People can be…bad. There’s not really any other way to say it. Sometimes they do bad things for good reasons, and other times…not so much. This list has a little of both. To be real for a second – some of these AskReddit stories are legitimately shocking. I guess I just prefer to think well of humanity, but this list…well, it gave me second thoughts. You’ve been warned:

1. A “well written and very detailed” revenge

Back in 2002, I was in a car accident and was in the hospital for some time. My gf ended up cheating on me while I was in there with some Cook from a restaurant who dealt drugs on the side.

Screw her, I was glad she was gone, who wants someone like that in their life. I was beginning to move on, but this asshole would call me occasionally bragging that he took her from under me. I didn’t get it. I started to get more mad at him then her.

I found out his email address and was able to get his secret question with some research.

I got into his email and found a picture of him and a good buddy I guess with their arms around each other posing for a picture. Since I was already on bedrest due to the car accident, I took my time did some research digging through his old emails about this friend and other life stuff.

I then spent the day writing a very long and detailed message about him being a homosexual, and how he was coming out of the closet, and he was madly in love with said friend from picture and they were going to get married and try to adopt children etc.

It was really well written and very detailed.

I then send the email out to everyone in his address book and everyone that had ever sent him an email. Golden I thought.

..But it got even better.

Not only was his friend not gay, but he was engaged, and the fiancee did not like this at all, I guess it caused quite a shit storm, because the fiancee thought these guys spent too much time together anyways.
..but it got even better, (or worse).

Apparently the dickhead’s mother about 10 years ago, gave herself to god and became a nun. So you can imagine her reaction when her little angel, was doing this horrible sin. (I made references to them being lovers for years in the letter.)
Needless to say, it caused a giant shit storm with everyone in his life.

It was pretty evil, but the guy was an asshole loser, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

tl;dr – Guy was a dick who wouldn’t leave me alone about stealing my gf, sent out homosexual confession letter from his email. Hilarity ensues.

2. Abusive Husband

I hit my (ex) husband over the head with a 30.06 (?) deer rifle many, many years ago. Then, I grabbed my baby girl and ran. Saw him fall and just left. drove to my moms house the next town over.

Back story. He was a VN vet with PTSD and very violent. He had been in a drug rage for several days. I had been out at the grocery store with the baby and had just come home. I put my little girl down in the den and went to check on him. When I opened the door, he was crouched on the floor pointing the rifle at me. He began ranting that I was having an affair with my doctor (who was about 70 and had been my doctor since I was a kid). He pulled the trigger on the rifle and it made a horrible click…I can still hear it…but it misfired or wasn’t loaded. Anyway, I turned to run and he threw it at me and began beating me pretty badly. He got me down and was strangling me. I remember thinking “I’m going to die.” Somehow, I got up and tried to run to my little girl…thinking he wouldn’t hurt me in front of her. He grabbed a brick (he was a brickmason and had been building a fireplace in our room) and started towards the door saying that “___ would be better off dead than having a whore like me for a mother.” I grabbed the rifle and swung it at him and ran.

When I got to my mom’s, I was bleeding and battered and didn’t even know it. My shirt was completely torn off and I didn’t know it. I had a black eye and broken teeth and didn’t know it. All I could think of was to get to my mama and make sure my baby was safe.

I had to hide for months after this…I still fear him even though he’s now 62 and in a locked facility.

That’s my sordid story.

3. Reaching Out

I didn’t listen to my ex when she needed to talk because I was busy and didn’t want to take the time. She hung herself 1/2 hour later.

4. And Again

My ex boyfriend…He wanted to talk to me and i kept ignoring him. He later shot himself in the head. I still feel like shit.

5. …this is horrible.

I had been lazy throughout high school, and never really tried very hard, but just hard enough to maintain a high B/ low A average. Senior year rolls around, and I’m applying to colleges and applying for scholarships and stuff. I speak to our school counselor who tells me that due to my high ACT score, I would be eligible for a $30,000 scholarship, but only if I was in the top 10% of my class. Well, she prints out the rankings and it turns out I’m ranked 15 out of 142 students. Fuck me.

