Young children and teens receive a lot of advice from well-meaning adults in their lives, only to find out years later that these tips are useless.
An AskReddit thread asked the following:
“What dire warning from your parents turned out to be bullshit?”
We sifted through some of the most interesting answers. Maybe you can even relate!
20. No One Cares About Your Permanent Record
“If you get in trouble at school it will go on your PERMANENT RECORD and ruin your life.
Not once has anyone, from college admissions to prospective employers to loan officers, so much as mentioned the legendary PERMANENT RECORD.”
19. There Are Only Two Choices!
“That my two choices in life were either Harvard or McDonald’s.
Sheesh.
Bit of a gray area in between those two extremes.”
18. It’s Bad to Be a Lefty
“I was born left-handed.
My pops used to smack the shit outta me if I used my left hand, in essence forcing me to be right-handed. I had to constantly remind myself to use the hand with my birthmark to avoid smacks. As an adult I asked my pops why he forced me to be right-handed and he gave some tepid response about ‘when youre left handed youll have a tendency to pull that way when youre driving exposing you to oncoming traffic. Sounded like bullshit to me, and is confirmed by all the left hand driver is the world that dont spontaneously drive into oncoming traffic. If anyone has any ideas I’d love to know.
For reference, my pops is an old school vietnamese dude. I feel like its a cultural thing, but I was raised american and have no fucking idea.”
17. This Lie About Cars!
“When you press the red button with the triangle in the car all the doors fall off.”
16. You Can’t Use Different Hair Care Brands
“That if I used one brand of shampoo and a different brand of conditioner that my hair would fall out.
Also when I was five or six I asked what would happen if you went the opposite way that you turned the turn signal, my mom told me the car would explode and kill us.
Not sure why she told me that shit.”
15. Cursive Handwriting Helps You Get a Job
“I would be unemployable if I didn’t learn cursive handwriting.
Parents and teachers made me think that every job interview would have a cursive test in which they would measure the loops on the L’s or something.”
14. Your Bottom Will Fall Off…
“‘If you unscrew your belly button your bum will fall off.’
I did my best to avoid screwdrivers for a large part of my childhood because I lacked the will power not to stuff them into my belly button. I was terrified at the thought of losing my bum but intrigued by the possibility.”
13. There’s No Bathroom in The Haunted House
“‘We can’t pay $1 to go in the haunted house because they might not have a bathroom in there. What if you have to go to the bathroom?’
Just admit you’re cheap, Dad.”
12. Dry Ramen Can Make You Sick
“My mom warned me as a kid that eating the loose pieces of dried ramen from the pack would make me deathly ill.
I kept doing it with no problems. One day she said that in front of my dad when I was a teen and he just gave her this ‘wtf are you talking about’ look.”
11. The Beach Will Make You Water Logged
“When we would go to the beach I would never want to get out of the water so my mom told me that staying in the water too long would make me ‘water logged.’
She said she could look into my eyes and see the level of water in my system. If the water raised above my iris that meant I had to get out and let the water drain before I would drown.
I believed this for far too long.”
10. Your Face Will Freeze
“My Mom would always tell me take that look off your face or it will freeze like that when I was little.
I took that as fact. I really wanted dimples like my friend down the street so I would sit in my room with pencil erasers pushed into my cheeks forever.
No dimples still :-(.”
9. You’ll Get Finger Braces…
“If you play too many video games you’ll have to get little braces on your fingers.
Mom ‘the kid at the cash register at the grocery store had them because he played too many video games.'”
8. Guys Only Care About One Thing
“‘Boys only want one thing from girls! Be careful in high school. Thats all the boys will want to do.’
Turns out the ‘one thing’ all the boys I hung out with wanted from me was a turn at playing Pokemon on my gameboy!”
7. Everything Causes Cancer
“Microwaves will give you cancer. Cellphones will give you cancer. Smart meters will give you cancer. Wifi will give you cancer. Conventionally grown food will give you cancer. Western medicine will give you cancer. Antibiotics will give you cancer.
My mom was obsessed with cancer.
6. Your Head Will Cave In If…
“That if I kept picking my nose my head would cave in.”
5. Everyone On The Internet Is Out to Get You!
“People you meet on the internet are swindlers or serial killers.
Overall, the amount of people who are out there to get me and should be feared all day round was severely exaggerated.
That explains some of my social problems, I guess.”
4. Fans Rob You of Oxygen!
“My parents are Korean, so fan death.
When I leave my fan on at night, I feel so alive!”
3. You Can’t Take a Calculator Everywhere…
“You won’t walk around life with a calculator in your pocket.
Edit: Ahhhh! My first gold! We did it Reddit! Thank you!”
2. You’ll End Up in Prison If…
“People who disobey their parents end up in prison.”
1. This Is Why You Shouldn’t Sleep With Socks…
“Dont sleep with socks you ll become blind.”
Thankfully these Redditors found out the truth in their adult years! If you ask around, you likely know someone who has heard several of these bits of “wisdom,” maybe the adults in your life told you this when you were a child yourself!
Care to share the useless bits of advice you heard as a kid?
Comment away!
