It can take way too long for people to mature enough to realize their own self worth. Most of us have so many insecurities while growing up, and they can linger into young adulthood far longer than we would like.
If we’re lucky, we learn how to value ourselves before any lasting and permanent damage is done – and these 15 people definitely realized it was time to let everyone know they deserved better.
15. And they’re not sorry.
I resigned from teaching after 15 years, but well before my retirement age or package would hit.
The American dream, a middle class income, is now between 80k-150k. That is what you truly need to own a home, own a car, and feed some kids without living in either the middle of nowhere or forgoing a retirement. After 15 years, my salary schedule had not yet hit a middle class income level. Goodbye. I won’t miss you.
14. Their issues aren’t an excuse to treat you poorly.
I used to make up excuses on people’s behalf too much. I thought I was being understanding, or like “everyone has their bad days”, “maybe it was because of their own trauma…” That kind of stuff.
In my late 20s or so I realized I actually had and still have things harder than most people around me. Including the people who have been judgmental and disrespectfully pushy towards me. Since then I’ve been using the reverse version and check how they treat me.
I still think people’s misbehavior might be coming from their own issues but now I remove myself from the situation.
13. That will make you rage.
Vacuuming around my husband as he played video games without even acknowledging my presence.
12. Don’t make excuses for people who wouldn’t make them for you.
I’ve done this so much my entire life, to the point where I got caught in a few very abusive relationships.
Since then I learned that it’s called codependence and it’s not a healthy thing. Unfortunately it’s how a lot of us are taught to behave from early childhood, especially in an abusive household or with parents who are also codependent.
Now if I catch myself wanting to make excuses for someone I ask myself 2 questions:
1- is this actually toxic behaviour that I’m trying to explain away because I feel like I need to make people understand this person isn’t “all bad”? (That’s enabling, I need to not do that)
2- is this a harmless behaviour that I’m assuming to be bad because I was needlessly shamed for it? I need to address where that comes from and evaluate if this belief actually aligns with my own core values or not.
11. There are happy endings out there.
When it got to the point that I was counting down the days until his business trips because it was easier (only mine and the baby’s messes!) and less stressful (no being manhandled at 3:00am because he was horny and didn’t realize or care how much sleep I needed!), I started planning the divorce.
Happy ending: Ten years later, I’m married to a wonderful man who both does housework and thanks me for doing it. All sex is consensual and appreciated. And the “baby” is a teenager who can clean up his own messes.
10. Totally messed up.
When I accidentally stumbled onto messages on my boyfriend’s chat with his friends on his laptop.
They go through different girls that I know personally and talk about how hot they were and how they’d **** her, etc.
I was so disappointed. I spent a decade being with this guy and never thought he had that side to him. I ended it the same day and tbh it felt liberating being single after.
9. Check in with yourself.
I got in the habit of regularly asking myself “am I happy/enjoying this” Then if the answer is a reoccurring no, I dig down into reasons why.
It requires being brutally honest with myself and not trying to justify things or make excuses. Sometimes things just need a little adjusting to make them enjoyable again, others completely stopping.
I apply this to relationships, jobs, friends, living situations, everything. So far it’s served me well!
8. That’s not how life works.
When my ex and I were talking about the future and right afterwards I asked so how much do we have to save up to afford our dreams. He told me, “I’m a vibes guy, let’s just chill and live life”… I knew that I was done for.
Also, him bragging about having no goals and thinking school is crap.
7. Be kind with yourself.
Honestly, look at how you really spend your time. Whatever it is that you’re doing with the majority of your free time, regardless of what it is, is what you’re actually prioritizing in life.
For me, an extra plate of chips and salsa is worth more to me than losing a pant size. Do I resent that choice when I’m pants shopping? Sometimes, yeah. But it sure as shit seems like I choose the chips over that feeling every time, so clearly that’s what I’m prioritizing in my life.
I have a mantra: whatever you’re not changing, you’re choosing.
It can be a hard truth to face sometimes, but once I stopped lying to myself I found a lot more peace.
6. Vibe and chill.
I cut loose a couple of friendships for the same reason. I kept getting the whole “we are best friends for life!” talk and then I would be there for them, but they wouldn’t be there for me. When I finally asked them what being best friends meant to them, they would say, “Wow, why do you have to be so needy? Can’t we just vibe and chill and that be enough?”
‘Vibe and chill’ to me is now code for ‘I have the emotional intelligence of a bowl of dog food.’
5. She knew.
When an acquaintance said to me “I met your boyfriend last weekend, you can do better.” and without thinking I blurted out “I know.”
I broke up with him a few days later.
4. Everyone is worth more than that.
My (now ex-) husband was very drunk and I was trying to help him back to our hotel, which required some walking and a trip on the subway. As we were about to cross a street, I held him back because he was about to just barrel across without looking and silly me did not want him to get hit by a car at that point in our relationship.
He turned back to me, wrenched his hand out of my hand, and with a look of pure hate said, “Why do you always have to be such a c**t?”
We’d been having problems, but I decided at that point that I was worth more than that. Everyone is worth more than that.
3. The power of (self) love.
When I realized that my self worth was being defined by how my ex treated me. I had no idea that I have the power to love myself first. I’ve come a long way, and there’s plenty of room to grow!
I’m looking back now at our relationship and wondering how could I let myself put up with all he’s done and how he treated me.
I considered him the man of my dream, he told me over and over again how no one would ever love me like he did, and I believed him.
Well guess what, I today love myself a hundred times more than he did, and God it feels good!
2. They will notice now.
When I wasn’t appreciated for any of the work I was doing at my job but those who slacked off got praised for the simplest task and rewarded when I got bi*%hed at.
I had enough and was so frustrated I didn’t even give a 2 week notice, I said if they can’t appreciate my time and hard work they don’t deserve a notice.
And they sure as heck noticed how much I did when I was gone!
1. When there is broken trust.
When my boyfriend broke my trust to the point where I wasn’t even attracted to him anymore.
I literally started thinking about other guys and decided the same day I had that thought to dip.
I know I’m a fiercely loyal person so I knew something was definitely really wrong with the relationship to make me feel that way.
I’m cheering silently at my desk right now, y’all.
What’s your favorite story about standing up for yourself? Let us pat you on the back in the comments!
