11. A great guy

This guy I met online was half an hour late for the date. The first thing he said to me was: “You’re too tall. You’re taller than me.” I’m 5’5, and I was wearing flats – nowhere on his profile was his height listed, never mentioned anything about it. He said he’d buy me a drink for being late, so I figured I’d get a beer out of it.

We chatted for a bit about our jobs and school and whatever. I check the time, and realize I have to catch my bus back home – I lived in the suburbs with my parents at this point. He says “Okay, I’m coming with you.”

“Uh, no.”

“Well, I guess you can come back to my place. My roommate is there though.”

“I’m not coming home with you.”

“I bought you a drink! You owe me! …Whatever. You’re not even that hot.”

“I am not going to sleep with you. I’m going home.”

He just stalks off in the opposite direction. Then, amazingly, I get a message from him later.

“Look, I’m sorry. You’re a great girl and I enjoyed our time together. But this just isn’t going to work out.”

Um, yeah. I thought that was obvious.

I came across this dude on another dating site later. His profile was a picture of his abs; his secondary pic was him ‘sexting’ with a girl. “So you know I can satisfy the ladies.”

Good luck with that pal.