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“They’re young! They don’t know what they’re doing!”
How many times did you hear that when you were a kid when you did something really dumb…even though you knew EXACTLY what you were up to?
We all had to play dumb at some point, because if we admitted we knew what was up, our parents would REALLY let us have it.
Do you remember these incidents from your childhood?
Let’s dig into these funny stories from folks on AskReddit.
1. Stealing money.
“The First 2 years of elementary school I had to take the public bus two times a week to get to my school. So my Mum gave me money for the Ticket each morning I needed it.
What she didn’t know, I never once bought a Ticket and kept all the money. Two times I got caught, but pretended I didn’t even know how to buy one and they let me go, because I was so young.”
2. Thief!
“I stole a ball from a thrift store. I said I thought it was just someone’s lost ball since it was obviously not a brand new item in a store.
However I fully understood the concept of a thrift store.”
3. I saw it on TV.
“I was one of those kids who was smart but had very little common sense, so doing these types of things was not unusual for me.
I was in pop warner (think kids from 10-13) football and I absolutely hated our assistant coach. He was the quarterback’s dad and a complete asshole to me – was the center, i.e. the lineman who hikes the ball to the quarterback.
Every time something went wrong it was my fault, always making me run laps, picking on me for having a squeaky voice and being overweight. With the benefit of hindsight, I have no idea what was wrong with this guy to be so shitty to a kid.
Anyway, we went to the playoffs but lost our last game to a much better team. I had seen people dump Gatorade on to the coach on TV and thought – fuck it. Now is my chance. He was wearing a white polo with khakis and I dumped a whole jug of red kool-aid on him. I smiled and shouted “Great season coach!”
He was pissed but completely shocked too. My dad ran up quietly but sternly asking “what are you dooooooing?” and I just said that I saw people do it on TV. The coach laughed and shook his head. He patted me on the shoulder and said “people really only do that when you win, but I understand how you got confused.”
The whole team went to dinner after that. Dude had to spend the rest of his evening in sticky pink clothes. It was the first time I ever felt like I got away with anything.”
4. Tricked!
“My parents had weird schedules so for school, my mum usually packed my lunch in the evening and my dad would give me lunch money in the morning not knowing that I already had lunch packed.
I continued that scam for a couple of months until I had enough money to buy a Wii which is when my parents noticed that they’ve been tricked by a seven year old but of course they didn’t think I did it on purpose”
5. How cute…
“My grandfather was always grumpy and didn’t like kids.
So as he climbed the stairs, I’d pinch him on the butt with a pair of dad’s needle-nose pliers.
He’d yell, “Drag your ass on outta here, ya damn lil kid!” But Mom would smile and say, “He’s just being cute.””
6. The black market.
“One time, I became a black market candy shop owner at school, of course my parents thought I didn’t know better, but I had a whole business plan.
Eventually I made $400 bucks and my parents realized that I was becoming some sort of weird hustler that knew too much financially. I lost the touch as I got older though.”
7. Feel bad about it now.
“I guess stealing money from my dad so I can buy happy meals and get the toys in them.
Poor dad barely even had money back then to support us, kinda feel like shit now.”
8. Show ’em the moon.
I’d just watched some funny movie where there was a mooning joke. So there I am, in the backseat of my mom’s car.
We’re going to meet up with the rest of the family for dinner at Sizzlers and there’s remnants of the rush hour traffic, lo and behold my idiot 7 year old self thinks it would be funny to moon someone in slow traffic.
My victim followed my mom off the highway, to the Sizzler and approached her when she got out of the car ‘DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON JUST DID?!?!’ to which my mom told the lady to lighten up and told her to get lost.”
9. Oops!
“My granddad lived with us when I was growing up and he was really a very mean spirited man and talked awful to most everyone including my sister and me.
Once his brother who lived a few states away parked his RV in our yard for a few months and one time I overheard my granddad say he wished he’d move that ugly thing out of our yard. Well when his brother came to visit I repeated this in front of both my granddad and my great-uncle and it embarrassed my granddad so bad.
I left the room acting like I was just being a kid who accidentally let something slip but I knew what I was doing the whole time.”
10. Poor dog.
“When I was really young my cousin was my neighbor and they would leave their giant dog outside so he could run in the woods and enjoy the yard while they were out.
Me being 6 and just given the new found power of leaving my yard to go to my cousins as long as I didn’t cross the road. Long story short cousin and family wasn’t home I went over painted their black dog with white paint and they blamed my older cousin for doing it.
Literally 2 years ago reconnected with my cousin after years as we were smoking a doobie he mentioned the incident i admitted to it and he started laughing and telling me how they always mention him painting the dog.”
11. Peep show.
“In Greece when I was little we didn’t have a proper shower and bathroom. We had an outhouse and would shower outside in the yard with a curtain and hose.
Common for the island I’m from at the time. All the neighbors would would do the same thing. I used to climb to the top of the house and watch the ladies showering.
I was maybe 4-5 years old. I knew what was up.”
12. Starting young.
“I used to sell weed for a local distributor when I was 10 .
The money was good and I managed to make a girlfriend using that money (buying her candies and stuff). But my uncle caught me red handed and I said I was selling coriander leaves.
Both my dad and uncle thought local boys didn’t tell me it was drug and I was too young to understand it wasn’t.”
13. I already knew.
“When I was 10 years old my parents pulled me aside one day and decided to break the news to me that Santa wasn’t real and they were the ones that bought me the presents under the tree each Christmas.
They held off as long as they could to tell me and thought that I was old enough to know the truth. I could tell it was so hard for them because they thought they were breaking a kid’s heart. The thing is that I knew that for a couple of years already, I just kept pretending because I liked getting presents.”
14. What a great kid!
“I was on a trampoline, and my older brother kept pushing me whenever I tried to stand up. He repeatedly did this about 7 times, he pushed me all the way to the springs, I tried to stand up again, and he pushed me off the trampoline.
Because of the way he pushed me, I was falling head first, so I reached above my head to protect my head from the impact. I broke my fall with my arm, and I broke my arm with my fall.
Compound fracture, bone pierced the skin (it popped back in immediately after stabbing my skin, so I never got to see the bone).
He told our parents that I was about to fall off the trampoline, and he tried to catch me but he accidentally pushed me. And my parents thought, “he tried his best, but he’s just a kid, so at least he tried to catch him.””
Hahaha. You little rascals!
So, how about you?
What is something you got away with as a kid even though you knew EXACTLY what you were doing?
Tell us all about it in the comments, please!
