18. Slow, just slow
I run a consumer advocacy firm. I had a client come in and tell me that he bought a product, and the company refused to honor the warranty after the product broke.
I asked for details, and he just started screaming in my face asking if I was going to take his money or not. I decided then that I wasn’t taking him on as a client, but I wanted to know what was going on. I convinced him to tell me what happened.Turns out he bought a computer back in the 1990s. It had just recently died. But not because it was old and just stopped working. It was slow, so he picked it up, and threw it out a two story window. And then he wanted to sue the manufacturer for breaking warranty.
19. But I only got oooooonnnneeee
Man wanted me to sue a tour group he signed up with because some people got two peanut butter sandwiches but he got only one.
This was a grown up man who held a real job and functioned in society.
20. Yeehaw!
My dad is a public defender and he had to defend this guy that stole a cop car from the jail parking lot.
Of course a police chase ensued and it went into the nearby highway (I-5 for those who know it). When he was finally pulled over about 5 minutes and 7 miles later, the guy got out of the car completely naked except for a pair of leather cowboy boots.
21. Just pay his benefits…
My dad is an in house lawyer for a major American insurance company.
He once spent an entire year trying to help deny insurance benefits for a painter who had stepped off his ladder onto a cat, fallen down the stairs and become paralyzed. The insurance company was arguing that a cat was a commonly expected occupational hazard for a painter and that he was negligent in not checking for cats before stepping down. A whole year of his life.Over whether a cat is a known occupational hazard of house painting.
22. Not service animals
I’m a lawyer, but this happened to a friend of mine. He got engaged, and apparently this pissed off his ex-gf.
The ex-gf sued him for custody of their two cats AND $500,000 for something like the lost value of the cats because she claimed they were service animals. Hint: they were not at all service animals.
23. COME ON
Guy was arrested for marijuana possession.
Arresting officer never actually opened the tin foil bundle involved and check that it was, in fact, not a burrito.
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