Right now I’m pretty lucky because my next door neighbors are all very nice and normal. But that hasn’t always been the case…
And I’m sure most of you can relate to that. I’ve had some doozies in the past…the kind you sneak by when they’re sitting on their front porch so you don’t have to deal with them and their craziness.
In this article, AskReddit users share stories about the weird, crazy neighbors they’ve had to deal with.
1. Weird, but good
“My wife and I live in a large apartment complex in Chicago. I am not sure which apartment this guy actually lives in, but I always see him zooming out of the courtyard. We call him Future Man.
Future Man does not speak or walk or try to fit into society in anyway. He is easily 6’7 and weights at least 275 pounds. He wears sunglasses at night and I’ve never seen him actually walk. He rides everywhere on one of those two wheeled hover board thingies and at night straps rope lights to his torso that flash incredibly bright red and green light. Sometimes he also has a little Bluetooth speaker clipped to his backpack that blasts some pretty solid 80s/90s hip hop. He does not slow down. He drives it mostly on the road and does not observe such things as stop signs or stop lights.
We have lived in this apartment complex for 5 years and just two weeks ago he acknowledged me for the first time. He simply gave me a head nod and put his hand into a fist as if to say “you’re okay with me.” He said nothing in actuality but I’m still beaming from the experience. He’s my favorite neighbor, but he is weird.”
2. Maybe he’s not getting fed at home?
“My neighbor’s kid stands on our shared fence and chews it.”
3. Crosswords
“So I had a neighbor (80yo or more) widowed guy.
Every time I get the newspaper delivered to my mail box, when I open it : I find the crosswords done (I don’t do them or give a damn). One day I decided to try catch who’s doing my crosswords, day 1 : 8 am, they where already done. Day 2 : 7:30 am already done. Day 3 : 7am I decide to give up.
One day, 4am, I was getting back home from a night out, while I was passing by the mailbox ; nothing yet delivered, so I place my GoPro inside and went sleeping, the next day ; FINALLY GOT IT, it was my neighbor, he has done the crosswords right up on my mailbox, for like 10min (I will try to find the video, but it was absolutely cute, staring at my door time to time, and scratching his head). Next day ; I took him a 1000 crosswords book, drop it right his door, rang the bell and stayed on my car discretely. He took some time to open the door, then found it, I swear it was the happiest person like a kid that got a puppy. He stayed in his porch and passed like 2 hours doing crosswords then felt asleep lol.
The next day : I was getting back home from work, he came to apologize (like a kid that has to confess something) and brought some cookies. We stayed talking about his WW2 service and how the world changed. I frequently bought him crosswords books, until he passed away 1 year ago..
May he Rest In Peace ?”
4. Airbnb
“My neighbors have a tent in their backyard. the tent is listed on air bnb. Wisconsin. It’s sadly gone now and I can’t find the photo. I would post it and ask any stalkers use the side door if they come to murder me. But if I find it I’ll post it.
It’s damn near winter here so it must not have been an all season Coleman tent.”
5. “Real nutters”
“Growing up we had some really crazy neighbors that lived across the road from us. The parents were real nutters and abusive to their kids. They would regularly lock their children out the front of their house and lock the front gate so they couldn’t leave with nothing but 1glass of water. Now this is outback Australia where temperatures would regularly reach 40-45 degrees the kids would be screaming and crying out the front. Police would get called they’d come. Kids would go back inside then get put back out once they’d left.
The mother would also come out the front of the house when my Mum would be farewelling or greeting people and start yelling “MRS COLLO89 WHY WONT YOU BE MY FRIEND?!??! I KNOW YOU THINK IM CRAZY. PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!”
A few years ago I heard the mother had been committed to a psychiatric hospital, husband remarried and kids have nothing to do with them now.”
6. Rude neighbors
“My next door neighbors keep using our stuff. They’ve been caught with their hose attached to our water, taking our outdoor chairs etc. They also have no problem honking their car horn repeatedly at any time of day or night when someone isn’t getting out of the house fast enough.”
