Adults share the reasons why they are choosing not to have children

In today’s society, it is considered abnormal to be a couple who chooses not to have children once they’re established. If you’re someone who chose to be childless, you’ll get a lot of parents asking you why you made the decision, and then probably trying to convince you to change your mind, even if your reason is valid.

Recently on Reddit, childless people came to share the completely valid reasons why they chose to not have children.

They’ve Already Lived Out Their Maternal Desires

“I’m the oldest of 10, and I raised my baby sister from infancy to six years old, on top of being responsible for six siblings at the time (I’ve gained three since I escaped my situation).

“Changing diapers and warming up bottles at 3 a.m. as a preteen pretty much killed any desire I might have ever had. I’ve since added a book of reasons not to procreate.” —Ikmia / Reddit

A Pet Is Enough Of A Responsibility

“… I can barely take care of a cat. How do you think I would do with a child?” —TipsyNate / Reddit

A lot of people like to joke that they can’t even take care of themselves so how would they take care of a child, but it’s not always a joke! If you know it’s not for you, your non-existent future child is probably better off.

This Is As Valid As Any Other Reason

“I was born this way. Have just never desired children. No particular reason.” —Tennesseewaltz / Reddit

So you’ve never had the drive to be a parent? Who cares? There are plenty of people who do want kids who can make up for the one or two you won’t have.

“I Don’t Like The Baby Stage”

“I don’t want to go through birth, I don’t like the baby stage, children and toddlers are fun and can be adorable but not 24/7.

“I like money and the peace of mind that I won’t do anything to screw up their lives.” —Ghostofmeow / Reddit

It Takes A Lot Of Patience—Sometimes More Than You Have

“I now work at a place with lots of visitors including screaming rowdy kids and entitled parents. Seeing both, I don’t have patience for kids and I don’t want myself to turn into my kids’ adults.” —I_love_pillows / Reddit

“I don’t have the patience to deal with them.” —zion100799 / Reddit

Sacrificing Peace And Quiet Isn’t Worth It

“I love peace and quiet.” —Reddit

“Whenever I visit family with children, it’s fine for a few hours but then I’ve had enough of their energy and chaos, and I’m very glad to get home where it’s calm. There not being any real way to escape feels like a nightmare.” —Mithent / Reddit

The Question Should Be Why Are You Having Children, Not Why Aren’t You

“That’s backward. What are the reasons I should have one?” —Amunium / Reddit

Rather than asking adults why they’re not having children, maybe we should ask more adults why they are having children. Do they have a valid reason?

Once A Mom, Always A Mom

“Once I’m a mom, I can never not be a mom. I like deciding what I can do whenever I want to without having to care for a child. I feel like a partner is already enough ‘compromise’ (for a lack of a better word) of free time.

“Have nothing against kids though! Just not for me.” —SoybeanDestroyer / Reddit

Financial Stability Trumps Having A Child

“Our society is structured so that nearly everyone but the wealthy are living hand to mouth. I feel no security in my life and find life stressful.

“I can’t imagine how bad that would be if I had to worry about another soul.” —Harvey1977 / Reddit

Not Everyone Makes A Good Parent

“I’m aromantic and self-centered. I would make a terrible partner and a lousy parent.” —TakerFoxx / Reddit

If you’re self-aware enough to know that you’re selfish or that you wouldn’t make a good parent, good for you!

Could We Skip Forward To When They’re Preteens?

“They’re expensive and I’m already in enough debt from college. They’re a big commitment and seeing how my siblings’ lives have changed with kids, I look at that and don’t want it. I like my freedom, I don’t handle crying well, especially from kids/babies, they’re rowdy, loud, messy, and cause damage. If I could fast-forward them to age 10, I’d be more open to it.

“I’m 28 and considering a vasectomy. When I find the right woman, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I tend to look for women who don’t have kids and would rather not have them.” —thethickness / Reddit

What World Are You Bringing The Child Into?

“I feel like there’s an unsettlingly good chance that in 10-20 years the world will be a hellish wasteland of conflict, want, and authoritarianism.

