Life lessons everyone should know by the time they are 40

I often think about how much easier life would be if it came with an instruction manual—maybe one of those IKEA ones that have all the pictures laid out in a booklet. Unfortunately, life likes to teach its lessons by giving you the test first and forcing you to learn on the fly.

While none of our lives are exactly the same, there are general bits of wisdom and experience we all pick up over time. Here are some life lessons you should already have picked up by the time you’re 40.

Don’t Pursue Happiness—Chase Experience And Learning

Wanting to be happy is natural, but many worthwhile and important parts of life, like working hard, learning, and relationships, don’t make us happy 100% of the time. Focus on gaining a full human experience and happiness will come to you.

Trust Your Gut

Our intuition can be very powerful and should not be underestimated. Even if you can’t pinpoint why your gut is telling you to do something or stay away from something else, you should follow your instinct.

Constantly Overworking Yourself Isn’t Impressive

Some people love to brag about how little sleep they get and how overworked they are, but destroying yourself over a career is nothing to be proud of. Slowing to take care of yourself is a good and necessary thing to do.

Real Friends Are There Through The Ups And Downs

We’ve all had fair-weather friends: the ones who were there when everything was going well for you. However, real friends will be there with you at your worst times and you’ll want to be there through theirs.

You Can’t Compare Yourself To Others’ Highlight Reels

Stop comparing your everyday life to other people’s successes, awards, and social media posts. Everyone loves to showcase the best moments of their lives and most flattering pictures, but you don’t see the less fabulous side behind the scenes.

Failure Is One Of The Best Things That Can Happen To You

Failure is one of the most valuable teachers we have in life, because it allows us to learn from our mistakes. Don’t be afraid to try things and yourself fail more.

You Can’t Control Everything In Life

Despite your best intentions to shape the future and develop a plan of what your life should look like, things never go exactly the way you want them to. Allowing yourself to move with the flow of life and accepting variation will make you much happier.

Be Kind—You Don’t Know What Others Are Going Through

On any given day, every single person on this planet has their own thoughts, feelings, problems, and worries going through their heads, even though it’s not visible. You never know how a little bit of kindness can impact someone.

Do The Work That You’re Passionate About

Life is too short to spend most of your time working in a job or spending time around people that you hate just because of a paycheck or obligation. Put your time and energy into things and people that you truly care about.

It’s Okay To Be Afraid But Don’t Let Your Fear Own You

Fear is absolutely natural and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s okay to be afraid when making a big life change or trying something new, but don’t let that fear dictate how you live your life—take the leap.

Adaptability Is One Of The Most Important Skills In Life

The world is constantly changing around us and survival of the fittest still applies. Rather than getting stuck in your own ways, be adaptable and willing to learn so that you’re always ahead of the curve.

Tell The People Close To You That You Love Them As Often As Possible

Life is unpredictable and you never know when you’ll lose someone you love. Tell people you love them often and genuinely, because you always want people to know that you care about them just in case the worst happens.

Vulnerability Is A Strength, Not A Weakness

Showing vulnerability can be scary, so being open and vulnerable is a great demonstration of strength. Our ability to be vulnerable allows us to connect with others and empathize, which is powerful.

You Always Have Time To Be Polite To Others

A simple “please” and “thank you” can go a long way when it comes to making people feel seen and appreciated, and it takes almost no effort at all to say. Just be polite like your mother would expect.

Your Health Should Be A Priority In Life

We only get one body in this life, so you have to use it wisely. It’s easy to put our health on the back-burner when we have so many social, workplace, and familial responsibilities, but bad health will only take time away from you in the long run.

Don’t Be Afraid To Look Foolish

So what if people are watching? Dance in the wild way that makes you happy. Do karaoke even if you don’t think you’re a good singer. In the end, what other people think of you doesn’t really matter anyway.

Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day: Stay Patient

You may not be seeing results as fast as you think you should, but that doesn’t mean you should quit. Patience when working towards a goal is one of the most difficult skills to gain, but it makes you resilient.

A Good Conversationalist Listens More Than They Talk

There is power in silence. When you’re having a conversation, make sure you listen as much or more than you speak. You’ll be surprised about how much you learn (and also, how much more people will like you).

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

As much as we want to act like everything is going well for us, it’s okay to admit that you’re not doing well. Allowing yourself to be not okay is the first step toward getting better.

Life Is Too Short To Not Say How You Feel

Sometimes we become afraid that our feelings will drive someone away, but you regret the words you don’t say more than the ones you do. Tell people how you feel, and most times it will lead to you having a better relationship with them rather than building resentment.

You Have To Live With Yourself, So You Should Also Learn To Like Yourself Too

There’s only one person you are stuck with your entire life, and it’s you. Learn to love yourself despite your flaws and forgive yourself for your missteps. You should always be your own number one fan.

Spending Time Alone Is Necessary And Very Valuable In Life

Spending time alone allows you to learn more about yourself, your interests, and your personal goals for the future. I’m not saying that you should always be alone, but knowing yourself individually makes you a better partner to others in the future.

Money Isn’t Everything, But Financial Independence Sets You Free

You shouldn’t focus your entire life around getting that bread and securing the bag, but there is a lot of value in being financially independent and debt-free. Try to save reasonably and spend responsibly so that you can control your own finances.