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Many people have never actually been in a fight (this writer included), and if you’re as inexperienced as I am, there’s a good chance that – even if you believe you could handle you’re business – you’d probably make some pretty rookie mistakes the first time around.
In the interest of surviving the coming apocalypse (zombie or otherwise), here are some things that rookies often do wrong – just in case you find yourself facing fisticuffs in the future.
15. Keep your hands up.
Every fight video I see people are just throwing haymakers and it looks like their arms are noodles. Keeping your hands up and throwing a few quick jabs usually takes care of those idiots.
14. Have a strategy.
From what I’ve noticed most people that have not had any training just throw as many punches as fast as they can hoping some of them will connect instead of having any sort of strategy
13. Most people think they can.
Think that they can fight.
Most people think they can — they can’t.
12. An amate*r would fail every time.
Do something fancy they saw on last night’s MMA fight. If even trained fighters have trouble landing that cool looking spinning back kick or flying triangle every time without fail, then an amate*r would fail every time. Also, remember to keep your chin down, hands up to protect your head and remember that you have hips and legs.
11. Mostly.
Mostly the “in a fight” part. But also the lesser-known “The other guy knew a fight had begun, but somehow I did not until I was already knocked out” method. And then there’s the timeless classic: “I mean I never threw a punch in my life, but I lift a little and look how buff I am, where this other kid’s small and wiry af. Easy win” maneuver.
10. It ain’t even close.
I was a bouncer for roughly five years during my college and law school days.
The number one biggest mistake people make, and it ain’t even close, is getting liquored up first. Reaction time is everything and those tenths of a second (or more) you’re losing are catastrophic.
9. Fight on the grass.
Usually one, clean, solid punch to the jaw will end the fight very quickly. It would be recommended if you both are staying on grass or something because knocking out the other guy and him hitting his head on concrete and dying is not something you want to do.
8. A decent hit to the throat.
The guy is going to be throwing haymakers so you need to avoid being hit in important areas like the head, throat and gut. While he’s flailing around you just need to give him a few good jabs up the middle because his arms are flailing to the sides and leaving his middle wide open. A decent hit to the throat will end the fight quicker than you think.
7. You’ll get gassed.
Control breathing. You’d be surprised how quickly you’ll get gassed. Solid way to get yourself ko’d
6. You never know.
Underestimate their opponent by just looking at their size. Look at Johnny vs Daniel-son. Or look at skinny mma fighters and see them in Street clothes. You never know what kind of experience/training they have under the hood.
5. Don’t go crazy.
Try to go crazy and expend lots of energy when not needed to.
4. Lethal street fighting.
Just watch Bas Rutten’s video “Lethal Street Fighting.” It’s outrageously funny, and some of the things he teaches are not wrong. It covers pretty much everything mentioned here, plus a few weird ones like bouncing a guy’s head off the “ambiance” (tables, chairs, walls) and playing “hide the hot sauce bottle” once your opponent is unconscious.
But there’s also serious stuff.
3. Wait for commitment.
90% of the moves I was taught in the dojo begin with the opponent taking a lunging punch. There is so much more to do with a person if they fully commit to a punch than if they throw conservative jabs while keeping their guard up.
2. It’s hard for me to say that’s wrong.
I’ve seen a lot of fights, and been in more than a few. The loser almost always loses because they don’t actually want to hurt the other person, though it’s real hard for me to say that’s wrong.
1. The worst:
Throw hammer fist slap punches
Not lock the wrist properly
Connect with the pinky side of the fist instead of the pointer
hold their arms outstretched at their sides while talking nonsense
Stick their chin out while talking nonsense
Fail to use their elbows, knees, and kicks
Not keep an eye out for secondary threats
Not remain in control of their emotions
Stop before the threat is stopped
watch the opponents eyes as opposed to their hands
Talk to the police without a lawyer present afterwards
Edit: Since this is getting some attention:
Fail to use their hips and their legs to power their punches
Understand basic human anatomy and target the weak points (neck, knees, throat, temple, and etc)
remain stationary as opposed to moving around
only throw punches and disregard chops, strikes, and pressure points
have no understanding of greco-roman wresting or bjj if the fight goes to the ground
not improvise any available object as a weapon for reasons of honor or fairness
reason with an inebriated or enraged attacker
turn their back to an active threat
ask bystanders for help (google bystander effect)
escalate to attempt to establish dominance/social standing
NOT EXITING THE SECOND THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTS ITSELF
CONTINUING AFTER A FIGHT IS OVER
edit II:
I want to be clear that avoiding a fight is the best policy, and every comment above and below me that stated such deserves your upvotes. I may have answered the question best in technical terms, but they are far more correct.
Godspeed, my friends.