“I can’t in good conscience send a kid out into this reality, you know?” —uummwhat / Reddit

In Case It Was Unclear, It’s A Huge Responsibility

“Because I don’t see a cute plaything when I see a baby, I see a huge responsibility. A responsibility big enough that it will consume years of my life. You literally need to be present with the baby all the time. Every action is going to factor into growing and shaping the destiny of that baby.

“Being a parent is the most important job on the planet. So stop giving birth to babies because they are cute.” —DarkRevenant515 / Reddit

The Fun Uncle Role Sounds Like A Better Fit

“I would make a terrible dad, great uncle but a terrible dad.” —RagePandazXD / Reddit

You can be the aunt or uncle who swoops in a couple of times a month to get your nieces or nephews out of your sibling’s hands so they can have a break.

The Freedom To Do Whatever You Want, Whenever You Want

“I like having my time and money to myself. Fancy sitting in bed late, drinking beer and ordering takeout? I can do that.

“Going out with friends at the drop of a hat with no worries? That too.” —Brainwrongs_ / Reddit

How Are They Always Sticky?

“I’m aromantic, asexual, and agender. Not only do I have neither the desire, nor the capability to enter into a relationship, I also experience a large amount of gender dysphoria and plan on fixing that as soon as I’m able, thus completely removing my ability to produce children.

“On top of that, my job requires me to be around kids, and yeah they’re cute for the 30 seconds I interact with them, but ultimately kids annoy me; they’re loud, obnoxious, and somehow always sticky.” —cantabileConjurer / Reddit

“I’m Selfish”

“I’m frankly quite selfish (I’d never, ever neglect a child however). I’d prefer the new clothes and games that I bought recently to a nappy / diaper bill.” —Brainwongs_ / Reddit

“I am selfish so I am not gonna sacrifice my time for them. I don’t want to bring kids into this world if they can’t be unconditionally loved.” —the1992munchkin / Reddit

Not The Nicest Thing For Your Friend To Say But Okay

“A friend told me once that I would probably be like the mom from Carrie and there’s no way I would condemn a child to such a miserable life.”—booksoverppl / Reddit

Children Are Your Whole Life For The Next 18+ Years

“I’m stingy. I don’t want something that takes up the majority of my life for the foreseeable future.” —Unnecessary-Spaces / Reddit

It’s okay to want children and want them to be the center of your life, but it’s also okay to not want them for the same reason.

There’s Just No Desire For It

“I’ve been to plenty of family gatherings where kids are screaming and running wild basically, and all I can see is how tired the moms are.

I’ve never left thinking ‘yeah, that’s the life I want’ either.” —idrodorworld / Reddit

Other Parents Can Be The Worst

“Yeah, I’m still undecided about having children, but one of the big reasons on my list in favor of not having kids is having to deal with other parents.

So many of them infuriate me, and is honestly 90% of my frustration with dealing with children.” —wrathofpie / Reddit

You Can Love Kids Without Wanting Them For Yourself

“Too mentally ill from childhood trauma and have various autoimmune diseases. Wouldn’t be fair to have a child when I’m not completely present for them.

Love kids but not for me” —sheakat1997 / Reddit

A Child Isn’t An Accesory

“There’s a difference between wanting a child, and wanting to be a parent.

One makes you a kid sound like an accessory, the other makes you think of the responsibility” —Obvious-Cap1583 / Reddit

“It Just Never Appealed To Me”

“having my own kids just never appealed to me. I used to earn money by babysitting when I was a teen. Kids are fine and it was an ok starter job. But being able to go home and have my own peace and quiet is priceless.

The idea of being on-call for kids 24/7 for most of 18 years is way too much for me. I’m a huge introvert, giving up living alone sounds so stressful. I’m happy on my own.” —TheOtherZebra / Reddit

This Planet Has Plenty Of Children

“I love my life too much. I hate mess and noise. I love travelling whenever I like. I love going for trips and meals out with my husband. I love being able to do what I want whenever I want.

I dont want to spend my days listening to crying, arguing, whining, doing the school run in the rain and shopping for food. The planet has plenty of humans and we have done a great job of wrecking the planet and treat animal so cruelly – I dont want to add to that problem.” —CurvePuzzleheaded361

Don’t Do It Unless You Really Really Want One.

“I just never really wanted to. And I think if you’re going to create another human being you should really, really want to.

I don’t think any more reason than that is necessary.” —trowzerss / Reddit