freezer. Grandpa says, “Can I get by?”
Grandma grabs her pies and says, “What kind?”
Grandpa checks his watch and says, “Quarter after three”.
Both said they didn’t even realize it until ten minutes later, when my grandpa called my grandma old.
I’m an EMT, we were taking a 90-something year old man to the ER, and as I was putting the cuff on his arm to get a blood pressure, he sees my tattoo on the inside of my forearm and asks “is that a tattoo?” I say “yes it is, sir” he looks me in the eye and says “well then, that makes you a jerk!” and didn’t say another word to me. I wasn’t even mad, it was too funny.
7. I like big butts and I cannot lie
My grandfather explaining the story of how he met my grandma: “I saw her walking down the street with her friends and picked out the greatest butt.” Short and sweet.