7. Onions

During high school I worked at a fast food joint.

There was this one woman who would always come into drive- thru during the afternoon and ask for a burger with extra onions. And I mean, a LOT of extra onions. And no matter how many we put in, she always came into the store and complained that there weren’t enough. Still, this was in the middle of the afternoon, so we didn’t care.

However, one day, we had four buses full of US Army enlistees at the store at the same time. Now, these people were always the nicest, most respectful people you can possibly imagine, which was a welcome change after dealing with jerks the whole day. They also always ordered a lot of stuff. My boss would always have me give them the ‘senior discount’ (15% off), and they enjoyed that immensely, because it said that they were getting a senior discount on their receipts.

Anyways, nice as the were, they strained our store to the limit because they ordered so much food. So we were almost literally going hammer and tongs to keep up, and then mean face woman comes into drive-thru. My boss told me to just grab two handfuls of onions and put them on the sandwich, because she didn’t need a scene when we were as far behind as we were. I could barely close the it because of the onions, but I managed it and we gave it to her.

Now remember, the store is completely full of US Army enlistees. They probably have not had fast food for weeks (I think they were going from boot camp to get their first assignments). And the line was out the door. So she pushes her way past all of these people, rudely shoving them out of her way, and comes up to the counter screaming that she didn’t have enough onions. My boss is pissed, so she takes the sandwich, hands it to me, and tells me to do whatever the hell I want with it.

I filled it with all the onions we had, wrapped it up and gave it to her. She insisted on opening it at the counter and the thing EXPLODED ALL OVER. SO freaking awesome. All the troops were trying not to laugh. One of their officers (a pretty quite young 1st Lt.) was waiting by the counter for his food, and finally he just gave up and started laughing his butt off. The troops took this as a cue, and she had about 250 troops all dying laughing at her. One of the best days of my high school life.
She didn’t come back for a month, and she never, EVER complained about not having enough onions.