Funerals are times and places to remember our loved ones, friends and family, for a final time. Someone has died, which is supposed to be a naturally sobering event, but I guess sometimes it’s…not?
At least, that’s the takeaway from these 13 stories, about some really appalling human behavior.
13. Toxic masculinity at its finest.
My uncle died and at his funeral my cousin (his son) was crying. Some old timer uncle came up to him and said “stop crying you’re a man you’re embarrassing us”.
I never wanted to slap someone at a funeral more than at that moment.
12. It’s ok to cut out family like this.
My nan told my dad at his own father’s funeral that her pain was much greater because she had lost a husband, while he had only lost his dad. As if grief is a competition.
She is a shitty person anyway, and not even blood related to us so we just kinda don’t associate anymore
11. I have no idea how to feel about this.
My minister once told a story. He was waiting in a room off the sanctuary before the funeral when he heard scuffling noises. When he went to investigate, the brother and sister of the deceased had pulled the body out of the casket and propped it between them.
They explained that they didn’t have a recent photo of the three of them and were delighted he showed up to take the picture.
10. Of course he did.
My grandpa died.
His son (my uncle) went around asking for money to give to his now widowed mother.
He collected around $500 USD worth of donations from family, friends etc. he pocketed it, and my grandma didn’t receive shit
9. Bless her heart.
A friend of the family with a notorious drinking problem showed up to the visitation and service extremely intoxicated.
She is not a sad drunk; she is a happy, huggy drunk so she went around sloppily hugging everyone – even people she didn’t know.
She slurred introductions and condolences to everyone for about an hour then tripped over a settee in one of the sitting rooms of the funeral home and face planted.
8. Talk about immature.
Not seen but experienced.
My cousin’s wife was kicking the back of my chair at my grandad’s funeral. Also carrying on a conversation with my sister (who was supposedly really sad) the whole way through the service.
For context, I was 14 and my cousin’s wife was in her mid to late 30’s.
7. “And that’s the story of how I became possessed.”
My uncle was cremated. He lived across from a lake and it was decided that we wanted his ashes spread on this little island on this lake. I was tasked with swimming with the urn from the boat to the island, holding it out of the water.
I then stood at the edge of a small cliff with my nephew’s beside me and all the family watching in the boat. I opened the urn to dump his ashes over the cliff. We all say a few things, and as I go to dump the ashes, the wind picks up and blows the ashes all over my wet body. One of the worst things that ever happened to me.
6. I guess she was only there for the food.
At my grandfather’s funeral one of the choir members essentially threw a tantrum and ended up interrupting one of my uncles who was giving a speech just because she wasn’t given any food.
The thing is there wasn’t any food at the funeral to begin with.
5. I am cringing for everyone involved.
After the eulogist had talked for 45 minutes, the pastor went over to the lectern and politely asked him to conclude his eulogy.
The guy boldly told the pastor, “I’ll stop when I’m damn good and ready!” (and proceeded talking for about 20 more minutes.)
The total funeral church service lasted for 2 3/4 hours – it seemed endless.
4. She probably wasn’t the only one thinking it.
My Gran’s sister died recently and they were holding a service at my aunt’s house before the burial.
My Gran, closing in on 90, deaf as a post and suffering from vascular dementia, lost patience with the Celebrant as she was about half way through the reading and loudly announces “Oh, will she no just bloody shut up?!” at the top of her voice.
My poor mum was completely mortified, although the rest of the family was very understanding.
Luckily, no one returned the “favour” at my Gran’s service the following year!
3. I don’t condone violence, but…
My cousin died at 14 years old from taking a dodgy ecstasy pill at a party. At her funeral another cousin’s boyfriend then proceeded to try and sell drugs. At her funeral.
Last I heard her dad found him and he and his friends kicked the guy’s teeth in.
2. Well I guess we know how she felt.
My Mother in Law took a photo of a wine glass during the lunch we had after, and she posted it on Facebook. Guess what her caption was?
“Life is Grand.”
It was my mother’s funeral.
1. This is awful anytime.
Not at a funeral but at my auntie’s wake, a dude approached my little sister and hit on her. She was 12 years old.
I have no idea what’s wrong with people, y’all.
Have you ever seen something like this? Tell us about it in the comments!
