9. Paranoid

Got set up on a date with this pretty awkward guy. He picked me up in his car (which was sort of cool considering we were in high school). But oh my god he was a nervous driver. So nervous in fact that he accidentally ran a red light, lost his mind and ducked into a residential area to sit at the end of a cul-de-sac freaking out, thinking the cops were coming.

I tried to explain that if a cop had seen him we’d have already have been pulled over, but this dude was too panicked to listen. I don’t remember anything else about the date, just that. It was uneventful and I never really talked to him again because we had nothing in common.

10. Tinder time

We met on Tinder, hadn’t talked for too long but I thought what the hell? I need to get out more. The first thing he said was, “Oh wow, you’re so pretty!”

Two drinks in, we’re having an awkward conversation, and he’s buying me double G&Ts instead of the singles I’m asking for. Mid-sentence, he grabs my face and says, “Sorry – I just need to get this out of the way.”

Then he forcefully sticks his tongue down my throat. I didn’t really know what to do because I didn’t want to cause a scene.

I said I needed to look up the time for the last train. He said, “no it’s fine you can stay at my place!” He begs, saying he’ll sleep on the couch, he just wants to get to know me better. I said no. He huffs, very briefly, and then cheers up and tells me he’ll look up the train time for me “like a gentleman.”

He says it’s at 1 AM. I said that’s late, is he sure? He gets all tense and says, “What? Don’t you believe me!?” I smiled and said, “of course not.” I excused myself to the toilet and checked the times on my phone. (The last train was actually at 12: 15. Lovely.)

I went back to my seat, told him I’m getting an uber, goodbye. He tried to beg me to stay, loudly and embarrassingly, so others could hear (hoping I’d get so embarrassed I’d go home with him I guess?) and even pretended it was his birthday and yelled to the bar that he was protecting me by taking me home because “taxi drivers can be rapists.”

I told him that I was going home; he loudly asked for a hug and tried to grab my boobs.