Gift giving is one of those societal practices that can be learned, but that I think some people are innately better at than others. Some people are great at paying attention, at being creative – and sure, at being able to afford – really great presents.
The rest of us are struggling along, trying to do our best every time a celebration rolls around.
I find it hard to believe that the people who gifted these 19 presents were really trying at all, though…unless they were trying to be the worst.
19. That seems ominous.
A neighbor I had never met before gave me a bag of hatchets on Christmas morning a few years ago.
It was 4 or 5. I live in the middle of a big city as opposed to the wilderness so it seemed odd
18. The only appropriate response.
My brother gave me a used puzzle – it was missing pieces, had wads of hair, a screw and a penny.
I put it together, mounted it, and regifted it to him the following year.
17. An epic family tale.
I have a fun story from my dad’s childhood. His dad, my grandpa, was not great at shopping for presents. One year, he was very proud of himself for finding the perfect gift for my grandma. A truly hideous gold colored blazer and skirt set. She wasn’t thrilled but thanked him and hung it in the closet never to be worn.
The next year, my grandpa went shopping on his own again….and got her the same set, this time with pants instead of skirt. Grandma this time called him out on it, “Oh for the love of God, (grandpa), this is exactly the same gift as last year!” He had no memory of this.
So of course, my dad and his siblings, being little shits, waited until next year, grabbed the first outfit out of the closet, wrapped it, and put it under the tree from Grandpa to Grandma…and waited for their evil genius to bloom into fruition. There were some fireworks that Christmas, but not in the sky.
16. I wish there was video of the tandem opening.
So a few years ago, I’m making good money, and I buy my younger brother a brand-new PS3 with a couple of games. He’s going to love it.
He, not knowing that I was getting him this gift, and also not having much money, decided to give me a prank gift. He got me a box of chocolates, but instead of chocolates, it was stuffed full of gravel and cat s*%t.
15. Or hide a body.
My grandma got my mom the greatest gift ever one year.
Rubber gloves… thats it just rubber gloves.
Said she could use them to clean our house. They didn’t speak for a few years lol
14. Those can be hard to find.
A broken metal bucket. I already had two non-broken ones.
13. The gift that kept on giving.
My grandma got me a case of toilet paper. It lasted until the following Christmas. I really wasn’t mad about it.
12. No one needs one of those.
A mankini.
It was also too big so my s*%t was chillin in there like the last fry in the McDonalds bag.
11. What horrible people.
6 years old, my biological grandparents gave my step brother #1 a Pirate Lego ship. Step brother #2, some nerf guns. And me ABC wooden blocks. Step brother #2 and I were 6 months apart in age.
I was disappointed and they made a point to point out my disappointment and told me they would never get me anything again for Christmas.
They held to their promise to the point my Dad was getting stuff putting their name on it trying to mend the relationship. He would tell me to thank them for it and they would tell me “your dad got you that thank him”.
They hated my Mom and took it out on me. They told everyone I wasn’t really my Dads kid. Weird way to grow up.
10. They can always re-gift it.
Step moms mother gave me a mug…that said to a wonderful mother and had a personalized note from one of her other daughters in the mug. I’m male and have no children.
She regifted a Mother’s Day present from one of her kids that she never even opened.
9. Prank gifts are the best gifts.
My dad was once given a skateboard pencil sharpener by his sister-in-law. As kids my brother and I thought it was cool as f**k.
Dad, a mid-30s corporate manager, didn’t.
Edit: I just found a bulk pack of the exact same ones on eBay. Guess that’s dad’s next Christmas sorted.
8. Do you take baths?
My grandmother gave me an Elmo bath toy for Christmas one year.
I was 21.
7. Playing favorites.
I got a bunch of art supplies and canvases. Exactly what was asked for, by my sister. I just gave it all to her because it would not have been used by me.
That was the majority of gifts that were for me. Very distressing as a child.
6. I would never forgive myself.
I got a dead rat for Christmas when I was a kid. I wanted a pet rat, my parents got one, but on Christmas Eve they noticed it wasn’t looking too good.
The note I got on Christmas morning on the cage said “I caught a cold on Santa’s sleigh!” Poor thing lasted about 10 minutes and died in my hands while I was opening other presents.
A tough Christmas morning for an 8 year old.
5. At least they still bought it, no judgment?
I ask my inlaws a few years back for a Magic Bullet – you know the popular small blender everyone was crazy for? For smoothies and all that jazz.
I opened on Christmas morning a uhhh.. completely different X-rated kind of magic bullet. Totally didn’t think about how it’s a popular name for a vibrator.
4. This hurts my heart.
My mom had a pretty bad childhood. One particular ‘highlight’ is the time she was really, really, more than anything wanting this one specific pair of boots.
Her mom got her a picture of the boots, and promised the boots themselves would arrive soon.
She never got those boots from her mom. She says that years later when she got her first job and first paycheck, the first thing she bought was those boots.
3. That’s…not a gift.
My aunt always gave me her son’s demo discs from his subscription to the Playstation magazine as a kid. They are millionaires and always acted like they were better than us.
Glad my Dad finally wised up and cut them out of the picture when I was a teen. He suffered way too much abuse from them.
2. Of course they have a favorite.
My grandparents gave me a bottle of antifreeze for Christmas once. I mean I knew I wasnt the favorite grandchild but that’s a bit on the nose.
I also have a grandmother that is not afraid to openly play favorites. When we visited one time she brought out a stack of chocolate bars, my brother got 5, I got 3 and my sister got 1.
1. Just say no to recycled gifts.
A coloring book that had already been half colored.
I do not know how I would have responded to unwrapping any of these.
What’s the worst present you’ve received? Have you given a gift that turned out to be super cringe? Tell us about it in the comments!
