8. Secret Smutt

I am a pretty respectable person in real life. I am married and we have a house together. I have a nice job with a well-known company where I supervise several people. When people look at me, they see that I am super shy but very kind and I guess I look innocent?

Anyway, I went to school and graduated with an art degree, but there aren’t that many studios around here, so I’ve had to settle for freelancing on my own time after hours. What people don’t know, however, is that I draw a whole lot of p*rn, because it seems I am actually pretty good at that, and a lot of people like it. The more I have been doing it, the more interesting things I draw for people commissioning me. I don’t know how it just sort of… happened. A job is a job, that is the way I see it, and I will draw just about anything to make a commissioner satisfied. Also, everyone who has commissioned me is SUPER nice. It’s just that I would never tell anyone that is part of my ‘daytime’ life about this. Like, ever.

9. Closeted and confident

My friends think I’m asexual, my family thinks I’m single because I’m trying to achieve my dreams and trying to be independent. The truth is I’m just gay and living in an Arabic, Muslim country where the best solution for me is to stay single.

10. Sugar Daddy

My “uncle” is my sugar daddy. All my friends think I’m living with my uncle. My family thinks my new boyfriend is younger. But he is 47 and I’m a 21-year-old. Today I realized how intense the situation is when he told me that I eat too fast. I’m very slowly copping out.

11. Introvert

Everyone thinks I’m super sociable because I make easy conversation, can talk to anyone, and am generally outgoing. I have very few friends and get really exhausted by social interaction. I can do it, but I also just want to rest and to be alone afterward. I spend a lot of time alone and I’m happy that way. My boyfriend thinks it’s weird because he has a big group of friends but I’m just happy doing stuff alone and would rather have a night in with a book or watch a movie alone than go out with friends.

Also, I tell people I’m not ticklish. I’m very ticklish.

12. Lol

My first week on the job, my boss comes by with Twizzlers and ask if I like them. I say yes. I’m new, I’m in no position to have strong opinions on food yet. So she gives me two.

Now, at least once a week, she’ll save me two extra Twizzlers. And it’s so thoughtful and kind but I hate Twizzlers and think they’re nasty as hell. I’m just living this lie and I don’t wanna suddenly say, “Hey I’m more of a Reeses ‘kind of gal’, I only said I liked Twizzlers because it was my first week and I was nervous.”

So I just keep eating them hoping it gives me a food allergy so I can be done with it.

13. Oof

That I don’t need this crappy job. That I’m just here for something to pass the time. The fact is that I was once a millionaire. I fell head over heels for another woman although I was still married. I got divorced to be with this new lady. I lost everything in the 5 years it took to get divorced. I was able to keep my home but I was hopelessly in debt. My backup plan was that at some point I could sell my business and recoup the money I had to pay out in the divorce. But within 5 years of the divorce, my business was in serious trouble. I was able to sell it and get myself even but that was all. So at 50 years old, I was starting over.

I made the poor decision of marrying the new woman. She told me she would show me how to live on love. A few years passed and then the new wife has a massive stroke. Endless medical bills and rehab appointments followed. I actually move to a different state because I knew I need to find another job and I was too ashamed for anyone who knew me to see me take a job when I was always on top of the world before all this. Unfortunately, at this age, no one wants to hire you. I was finally able to find a minimum wage job that also offered insurance. My ego and pride will not allow me to tell the truth about my situation. So I pretend I’m still wealthy and I was just bored sitting around.

14. Afraid

That I like my girlfriend but honestly I just don’t want to be alone again.