I talk to her about my options regarding my rank, and she says there’s really nothing I can do to move up, as it is too late in my high school career. I accept this, and just figure I will have to take out shitloads of loans for school, and end up in debt for years.

So Christmas break comes and goes, and upon returning to school, one of my classmates isn’t there, due to a serious mental breakdown right before school let out for the break. She’d always been a little crazy and I figured the breakdown would happen any day. Anyway, I talk to a couple of people about it, and evidently one of my friends, who used to date her, had talked to her and he said that she would be out of school for several weeks to a few months. The conversation continues and we get on the subject of how smart she was and how high her class ranking was, almost to the point of her being valedictorian.

SO I gets me an idea. What if I call her up and take advantage of her state, say a couple of mean things and maybe convince her to switch schools or drop out or something? Once she’s gone, I’ll be in the top 10% and be eligible for that fat scholarship!

So I go through with the plan. I call her and tell her that I’m calling as a friend, and just wanted to let her know that even though the other students in our class are “grateful she’s finally gone” and “glad they don’t have to put up with that crazy bitch’s shit for a while”, I’m still there for her. I say I have to go and hang up.

She kills herself 2 days later.

I got the scholarship.

6. Bully. You’re a bully.

In high school, there was a girl in the year below me. She must have had confidence issues, and really wanted to be friends. She was just irritating and clingy, but no matter how mean I was to her, she just wouldnt go away and find other people to annoy. There was a janitors closet with a toilet to the side in the corridor that ran along the assembly hall, so one night after the school musical wrapped up, I told her I had a surprise for her. She let me blindfold her, and lead her to the janitors closet, I had her climb up on top of the toilet seat, and tied her hands to a beam above her head.
Then went home.

7. ICE COLD

I gave someone a Nickelback CD.

8. “We caused several people to immediately vomit”

I made a milk bomb. In my high school cafeteria I took a plastic screw top pint of milk and half emptied it and put some lunch meat in it and screwed the top back on tight. One of my friends found a little heater vent in the cafeteria that we could wiggle off and place down inside without anyone seeing it. We let it sit in there for probably a month during the winter… Mind you the heat was probably constantly on, blowing over the entire bottle.

After a month we could no longer contain ourselves with excitement about what could have grown within that little bottle. So we pulled it out, went over to the freshman section of the cafeteria (we were seniors) and quickly cranked the bottle open and made a dash for the exit into the school’s courtyard.

And waited.

No more than thirty seconds later there was a mass exodus of students covering their mouths and trying not to be sick. We wanted to be nowhere near the incident, but from several eyewitness reports, we caused several people to immediately vomit. If nothing else we cleared the cafeteria of about three hundred students in a matter of minutes with the vile odor.

9. This list…jeez.

I was dating a girl who had become incredibly dull and boring to me. I decided to dump her, and just before I could get around to doing so, she told me she was pregnant. I was right pissed off, but I held my cool and thought about it, and told her to give me a few days to come to terms with this. I don’t want kids, and certainly didn’t want to be permanently attached to the vapid girl for life, so after my few days I came back and told her I’d had to think about things, and I’d come to a decision. Now, my GF was a very moralistic person who was totally against abortion as she considered it murder. I told her that I had a family history of severe genetic disorders (lie), and that I’d spoken to my physician and he’d advised against me ever having kids (lie). She initially wanted to ‘let God handle it’ so she keep to her morals, but I wore her down and convinced her to get an abortion, as that’d be the merciful thing to do. The day came, the deed was done, and she came home. That night, I told her I wanted sex (which she obviously couldn’t have, seeing as she’d just had the procedure that day), and guilted her into letting me fuck her in the ass, which was something she swore she’d never do. After that was done, the next morning I told her I couldn’t be with her anymore as I felt terrible guilt over the abortion, and she reminded me of that guilt.

