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I thank God every day that I live in the era of spell check.
Otherwise I’d have to…check my own spelling.
It would never work. No one would ever communicate with me. I’d be alone, in a corner, eating crackers.
But even spell check can’t always save us from ourselves, especially when it does battle with autocorrect. Just listen to these Reddit tales.
1. The Accident
“Sorry for the incontinence.”
I meant inconvenience, of course. It went out to a group of managers who reported to my boss. We were going to have really limited office coverage for the holidays, so one of their usual processes was going to be delayed, and I was asked to send the official email about how we were going to do business during the couple of days after Christmas.
Fortunately, they were great people and we all laughed.
– liniyedf
2. Shut It Down
Typing up minutes to a meeting, “(company name) was s**t for 10 days over Christmas period and only responded to emergency jobs”. Not shut, s**t. To be fair all the folks representing that company agreed that their response times were s**t due to the fact that they were shut.
– SparkieMark1977
3. Translation Errors
This guy in my class in elementary meant to ask his dad over text if he could take him to the ski slope (kan du kjøre meg i bakken), but instead asked if he could take him in the a** (kan du kjøre meg i baken
– awkwardturt133
4. The Jumble
Worst (or weirdest) I’ve seen was from my father. His texts are legendarily awful but he out did himself.
He accidentally sent a text message to himself that was a random jumble of letters. Asking the lines of “umsfolltd”.
He then thought my mother had sent him this text.
He was meant to be meeting her at a cafe. He decided this entirely random text he had sent himself must be a new restaurant and she’d decided to meet him there instead.
He spent ages looking for this restaurant. He’d decided it might be an Indian restaurant.
He got very very annoyed when he couldn’t find it.
He eventually went to where they were meant to meet, late and grouchy. And complained to my mother who was patiently waiting in the right place about her doing this to him.
He refused to accept he sent the message. My mother’s not good with technology but correctly pointed out it was clearly showing as his side of the conversation on both their phones.
He’s still a bit annoyed and defensive about it.
(He’s not horrible just grouchy. And an idiot. They are divorced but get on well. People constantly mistake them for an adorable old couple which is hilarious).
– victoriaj
5. Power Corrupts
I wouldn’t say damage to other people but more my self. Was in a mod interview via text for something and the owner just flat out asked me “Will you abuse your powers?” and I meant to say “I absolutely will not.” But I forgot the “Not.”
I cringed at myself so I just backed out of the mod interview. Haha.
– TheThirteenthNeef
6. Spending Spree
Hubby: ” so I want to get a new video card but the one I want is like 1100$ bucks”
Me: “You can spend that much on a part rn!”
Then I turned my ringer off and went into my appointment. 2 hours later I had several texts from a very happy husband who was super excited about his new video card.
It arrives today. So Fml
– Think-Athlete-8774
7. The Crush
I was 18. Just starting college and embarrassingly, this was my first plunge into dating (High school was dry for me). I really liked this girl, she was smart, pretty, sarcastic, dark humored, and we liked the same music. We hit it off almost instantly and it was really nice. We were texting back and forth and she suddenly asked me “what do you want from a girl?”
I meant to reply “orale, starting with the important questions!” For those of you who don’t know “orale” is a slang word in Spanish, typically spoken in Mexico and has many uses. In this case, I wanted to use it to show her I was surprised she showed romantic interest first.”
Well, it turns out my old Blackberry didn’t know I was Mexican and decided it knew better and autocorrected my text for me. The text exchange went something like this.
Her: “So, what do you want from a girlfriend”
Me: “Oral.”
– The_Muddy_Wolf
8. Out of Office
I worked in a media library, and while away for my honeymoon, set my out-of-office to state that I’d be away, but that “If tit is important, please contact *female co-worker*”.
It was like that for over a week.
I came back to dozens of emails that were essentially variations of “Hey, i don’t need anything but I heard about your out-of-office, and had to see it lol”
From then on, we would all mention how important tit was every so often.
– Dyko
9. Pimp it Out
I work in construction and have to regularly coordinate with building management for access to places (think 60 story and up Manhattan skyscrapers size of building and level of people).
