25 Hilarious cat jokes straight outta the vet’s office
Cats may not be comedians, but cat veterinarians definitely know how to bring the fun! If you’re skeptical, just take a look at the witty messages on animal hospital signs. A bit of humor is the perfect way to ease the stress of a vet visit.
Cats make perfect subjects for jokes—they often carry themselves like they’re above it all and rarely get offended. Whether you’re a devoted cat fan or just a casual observer, these cheeky nods to our feisty feline companions are sure to make you smile. Get ready to laugh!
Sometimes They Do Lend A Helping Paw
Truth be told, cats likely choose to sit on your laptop simply because it’s warm. But it’s amusing to imagine they’re deliberately trying to help you dodge work—or maybe they’re just demanding some attention, reminding you not to get lost in your screen.
Whatever their motive, spotting a cozy, snuggly cat sprawled over your laptop is reason enough to happily “purrcrastinate.”
The Punniest Cat Joke
Puns are awesome because they turn ordinary sentences into something hilarious. It’s ironic that the person cautioning others about cat puns slips one in right away.
The second line takes a more serious tone—until that final “I’m not kitten” punchline hits, making you crack up. Some puns bend word meanings a bit too far, but this one lands just right.
Martial Art
Have you ever come across a cat that actually enjoys bath time or even tolerates it? If you have, consider yourself lucky—those cats are pretty rare.
That’s why giving cats a bath is such a challenge. It’s nothing like washing a dog, who might actually like the water. When it comes to felines, it’s a whole different story—so much so that you could call it a Martial Art.
This Is What Happens When You Get On Their Bad Side
While we often joke about cats and their sassy attitudes, there’s no denying that a hissing cat can be genuinely eerie. A dog barking next door might just earn a casual eye roll and some earplugs.
But a cat fiercely hissing across the street? That’s a far more unsettling sign than spotting a black cat on Halloween. Though “hissy fit” is often used in a playful or dismissive way, when someone’s really throwing a true hissy fit, you can feel the chill run right down your spine.
The Cat Who Lived
Harry Potter fans will definitely get a kick out of this pun. It turns out that one of the most beloved characters from the series has a name that’s easily tweaked into a feline nickname. Although, a cat might take offense if they thought you were calling them “hairy” instead of “furry.”
Picture a cat combining its usual agility and swagger with actual magical powers—now that would be a real cat-astrophe!
Mice Krispies!
This one is probably a no-brainer, but do you know what a cats favorite breakfast is? It isn’t a bowl of wet food with catnip sprinkled on top, although that would be a good one.
No, their favorite breakfast has to be Mice Krispies. You can’t find it at every store, but if you look hard enough then you will certainly locate it. your cat will adore you for life after having this meal for the first time.
No Laughing Matter
When we first came across this joke, we almost overlooked the word “feline.” The human brain is so adaptable that once you’re used to reading, you often don’t focus on every single letter. Since “feline” is so close to “feelin’,” it’s easy to miss.
Interestingly, both words share the same letters if you drop the “g.” “Purramedic” stands out more clearly, though. While “purrfect” is a more common pun, it’s nice to see something fresh like this one.
Proof That The Earth Is Not Flat
Cats may be known for their sassy behavior, but they can also be some of the funniest pets—mainly because they often make absolutely no sense. Why a cat feels the need to push things around is just as puzzling as why dogs are so obsessed with chasing things.
This is what makes this joke so perfect. Truly, the world would be quite different if it were flat. Just picture yourself searching for your car keys only to realize your cats have sent them into outer space once again.
When It’s Time To Tell Someone Off
Cats may not have the ability to verbally scold their owners, but their behavior speaks volumes. They’re masters at communication in the most subtle ways—whether it’s standing up when they’ve had enough petting or giving a stranger the kind of look that could melt their soul.
Owners, of course, know their cats better than anyone, having spent the most time with them. Just like some people carry around their mother’s nagging in their minds, we wouldn’t be surprised if cat owners are often haunted by the silent disapproval of their feline companions.
Know Your Place
Dogs are ruled by their pack leader, meaning that they work under a strict code of authority. As long as a human has the will to be assertive with their canine, the dog will have no choice but to obey and thus become a loyal follower.
Cats, on the other hand, don’t play by the same rules. Some cats would bolt at the first chance they got, if only they didn’t have to work harder for food in the wild than they do at home. But don’t ever confuse them as a follower just because they stick around.
Words To Live By
Well-known sayings are the best to turn into a pun because they’re usually easy to get right off the bat. The common phrase being utilized here is “live long and prosper,” which is an expression used by Spock on Star Trek.
“Live long and pawsper” sounds like an encouragement to live long under someone else’s roof being taken care of all your life. Also, to remain completely indifferent as often as possible. Man, cats have it good.
The Purrfect Celebrity
One thing that’s impressive about cats is how they can go the majority of their life with hardly any exercise, and then one day out of the blue hunt down a mouse like they’ve been training all year. The same logic applies to the weird things they do while they’re awake.
