The human body is amazing!

It’s also really weird.

Stuff oozes out of it.

Other gross things stay inside it.

And that’s just the normal ones.

Check these 16 true tales out:

#1.

My eyeballs are the wrong shape.

They’re shaped like cow eyeballs, or so my optician tells me.

It means I’ve been short-sighted since birth and have worn glasses since I was 18 months old, and it’s not something that can be repaired by laser corrective surgery.

#2.

I have a perfectly smooth, mushroom-shaped, skin-colored mole on the side of my head, and I’ve had it since birth.

My mom says it looks like a penis.

You know, nice stuff that moms say.

#3.

I have two pee-holes.

They’re right next to each other, and pee comes out of both

#4.

My belly button is about a half inch off center.

When I was pregnant with my son it decided to migrate…. further.

By the time I had him, it was all the way on the left side of my belly.

At my last ultrasound there was a med student present. He was fascinated and asked the doc what that’s called.

He lowered his glasses, raised his brows, took a good long look and said, “Weird as shit.”

#5.

I have Poland Syndrome which means I was born without a left pectoral muscle.

I found out when I was 25 and mentioned to my dad that my left hand seemed slightly smaller than my right.

His response: “The whole left side should be smaller because you have Stockholm Syndrome.”

After some confusion, explanation, and googling; I figured out what he meant.

My parents have known since before I was born, (it showed up on the ultrasound), and insist they told me.

I assume that conversation took place before I knew what muscles were, as I’m sure I would have remembered it if I had understood what they were saying.

I’m also allergic to my own sweat, which is much more annoying.

#6.

I have comically over-sized testicles.

I only found this out a few years ago when I started dating my current girlfriend.

Nobody ever said anything before that.

Now, everybody who sees them comments on this.