I needed access to a fire pump room that we called the pump room for short. My email subject was asking for access to the “Pimp Room”.
The manager responded by thanking me for installing such a fun sounding room since he never heard of it before in his building and the chief engineer replied that it was the room that had lots of “hose” in it. Thankfully they were a fun group of guys and we all laughed our a**es off but what a stupid typo.
– Dirtyace
10. ON ON ON ON
Not me, but my now fiance. When we were just friends (he had a crush on me and I knew it) we were texting about what we wanted to do when we saw each other after our Christmas break from college. He said he wanted to give me a hug and I jokingly replied what if I don’t want a hug (we are both terrible flirts, not the point of the story lololol).
He reply with “Well I mean it’s your body and I wouldn’t force anything in you” (key word being in). So I replied “uhhh you mean on not in right?” To which he replied the following:
Him: ON ON ON ON Him: HOLY FUCK Him: ON ON ON
But now his my fiance sooooooo it all worked out
– IngenuityGoddess21
11. Finger Lickin’ Good
At work, the people typing up vendor listings for a convention listed the food vendor’s lunch offerings. I was among the proofreaders.
None of us caught the words “fried children” (should have been fried chicken).
So, not MY typo, you know.
– ansibley
12. Public Parts
I worked in the architecture industry for many years. One of the aspects of the job, when we were designing a new building in a community, was to present our plans to the public in a place like a community centre or a school gym, and they would be able to voice their concerns. The presentation materials would usually take the form of panels printed on foam core board and placed around the space; these presentations are called public consultations.
In one instance, we had printed about 30 boards with the title “X Project Public Consultation” at the top, only the “l” had been forgotten in the word “public.” Hilarity ensued.
Luckily the mistake was caught before they placed all the boards, and they were quickly reprinted, which cost a lot of money. If it had been ANY other letter we would have let it slide.
– ToothbrushGames
13. Slut Shaming
I used to work for a museum booking group visits and educational programs for tour companies and schools.
Was working on a reservation and they had only told me how many students were in the group, but I also needed the number of adults. So, I sent an email to the teacher:
“Hello *teachername*, we’ll also need to know approximately how many sluts will be visiting from your school.”
Luckily, they had a sense of humor:
“Not sure how many of us are sluts, but if you meant “adults” it’s going to be around 8 or 10.”
– smokehidesstars
14. Double Checking
Submitting forms for a job, got a real awkward call back – “Did you mean to check this box saying that yes, you’ve been been involved with illegal distribution of controlled substances? Because you checked no on all the other questions about criminal behavior…”
Nice of the guy to give me a chance to correct it, at least.
– BitterFuture
15. Big Money
My first finance job had to do with managing corporate cash.
I was moving funds from one account to another and accidentally hit an extra zero.
I ended up moving $30MM instead of $3MM.
Luckily it was between internal accounts, so it was easily reversible, but I didn’t know that at the time.
I s**t my pants and my boss let me panic for 30 seconds before fixing it.
– Fandorin
16. Very Bad News
A couple years ago my grandpa had surgery for pancreatic cancer.
What my mom MEANT to text me is “the surgeons will give an update soon” which instead somehow came out as “the surgeons will give up soon”
– Tokidoki99
17. Definite Articles
A friend of mine once showed me a story they were working on, and I accidentally sent them a message saying “this is s**t” instead of “this is the s**t.”
Fortunately they understood it was just a mistake and I was able to clear the whole thing up in like a minute.
– TheChainLink2
18. Well There’s Your Problem
Asked a co-worker in a group IM if he’d mind me using his d**k as mine didn’t seem to be working properly.
I meant dock, for my laptop.
It wasn’t something I got in trouble for but it’s one of those typo’s that will probably come up in conversation for the next several years.
– phormix
19. Vampires Beware
This probably isn’t the most damaging here, but was funny. Wife ordered groceries via an app. Wanted 2 heads of garlic.
Ordered 2kg or garlic. Shopper didn’t stop to think about it.
It was like 40 heads. A huge shopping bag just full of garlic.
Yikes!
– Ruval
20. Mommy Issues
More of a “how I got screwed by autocorrect”, but I was s*xting a girl and she sent me a pic of her boobies.