You may have the most relaxed cat one second, and the next they’re spazzing out for an hour straight, giving you plenty of time to grab a recording device. In this day and age, who wouldn’t love to have that kind of viral video talent?
Not The Replying Type
This joke is short, sweet, and to the point. It also doesn’t rely on puns to be hilarious. It’s funny because many people could imagine this being true. It’s not like cats come racing when you call their name or arrive back home.
If they did text you back, they’d probably come off insulting without even trying. We could see them sending the distasteful “K.” as a response to your heartfelt message about how much you love their presence and just want the best for them.
Those Were The Days
It’s tempting to blame cats for their sense of entitlement and apparent lack of gratitude, but their behavior might just be the result of a long history that shaped them this way. After all, maybe our ancestors revered cats as gods because of their regal demeanor.
Trying to figure out whether cats trained humans to worship them or if humans taught cats how to demand worship is a bit like the classic chicken-or-egg debate or counting how many licks it takes to reach the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop—some mysteries are just beyond us.
Nothing Beats Cheetahs
The cat attitude makes a whole lot more sense when you remember that they’re in the same family as lions, tigers, cheetahs, etc. No wonder they have such a complex; they have one of the most talented families in the jungle.
A cat would definitely get beat by a cheetah at poker, but that’s because they don’t stand a chance against their larger cousins. That must be another reason why they are always trying to come off tough. Their big heads have to make up for their tiny bodies.
A Cat Would Say This
Cat jokes don’t get much better than this one. That’s because it captures the essence of a cat’s character so perfectly, especially as it relates to dogs. Anywhere a cat goes you get the sense that they simultaneously want to be admired and left alone.
On the other hand, dogs are often scatterbrained, so keeping their attention on one thing for long can be a challenge. Cats must be dying to grab the attention of a dog, even if only to race away from it the next second.
The One Thing They Can Never Get Enough Of
Everything seems to tire a cat, even sleep itself! We’ve all had those days where getting out of bed doesn’t feel possible. Imagine a life where all you had to do was stretch out on the couch, in the sunny part of the carpet, under the bed, anywhere that made you feel comfortable and safe.
It’s ironic to call sleeping a sport since it’s literally the exact opposite of exercise. But hey, each to their own.
Differing Perspectives
It’s funny how what works for one species would never work for another. Licking is a clear example. The closest humans get to licking themselves is holding a wound to their mouth, and even that can be risky depending on the depth of the cut.
Cats, on the other hand, seem to love licking themselves almost as much as they love sleeping. It probably has something to do with their heightened sense of self-adoration. They may think we’re gross for not licking, but we think they’re ridiculous for hating water so much.
Look At The Bright Side
Where in the world did the expression “someone let the cat out of the bag” come from? Someone must have been trying to transport their cat without having to deal with its relentless claws.
That being said, getting the cat into the bag, as this joke so correctly points out, would have been the real nightmare. Maybe we should create the new phrase “somebody put the cat in the bag” as a congratulatory remark to acknowledge someone’s hard work and dedication.
String Theory…
If you’ve ever pulled out a string like item around your precious little feline, then you know how serious they take that. All their attention shifts and now all they want to do is capture the mysterious stringy ornament.
That’s probably why a cat scientist majors in String Theory. That way, they can understand why a cat is so in love with strings and how they become so entranced by the situation with only a few things able to steer their attention away from it.
Selling Cat Food One Way Only…
There can’t be another way for cat food to get sold. The best and only way is to sell it individually or purr can. Do you get it, one purr can?
If you don’t get it, we’re sorry, but its the only type of food that only comes one by one thanks to cat puns. This way, there’s no confusion when someone asks you to pick up some cat food on the way home, just get the can.
A Cross-Breed
You wouldn’t normally want to cross a cat and a lemon, but sometimes, strange things take place. Do you know what happens when these two mix? Don’t worry, we’ll tell you.
Crossing a lemon and a cat gives you a sourpuss, an even deadlier feline that you don’t want to mess with and always have to obey. If you don’t listen to their every command, then you might as well pack your bags and get out the house, cause you’re finished.
We Thought Cats Were Aliens
This whole time we thought that cats were aliens, but this sign tells us otherwise. If aliens were to come to Earth, their best bet would be to communicate with a cat, because they run everything.
We just hope the alien doesn’t mispronounce leader and litter or else the kitty might really take the otherworldly figures to where they relieve themselves. We wouldn’t want a world domination to take place because of bad communication, would we?
Pet Your Kitty
Something that cats provide that you can deem useful is the ability to let you pet them. Not all have the capacity to show such kindness, but the ones that do, you can bet you’ll feel way better after you do it.
Petting a cat will leave you feline good, in case you didn’t know from this sign. Their fur and purring combined provide something that tickles our insides. Be thankful if one chooses you to experience this.
The Dog Has It’s Day
A dog almost always listens to you when you ask it to. That’s just in their nature. If a pooch isn’t listening, then chances are it isn’t trained properly or, you can have an impostor.
By that, we mean a dog dressed as a cat. They’ve witnessed the power of a kitty and given the chance, they will do as a cat. Whatever you do, don’t let your canine dress up as a feline or there will be trouble.