10. I just can’t with these people.

I was involved in a drunken fling with a woman I don’t find particularly attractive at one point a few years ago. She was one of those women who acts slutty at parties / etc, probably out of a lack of self-esteem and has severe personal issues. For the next two years I proceeded to only be nice to her when I was horny, and then basically ignore her after that, being rude and curt with her whenever we spoke. After two years of this, she got a clue and decided that she ought to move on, quit dealing with me, and got a boyfriend. This annoyed me, since she was my plaything. Keep in mind, I didn’t particularly like this woman or find her attractive. So I got in touch with her, and over a period of a couple months went from acting friendly to convincing her I had been a victim of emotional issues during our previous interactions, and that I was better now. I convinced her that I was in love with her. Around this time, she found out that she was pregnant by her boyfriend. I still managed to talk her into leaving him one night when she was over visiting me. She phoned him up while I was sitting on the couch, and broke up with him. I got her to have sex with me that night, and the next day told her I felt awful for making her leave her child’s father, that I’d made a mistake, and that we shouldn’t see each other again.

He never took her back, and while she at least had a job and some future before all this, now she’s a single mother on welfare living in some shit area of town. To this day, she still tries to talk to me sometimes, since she feels that I am one of her ‘only real friends’. Her life is what I’ve made it into.

It makes me smile.

11. Rough

I told my biological mother that “just because you got laid doesn’t make you a Mom.”

12. He just wanted to “grow some fucking plants”

When I was like 9 years old, we were making forts in the rainforest and stumbled into this guys pot patch. Being the idiots we were, we took it to our mom and she called the cops. The dude ended up getting 10 years. Now that I understand the context, and how bullshit it all is, I feel perpetually bad for what I did even though it was in ignorance. All the dude wanted to do was grow some fucking plants.

13. The Worst Friend Ever

When I was 19 I began smoking pot, in a bad way, and dropped out. I moved back in with my parents and a buddy moved in to. We spent that winter getting high and chilling. In February he invited a girl over named Sam. I feel in love with her, and he was dating so I figured she was mine. We texted all the time and Kyle, the guy whom moved in, said she really liked me. Sam went back to CO for college and I continued my lust and she continued hers, or so I thought.

An opportunity arose to go to CO to pick up a car and that would put me near her so I was going to visit. Kyle decided to come along for the trip. We made it to Fort Collins, CO and hung out with her. On the second day I told her my feelings and she said she like Kyle. I was like WTF, he’s dating another chick. Well it turned out that didn’t matter to him and they began to hook up while I was there. I left a day later and he came with.

When we got back to Atlanta, he was forced to move out by my dad for being lazy and I happened upon a job and moved out. We maintained a relationship but I was pissed at him. When my lease ran up he offered to move into a place with me and split the rent. He was living with a different girl and she was there too. I needed revenge for that shit.

I slowly fucked with their relationship, I would bring back in the trash on his days, keep the litter dirty, basically undo all of his chores to piss Kahla off. There was rising tension and they both turned to me for advice, so I gave the worst I could. I told Kyle to be himself because he didn’t need her shit and it was better for him. I also told Kahla to be less supportive and with hold sex to try to get him straight.

Well, Kyle left to Bama with his friends one weekend and Kahla went up to her friends too. I found Kyles phone was left at the apartment. I began texting Kahla and saying that he was cheating on her, but from his phone. She got pissed, and her ex showed up thanks to a MySpace message I sent him from her account. They fucked and he managed to get Kyles number. He told Kyle all about how they fucked and he dumped her hard. She tried to say he cheated too and she had messages from him, but he just blew her off.

I had done it, I got her to cheat on him, him to dump her and wreck both of their lives royally. I wasn’t done yet however, I had one year of college left and told Kyle I’d help him start anew in anther city if he wanted to move with me to my new job location. He agreed.

