3. VHS and Chill

It was 2001, so I was VHS & chilling at this girl’s dorm room.

It was my first time over there, and there was this giant bear on the bed. Like a ‘got the softball in the milk jug at the carnival first try’ bear. It occupied 50% of the surface area of her bed.

I say, “Whoa, how’d you score that bear?”

Her: “I don’t know…”

Me: “What?”

Her: “I don’t know.”

Me: “You don’t know?”

Her: “Nope.”

Me: “Okay, look…”

Me: “It’s okay if it’s from an ex. I don’t care if you stole it. I’ll believe almost anything you tell me at this point. But there is no way you’re going to tell me you don’t know where that giant bear is from.”

Her: “But I don’t know how I got it. Are you going to be able to let this go?”

Me: (looks at bear, bear stares back, eyes full of secrets) “I don’t think I can.”

I got out of there and never looked back.

4. Waste of time

This cute girl from class randomly walked into my dorm room. The door was normally open during the day. She was in the building visiting a friend and saw me playing guitar so she came in and started flirting. She asked me to meet her at a nearby bar that night at 10 so I agreed. I get there at 10 and she introduces me to her boyfriend. I finished my beer and made my escape. No idea what that was about. Glad I didn’t stick around to find out.