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If you’re sick with any kind of chronic illness, chances are you’re tired of pretty much everyone who finds out about it having an opinion about what you should try next.
This definitely applies to people with mental illnesses like depression, because it seems as if everyone has an idea about how people can just “get over it” or that a cure is somehow mind over matter.
If you’ve got a friend or a loved one who suffers from depression, here are 14 things you definitely shouldn’t say.
14. Just do something.
The worst advice was: if you have time for depression, you have nothing to do. Get more work, clean your house.
in our youth we worked 6 days a week and helped our parents on weekends
13. Worst advice in general.
“be a man” is literally one of the worst advices. looking at how many men suffer from undiagnosed mental illness breaking them because they’re expected to bottle it up – and it’s weird, because who is insisting this rule? no man can be okay with this situation, and women usually won’t mind if you admit to hurting or what you feel, the opposite actually
don’t be scared – the few people who really don’t understand are crap, and it’s better to live with your cards on the table than having them going round and around in your head constantly
12. That makes no sense.
“Just go outside and talk with us”. Then completely ignore me when I try to talk to them.
11. These all make my blood boil.
“Man up and get over it!” “If you were really depressed, you would’ve killed yourself already.” “You’ll grow out of it.” (First said when I was 16, 11 years later and I still feel the same).
And my personal favourite; “What have you got to be depressed about?” (Not exactly advice, but a common response)
10. It’s not an easy fix.
“If you’re tired all the time, go to bed earlier.” I’m tired because I have depression. Going to bed earlier won’t fix that.
There are some days where I want to sleep all day so sleeping more is not what I need at all.
9. You actually just need to listen.
The ‘what have you got to be depressed about?’ Hit me. I was really depressed as a young teen and the only person who took it seriously was my teacher. He was ultimately the one who saved my life.
I thought he was awful for making me tell my parents, but that eventually got me into therapy, which eventually got me on meds, and now 4 years later I’m not taking any meds now.
I’m still depressed, I probably always will have episodes of it, but I’m glad that my teacher actually listened to me and noticed what was happening.
8. Maybe not that.
Listen to your inner voice.
My inner voice said to shoot the therapist
7. Trust me, they’ve considered it.
“You should try to be more positive!”
Why, that’s brilliant. I had never considered the idea that I could just be more positive and poof, everything would be better. But this advice did get me to realize that I am responsible for my own wellbeing.
I can ask for help but ultimately, it’s on me to work on my issues.
6. That’s not how this works.
My dad told me if I prayed God would take it away, along with my lupus and other crippling health issues.
I have no issue with people practicing religion, but I get really angry when people let religion obscure their judgement of real life.
5. That magical fresh air.
Just go outside You’re only _____ years old you have nothing to be depressed about I think you’re just overreacting.
4. Not all the stretches in the world.
“Have u tried yoga” Is the most common lol. I hate yoga people, they think it can cure anything. Yes Yogi Sue, I’ve tried stretching and breathing, I still wanna die.
But I think the worst is actually my dad’s catch phrase “well you just gotta get over that”
HOW FATHER, PLEASE TELL ME HOW BC “JUST DO IT” DOES NOT EXPLAIN.
3. Yes, and?
“At least your not in a 3rd world country”
Gee, thanks! Can I go take my antidepressants now?
2. It’s a small fix for a big problem.
The Dutch minister of education once said that students who were depressed or at the edge of burn out should just go outside and go for walks…
I hate when people say this. Going outside and going for walks can help depression. However, it is like giving a bucket of water to someone whose house is engulfed in flames. It can work once your depression is in a bit more control and help head off the next episode.
When you are struggling to get out of bed, it won’t do much.
1. Time for a new therapist.
I was told to pray the depression away. By my therapist.
Just totally erase these phrases from your vocabulary, yeah?
If you’re someone who suffers, what else do you want people to stop saying? If it’s missing from this list, drop it in the comments!