I let him live rent free until he found a job. It took him two months but he got a job in retail and started to pay a bit of rent. I begun to work towards getting him fired. I would call the complaint line and leave complaints about how he kept coming on to me while working. He eventually got fired and when he came home and told me, I kicked him out for losing his job. He couldn’t find a job and begun to live on the street. Last I heard he was using meth and living in a shelter.

14. I mean…you did warn him.

Rewind to 1992, my freshman year in high school. I’m going to a new private school and wasn’t doing too well at making friends. In fact, I was regularly tormented on the bus to school. There was one guy in particular that refused to leave me alone. I’ll just cut it short by saying he was extremely antagonistic.

Well, at some point in the school year I got stuck doing a video in history class with this asshole and a few other people. Since we both had the same cameras we were both in charge of video taping the assignment. We had to swap the tape back and forth a few times. At the end of the project he took the tape home and made a final edit to vhs. We submitted the final product and probably got a crappy grade.

This is where it gets interesting… I wanted my original tape back that he had used for editing. After months of harassing him for it he finally gave me the tape. Took it home and decided to show the whole family our video. So it was me, my 5 year old brother and my parents all sitting around the tv… Pop the tape in and quickly realize that this was not the right tape. It opened to someone’s basement. We hear someone fidgeting in the background who then enters the frame… nude… jacking off. The fucker video taped himself jacking off.

Once we realized what was happening my mom screamed out in hysterics, hardly able to contain herself. I popped the tape out to spare my little bro, but I immediately realized I had absolute gold in my hand.

The next day I went to school and the usual antagonism started. I very abruptly told him that he had better back off… that I had something he would never want anyone to see… something that was on the tape he gave me. I wouldn’t hesitate to give everyone in the school a copy if he didn’t back the fuck off.

Well, he said I was full of shit and elevated the antagonism. Long story short, I found a girl that hated him equally and gave her the tape. She made a vhs copy and told our whole grade about it. During lunch break our whole class (about 70+ people) gathered in a class room and played the tape. That day a legend was born: Dancin’ Danzis. The entire school found out, all the parents found out and emergency meetings were called to find a way to deal with the situation. Ultimately, the parents and school decided to do nothing, to my great satisfaction. The humiliation I imposed on this loser was so satisfying, I never thought it could feel so good.

I hope he still lives with this shame today.

15. This is some Mean Girls shit

I made a girl fat… and not by marrying her.

In 2003, my office got a new secretary and a new manager. The secretary, a thin blonde, was a vile she-devil, she wouldn’t do anything the staff asked (find info, set up calls, get coffee for anyone who wasn’t herself) and the manager wouldn’t do anything about it. We joked that her job title was “Internet Quality Control” because she more-or-less sent personal email and played on myspace all day, to which when she overheard, literally went to the manager in tears. Then one day I got a rather large jar of candy as a gift and she just about single-handedly consumed half of it, which pissed me off good. Then later that week, I brought in a dozen donuts and she ate half of them on her own. Upon putting the facts together, our web designer, editor and I decided to fuel the fire in something we called “Operation: Butter-Up”, where we each in turn brought in a large bag of candy to fill up my jar as fast as she could empty it. In the course of three months, she put on 20 pounds.

In a years time, she unrecognizable and along with being a crank, she was an idiot and couldn’t figure out how. Several times a week we provided her sweets and snacks of every kinds until her boyfriend dumped her, which was about eight months into the project, and she had to get a new wardrobe. We lucked out because she was rather stupid, but we had more diabolical measures lined up if she stopped eating the candy, along the lines of mixing in weight-gainer to the non-dairy creamer she was using and things of that nature. That was 2003 and she’s still big to this day, saw her on Facebook and smiled at our handiwork. Still single to this day, and I would like to think that we had something to do with it.

