14. Forgetful or responsible

I’m in a triad with my husband and my BF, and we have all been raising our son for long enough that he does not remember having only two parents. Some days, he has three people, in ten minutes, checking if he took his medication. Other days, three people forget to tell him to go to bed because he is suddenly magically silent downstairs, and we all think the other person told him.

15. Actually, three

My dad has two wives.

It’s not that different to any other household. I don’t mention it to other people. The wives live in different houses, so I never see his second wife. I see my half siblings once or twice a year. My dad spends more time living with us, but it wasn’t like that when I was younger.

EDIT: Actually, he has three. I forgot he got married again last year when he went back to his home country. However, he married this girl to provide for her as she had no family (I think her parents recently died). I don’t think it’s sexual. It’s frowned upon for a woman to receive financial help from a man who is not her family or husband. So, he married her to help her out.

My brother and my mother have met her. My mom likes her because she would help her around the house when she went to visit her home country.

16. Very open family

Well, I’ve been polyamorous for about 15 years, with my second wife and our shared girlfriend, then again after she passed with my current Fiancee.

My 4 kids have always known that we are polyamorous, and frankly, they don’t care at all. They have never thought much about it and are perfectly accepting of various people they’ve been introduced to that we have sex with or that we engage with amorously.

I know all that because we’ve all had good long discussions about polyamory, and I’ve always made sure my lifestyle doesn’t impact theirs negatively. They feel perfectly comfortable asking me questions about my relationships with other people, sex, and any other question they might have because I simply do not hide the truth from them.

My parents are accepting (as is my Fiancee’s parents) of our polyamorous lifestyle. Although, I know they secretly don’t understand it themselves.

17. First name basis

In my house, my husband and I had two kids before our partner joined us, so they call him by his first name. Then again, they called their father by his first name for a while too (no big deal here). Now, we are expecting a baby, and this will be my partner’s first offspring. We are all very excited and have not yet decided exactly what everyone will call each other. But we all love and respect each other, so we will work it out.

18. Judgemental

I always think it’s sad that polyamorous families feel they have to tone down their affection to avoid being judged.

19. Not embarrassed

I’ve been poly 15+ years. I always ask the children of my partners and other poly friends how they feel.

Well, for the young ones, they don’t know any different. I mean their school friends are different, but there are now families with two mommies or two daddies or gramps and grams or a ton of other permutations. They just seem to accept that there are more people at home to play games or go sledding or talk incessantly too. They get to go to parties with tons of adults to complain to or dote on them or sneak them extra goodies- and lots of kids that they have something in common with.

Now, the older kids (10-ish to 20-ish) have a more colorful spectrum of opinions. Shockingly, being embarrassed was not something I heard. They were worried about what divorce would mean- How would the dynamic work? Would they lose their non-legal parents? They were worried they might feel pressure or jokes or other such embarrassments when they enter the dating world. Would their parents tease them about being mono or poly? Would becoming poly mean turning their lives into their parent’s lives?

“My mom was so broken up after her 6-year relationship ended. She has never had those problems with dad. I never want to go through that. I am only falling in love once.”

“We are so happy when DeDe comes to visit us or calls us, even though she is no longer with our parents! We love her and miss her!”

“I wanna have two boyfriends and a girlfriend. I think that would be the right ratio. Mom didn’t get it right. She needs another guy in her life.”

So, the thing is I have gotten very similar answers from monogamous couple’s children. In the end, it comes down to the quality of general parenting, an open door policy when it comes to answers that the children have, and always encouraging children to pick their own paths when it comes to their romantic relationships.

Oh, and it shouldn’t have to be said, but introducing new love interests too soon or having unhealthy and/or abusive relationships are bad for the children involved. Physical violence, emotional manipulation, sexual predatory behaviors, and a child witnessing drug/alcohol/partying behaviors can slant a child away from wanting anything to do with anything their parents do, including a number of romantic partners.