Nightmarish coworkers who have no business being employed

From long commutes to terrible bosses and mediocre salaries, people have to put up with a lot of crap on the quest for the almighty dollar.

But nothing makes a workplace go downhill faster than a toxic coworker, and unfortunately for these people, they pulled the short straw when it came to colleagues. After dealing with these coworkers from hell, we wouldn’t blame them for looking for a new job.

A Moment Of Silence

“Look how they massacred my poor boy.”

A moment of silence for this poor sheet cake who was butchered by “an office full of sadists” (as this Redditor so eloquently put it).

And The Smurf Stands Alone

All of Papa Smurf’s coworkers agreed to dress up for Halloween, but apparently, he was the only one who actually followed through (but we admire his dedication to the spirit of Halloween and his costume).

After learning he was the only one who dressed up, however, you could probably say he was feeling a little blue (there’s my dad joke for the day).

“I Haven’t Been On My Phone Today”

Being short-staffed when a colleague calls in sick to work and there’s no one available to cover them is always a recipe for a rough day. But I bet this person who informed their coworkers they were sick 17 minutes after their shift started isn’t earning “employee of the month” anytime soon.

“I haven’t been on my phone today.” You, my friend, are full of shift.

A Cereal Killer

For uncultured swines like us, modern art can be…confusing. But you know what they say, art really does imitate life.

So when this person’s colleague kept spilling his cereal on the floor each morning, he decided to turn it into a truly breathtaking work of art. Presenting: “Jerry the Cereal Killer.”

I’m Going To IHOP Out Of Here

This poor customer just wanted a stack of pancakes when they walked through the kitchen of an IHOP and realized everyone had quit. While they might be terrible (former) coworkers to those who still work there, anyone who’s actually worked in the public service industry probably understands the impulse.

All I wanted was my breakfast sampler!

The Sweet Taste Of Chaos

When this coworker isn’t enjoying her lollipop, she chooses to rest it on the screen of her phone. What makes it 10x worse is when you realize that they both work at a hospital.

Here is number 72 on the list of “Things not to do during a global pandemic.”

Tiny Violins

A Redditor captioned this photo, “I bought a tiny violin to play when my coworkers or girlfriend complain.”

Now we’ll await his inevitable next post when he asks Reddit, “My girlfriend broke up with me and my coworkers hate me after I bought a tiny violin to play when they started complaining. Am I the a**hole?” Yes, yes you are.

A Gift Fit For A Flat-Earther

When an employee resigned, this was the present his coworkers gave him on his last day. From the perspective of the resigned employee, yes, this is a mean thing for your coworkers to do. But for the rest of us who actually believe in science and that the world is round, this is absolutely hysterical.

“Best of luck wherever the world takes you!”

(Almost) Perfect Printing

This employee is fed up with coworkers using their “ultra fine” dry-erase markers and turning them into “ultra dull” dry-erase markers.

Yeah, sure, I get why they’re mad and all, but look at that gorgeous printing! When I go to sign my own name it looks like a drunken toddler scribbled it.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

When you encounter a terrible driver on the road, you probably hope that you never have to see them again. But what about when that terrible driver is one of your coworkers?

I don’t even drive and this is infuriating. Guess it’s the city bus for me.

An Ice-Cold Coworker

It’s hotter than holy hell outside, so often the only thing that helps us beat the heat is an ice-cold drink. Unfortunately for this person, they’ll have to go to Starbucks because their coworker was too lazy to refill the ice cube tray.

“Damn, that was close. If I took that last ice cube I might have to refill the tray.”

“Feed Me, Seymour”

Is that an office or the depths of the jungle?

This one worker has been growing a vine in the office for a year when they were told by their boss to get rid of the plant. Do these colleagues not know how Little Shop of Horrors ends? Spoiler alert: Everybody dies.

For Christmas, You’re Getting A Garbage Can

No one likes dealing with messy people, and the only people who can actually get away with being messy are babies because obviously, they don’t know any better.

But this van driver should definitely know better, and we’re cringing alongside the poor coworker who had to borrow their van during what can only be assumed was a very unpleasant day of work.

Typhoid Mary

Imagine walking past your coworker’s desk and then noticing that this is what their favorite coffee mug looks like.

It’s nothing short of miraculous that Typhoid Mary over here hasn’t yet fallen ill from drinking from her petri dish—I mean coffee mug.

Burn The Binoculars

Speaking of the ocean, this Redditor explained that their workplace is located near a beach, and their two creepy colleagues frequently watch the women there. But this day, they decided to use a pair of binoculars. Instead of saying something to shut down the sexist behavior, however, they commented that while it’s “gross” to hear their colleagues talk about it, they won’t say anything and don’t care either way.

So here are three people who definitely need to be thrown into the deepest part of the ocean.

Passive-Aggressive Patty

On the way to go use the washroom, this Redditor’s coworker saw them close a drawer that was slightly left open.

For revenge, this Redditor should now remove the contents of these cupboards and drawers and dump them on their coworker’s desk.

You Owe Me A New Stapler

A coworker returned this stapler to their colleague after claiming “it ran out of staples.” But a quick look underneath the stapler determines that that was indeed a lie.

They should regift this stapler to their coworker for the office Secret Santa.

Breakfast Is Served

Usually, when a coworker brings donuts or cake into the office to share with their colleagues it’s going to be a good day at work. But in this case, sharing is definitely not caring.

This is the confectionary carnage left behind after a secretary brought “breakfast” for their coworkers and then immediately quit their job.