16. You win.

I created Clippy, the Microsoft Office Assistant.

17. “Ended up saving him in the end”

In early high school, my best friend and I liked the same girl. This girl was, to put it lightly, “it”: drop-dead gorgeous, brilliant, and excelled in all things athletic. Well, my best friend didn’t know that I liked her at the same time that he did, and so when the girl and I started to date I didn’t tell my best friend for a few months, all the while he was pining after her… I finally told him after a while, and damn was he pissed. I felt like shit. But we didn’t stop hanging out even after that–he forgave me pretty quickly, which was always the moment to me that I knew that I could count on this guy like no one else. And which simultaneously made me feel like shit again, because I don’t think I would have forgiven him at the time.

Anyway, said girl and I dated for a long time, and it turned out to be the most intense, emotionally taxing, fucked-up relationship I’ve ever had. Whenever my friend and I joke about it now, we always comment on how I ended up saving him in the end. Karma’s a bitch.

18. Armed Robbery

One night I was at a friend’s house party and living it up as usual. My friend (owner of said house) introduces all of us to a real asshole friend of his. This guy was bragging how he just stole this teens purse over at the local burger joint. I’m not usually one to get involved or be of high morals but I’ve got a thing against stealing directly from innocent people (stores and stuff were ok at the time). So later on that night when this guy is tipsy I get him in a part of this house, just me and him.

I’ve been brooding all night over this guy so I’m really pissed (and drunk) by this time. When he turns around I’m sticking my Smith & Wesson 9mm pistol in his face. He literally shits himself but I don’t care. I take this girl’s purse from him and then make him give me his wallet ($353.00 in cash, a license, some credit cards, not much else) and all the valuable shit he has on him (gold necklace, class ring, iPod, and some weird demonic ring). I tell him to never grace the presence of me or my house friend again as I cock the hammer back on the gun, at this he pisses himself. I make him leave the party right then and there (I left him his car keys). Later on when I sobered up I drive over to the local big boxmart and get a box out back of the dumpster. I note this girl’s license address and label the box as such. I then put in her purse with all her belongings plus this guys valuables (minus the demon ring) and his $353.00. I then proceed to tape it up and ship it out to her. I then went downtown and gave this guy’s wallet to a homeless man and told him to live it up on his credit cards.

19. Dirty Knickers

At primary school in Scotland, when I was about 9 years old, a new boy, Peter, joined the school. His family had moved up from England. He was a bit odd but we go on well enough.

After a few months, he stayed over at my house as part of a sleep-over. A few days later I was looking for something in my toy cupboard and found a pair of Y-front underpants. They weren’t mine. They were Peter’s and they had the most enormous streak of shite in them.

I gingerly put them into a clear plastic folder and the next day at school during break time I charged people 5 pence to look at them. Then someone took them from me and everybody chased Peter around the play ground, with his dirty knickers waving in the air.

20. You’re an asshole

Once I filled some empty corona bottles with urine, recapped them and left near the recycling bin across the street. I was hoping to see some vagrant drink one, there’s bums drinking beer outside my apartment at all hours. After an hour, someone did grab those bottles, but instead of chugging one down right away, they just put them in a backpack and scurried off. Dude didn’t look much like a hobo, very unsatisfactory experience overall. Afterwards I felt guilt.

21. “Despicable me”

This honestly still makes me LOATHE MYSELF, even years later. Okay this will be short and (not so) sweet: I let my boyfriend who I was living with at the time eat me out, right after I had gotten home from cheating on him. Worst part… the guy had cum inside me. Despicable me.

22. This I don’t feel bad about.

A girl was very obviously cheating off of me on an exam so I filled out my test with all of the wrong answers and made it pretty clear so that she could see them.

After she turned in her test while I “checked my answers”, I erased the wrong ones and put in my own answers. She was quite surprised to recieve a 0 on the final, whereas I got an A. She failed the class.

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