7. Daily routine
“So he has a truck and a car, both kind of old and beat up. Every day he switches their parking places, and every day he leaves the car running, opens the hood and just stares at the engine for about an hour. He’ll step back for a smoke break, eyes still hard on the running engine from afar. Sometimes he’ll sit in the driver’s seat and listen to the one tape he has left apparently, and it’s Sheryl Crow. Every. Single. Day.”
8. An odd choice
“Oh I just remembered, I also have a neighbor that collects PT Cruisers. He’s got at least 6 of them and washes them all the time. Seems like a weird car to collect. They aren’t vintage or anything.”
9. Ugh
“Across the street neighbor feeds the stray cats outside. After he empties the food on their plate, he runs his fingers inside of the can and licks the remaining cat food off his fingers.”
10. The fence
“We built a fence on our property line (a few feet into ours actually) and the night it was finished I hear banging outside. I go to the sunroom we have downstairs and see a headlamp moving back and forth quickly. I go outside and see my neighbor throwing lead pipes into our fence screaming, “Can you see me now” and kept repeating that over and over again. Soon after he spots me and runs back inside.”
11. Just in case…
“A friend of mine has a neighbor who sometimes walks around in a gas mask. No one can confirm who he is.”
12. That’s one way to do it
“Not my neighbor but a friends.
Lady use to put her car in neutral and push it down the drive way because she said it “saved her $$ on gas”
Same lady would also get on her hands and knees and trim her yard with scissors after the lawn care company was done.”
13. Let him do it
“My neighbor secretly does my yard work.
He’s a very reserved man in his fifties, and my fiancé and I are in our mid/late twenties. Our neighbor never talks to us, and will frantically avoid conversation with other people. He blows the leaves in his yard every single day, even during summer. He also waxes his car once a week. If there’s a storm, the next day he’ll walk around his yard picking up twigs that have broken off of trees until his yard is perfectly clear of twigs. I should mention we live in a forest and both of our yards are at least an acre or so with dozens of trees.
The yard obsession doesn’t end with his property line though. At least once a month I’ll come home and our yard is magically groomed: the leaves have been blown (even if we just blew the leaves a few days prior), our gravel driveway has been sprayed for weeds, our tiny section of grass has been mowed, etc. We take care of our yard, I have flower beds I maintain, and we do a big “yard maintenance day” once a month. but it doesn’t come close to our neighbor’s yard maintenance. I’ve even caught him in our yard a couple of times and he just hustles out without saying a word. We have a picket fence around our acre lot, so it makes him silently leaving our yard just a little awkward since he has to walk all the way up to the gate.
I’ve tried to thank him multiple times, but the last time I brought him cookies as a thank you for blowing our leaves he would only open the door a crack, took the cookie tin, dumped the cookies into his hand, handed me back the tin, and quickly shut the door. Now I just leave thank you cards in his mail box.
I’m guessing he’s either bored, has an obsession with yard maintenance, or is just trying to be nice to the young couple next door but really hates social interaction.”
14. She’s doing just fine
“I had a neighbor (alcoholic/druggie) who thought there were two women living in my house; I had dyed my hair blonde from brunette. He continually asked where the brunette was and how she was doing. I finally just said she was fine.”
15. Obsessed with mom
“My parents have a neighbor that is obsessed with my mom. It was innocent enough at first he was just nice and theyd have small conversations. They became friendly and we would invite him over for bbqs and everything. Then he started to get creepy. Every single time my mom would take the dog out he would appear outside and want to talk her. He would find an excuse to come knock on our door every single day.
He got the same haircut and grew the same goatee as my dad and started to dress like my dad. He then went and bought the exact same type of motorcycle as my dad. He started showing up at my moms work bringing her lunch and flowers. Thats when my dad had to confront him and it almost became physical. He has mostly stayed away since then.”