H**l yeah right, so I text back “oh mmm”, except my iPhone really thought I wanted to say “oh mom”…Yeah, she went wtf and then ghosted me lol
– conditionred
21. Period
Years ago I took down the entire web infrastructure of a large (millions of daily users) company with a single additional . in a line of PHP code.
Does that count?
– recaffeinated
22. Butt Shows
Several years ago, I asked my mom if we could go to “butt shows” that weekend. I meant “buy shoes.”
No joke, it changed BOTH words to form the most unfortunate sentence ever. I hate my fat thumbs, lol.
– survivetothrive01
23. Always Take a Second
I mistyped ‘regards’ on an angrily worded email. I was told by my manager that, no matter how annoyed I was, I should call people that. It’s hard to explain that it was an accident given the tone of the email.
Always take a second and proof read any angry email. And then don’t send it. It isn’t worth it.
– the_hair_of_aenarion
24. Vowel Movements
I once sent a mass email to Sr. VP’s and C level execs that I was going to shut down the server cluster over the weekend.
A half hour later, a guy stops me in the hallway and tells me that I sent an email to all these big shots that I was going to ‘s**t down the server cluster.’ LOL.
I also sent a message where I was asked to look at a problem and sent a message to a bunch of managers and VP’s that I would ‘investigate things’ except that it said that I would ‘investigate thongs.’ LOL.
Whoever put the ‘u’, ‘i’, and ‘o’ keys next to each other on a qwerty keyboard, well played. This is the best practical joke ever devised.
– gorillamagnet
25. Dead Serious
Once when I was about 14-15 I was working for an art gallery and the owner had me write a happy birthday email to her friend. In hindsight, that’s pretty weird, but anyway.
I accidentally wrote ‘happy birthday dead Christina’, instead of dear, and when Christina responded, it was clear that she found the typo humorous. My boss, however, did not, and she flipped out on me and made me cry over it.
She then had me write an apology email explaining things like who I was, how old I was, and where I went to school.
That was over a decade ago, and looking back, everything about that was super inappropriate. I was very happy to stop working there.
– alistofthingsIhate
26. Out to Sea
Not mine but a coworker.
They were in Iraq and they order stuff for mechanics, well there was a typo from his shop and they received a 5 ton sea anchor delivered to them. No one checked what the NSN was ordering and just hit OK all the way up the chain lol.
OOPs.
– Collective82
27. RIP
I sent out a bio for a huge presentation I was giving on how to navigate virtual communications in which I wrote I had “vast experience with pubic speaking.”
RIP
– crospingtonfrotz
28. The Experiment
One of my professor from University was very strict and she would reduce marks If assignments were late, even for minutes. I had experience in past were I submitted the assignment but forgot to hand in Google classroom (Where you upload the assignment but there is an extra button to hand in to teacher).
For one of such assignments I was back home and about to catch a train for an overnight journey to college, so I had to submit the assignment that night before I go to station. I was in hurry but somehow managed to submit the assignment on time. Fast forward, reached college the next day. Everyone was talking about who all submitted in time and all, proud me who submitted it in time just opened it in Google classroom to send it to my friends.
I froze for a moment because the heading was S*XPERIMENT in BOLD, font size 16 as heading , In hurry I pressed ctrl+ s a couple of times but somehow an extra S came in front of EXPERIMENT..
– Abhishekloopsi
29. The Infinite Loop
I was an intern at a gov’t agency and I was running a model on the same server that was hosting the 10k employees email… And my model had an infinite loop because I missed a closing tag.
Anyway the server went down in a horrible fashion and someone came to my desk (cause there was no email) and said, “are you ___ ____?”
Then said “come with me” and I got scolded pretty bad
– integrateus
30. Deck the Halls
Texted my boss “come meet me on the d**k, I f**ked and need you”
Meant to text
Come meet me on the deck, I f**ked up and need you
I guess autocorrect knows I type d**k a lot more than deck, it was also super sunny outside and I couldn’t read my screen well enough to realize my mistake until he came up and laughed at me
– Crazylivykid
Be careful out there.
What’s YOUR biggest typo problem?
Tell us in the comments.
