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18 First Date Stories…From the Waiter’s Perspective

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14. Other options

Served a couple a few months ago. Everytime I walked over, he would always be the one talking, and she would just be sitting there not having a good time. At the end I asked if it was one bill or separate and she immediately piped up “SEPERATE”. I go and take his payment, and as I hand over the Debit machine to the girl, I see the guy take his phone out and start swiping through tinder.

15. “douchenozzle”

I was waiting on a couple once, had to be a first date. The guy was constantly rude to me, and the girl was very apologetic. He asked for a well done filet mignon, when I started to advise him that it would be burnt as such and to ask if he’d like it butterflied, he he flipped his lid yelling “you don’t tell me how I like my steak!”

She got up, pulled out a $20, handed it to me, and walked out without a word. He shouted after her to come back, didn’t even get up til she was out the front door though. What a douchenozzle.

16. Hot stuff baby

I worked in a restaurant that had a huge selection (150+) of hot sauces. We sold them by the bottle but customers could sample any of them and use them on their food. A couple came in, the guy started bragging about how much he loved hot sauce and how he never found one that was too hot. He asked for the hottest one we have. I brought the bottle to his table, he filled a spoon with the sauce and made a big production of how he was going to eat it. I told him not to, the hostess told him not to, the waitress serving the next table told him not to… he put it in his mouth, started choking and gagging, puked on the table then passed out and did a faceplant right into the puke!! We called 911. He woke up right away and kept gagging for a while. He refused treatment when the paramedics showed up. They left without even ordering a meal! The girl told one of the restaurant staff that it was their first date.

17. Vanishing act

Late to the party here but I was bartending in NY and watched this couple that had met on Tinder have their first date sitting at my bar. The girl was a complete weirdo. Kept bringing up the fact that the dude she was with could be a psychopath and could murdwr her (he had given no indication of this) and went on tinder while he was still sitting beside her at the bar. Kept telling him he was lucky that she agreed to meet him at all and she didn’t think he’d be this boring. She ordered about 5 or 6 LITs and several shots, he literally just had 2 beers. She made him pay for everything. My favourite part of this was that he excused himself to go to the bathroom and left through the fire escape. Absolutely brilliant. To be clear, there was only one official entrance and exit. This dude escaped out the back and she went searching for him. Straight up thought he had disapparated out of the bar.

18. Hope it wasn’t the second date

This lady came in for lunch and let me know she was waiting for someone. When her lunch date got there I took his drink order, grabbed his coke and brought it to the table. As I’m placing it down I see a positive pregnancy test in a Ziploc on the table in front of the dude. Her excited face, his shocked, semi-disgusted but trying to look happy face, my WTF face. Awkward level went up 100%. I murmured something about congratulations and left the table as fast as I could.

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