Aren’t kids totally adorable every second of every day?

Whatever you say…

Okay, maybe not 100% of the time…

Or even 50% of the time…

Let’s just admit, children act up constantly and do terrible things! There! Are you happy now?

Here are some interesting answers about bad things kids have done from AskReddit users.

1. The collector.

“3 year old daughter would dig through the garden or under backyard objects to find pill bugs/woodlice and then bring them to us when they rolled into a ball. My wife and I would feign interest and tell her that they would stop rolling up into a ball once she left them alone.

A while back, my wife had given her a small, unused makeup bag. One summer night, I caught her whispering into the makeup bag right before bedtime. I asked her who she was talking to. She said she was talking to all the “beetles that didn’t want to stop being balls”.

I looked inside – the makeup bag was full of d**d pill bugs – at least 30 of them. She had been collecting them and trying to talk them out of their ball position.”

2. The ol’ armpit joke.

“My 3 year olds first joke was “hey look at my armpit” and she would point at her armpit and laugh. She would do this over and over.

They warn you about first steps and first words but first joke? I am a proud dad.”

3. Time to finger paint.

“I found my son and his cousin absolutely coated in calamine lotion. They’d obviously found it, being 4 and 6 years old, they decided to do a bit of finger painting with it.

I get that, but I don’t entirely understand why his pants were off.

Yes, his penis had calamine on it too.

Being that it was the 90s, I do have a hilarious picture of them posing together with their Cali I e body art.”

4. Don’t do that!

“My oldest son was about 3 or so and was using one of those play kitchens. He had a little pot on the stove eye and, since I wanted to be an Engaged Mother, I asked him what he was doing.

“I’m cooking baby Jesus!”

He had indeed taken the baby Jesus figure out of one of my mother in law’s Nativity scenes, and had put him in the pot to cook.”

5. Be careful, boys.

“Caught my 5 yo son smushing his privates between the toilet lid and seat.

Also have a 3 yo son that needs an audience while he uses the bathroom and he’ll often start laughing bc he “has no penis” bc he’s pressing on it to try making it an inny.

Kids are weird.”

6. Pee soup, anyone?

“Toddler was “making soup” in a kitchen pot. Comes up to me and says, “Taste, mama! It’s pea soup!” And I take a pretend spoonful and say “yum, tastes good!” And then she goes “oh I have to make more!”

And puts the pot on the floor and squats over it and pretends to pee in it while making a “psssshhh” sound.

Pee. It was pee soup.”

7. Well, that’s disgusting.

“My oldest when he was 3 1/2 walks out of his room with a big rolled ball. I thought nothing of it as they (lil bro 2) had a little play dough station and were playing nicely while I was cooking.

He proudly holds it up and tells me “look at my ball!” “Awesome!” Then announced loudly, “it’s a poop ball!” … cue the slight horrified look and immediate washing, scrubbing and locating of anything played with.”

8. That’s a hairball.

“When my son was about 5, he was playing in the living room while I was making lunch. Suddenly I hear him making some weird retching noises, so I ran over to see what was happening.

He was on his hands and knees, rocking back and forth, and suddenly one of the cat’s toys – a little yarn ball – popped out of his mouth. I thought he’d been choking on it.

No – he’d been imitating Puss ‘N Boots coughing up a hairball from his favorite Shrek movie.”

9. Kids are weirdos.

“My son was licking my toe.

I asked him what he was doing, and he said ‘time traveling.’

He was three.”

10. A singer-songwriter.

“My daughter was in her room (about 4 years old) strumming her guitar singing “devil please come take my mother” and “don’t put them beans in your ears” my sister and I laughed until we cried.”

11. An artist in the making.

“Half an hour before a realtor was coming to do a showing of my house I was trying to sell, while frantically cleaning house, my 4-yr-old proudly came around the corner dragging a black marker along the wall.

I went around and found a long line all down the hall…around a corner…into his bedroom…and found the beginning creative squiggle-art behind the door.

I just had time to run and get the can of matching paint in the garage and run a paint brush over it all, then popped us into the car to get out in time before they came.”

12. Not creepy at all…

“Walked into the kids playroom and the three of them (5, 3, and 2) were holding a baby doll over the toy stove. Each of them were holding a plastic toy knife trying to saw off either a limb or the head.

A little creepy since my wife is pregnant again. Should I be worried?”

13. A creative act of revenge.

“I’m not a parent but my niece was very upset that her older sister wouldn’t turn the TV over when I was babysitting once. After about 10 minutes she pretended to be interested in the washing machine that was on at the time and sat in front of it and watched it like a TV. For an hour and twenty minutes…..

Her older sister watched the rest of her film but obviously wasn’t enjoying it. She was outraged that her little sister was having a great time watching wet clothes spin round and round.

It’s the most creative act of revenge I’ve ever seen.”

14. I got worms.

“I saw my kid, who was 4, in the backyard looking for bugs or worms. He grab something and put it in his mouth. I asked him about a few minutes later. He said he ate a worm. I laughed and asked why. He said he wanted to know what it tasted like. So I asked what did it taste like. He said it tasted like mud.

The next day I asked him if he really ate a worm. He replied “Yea” in the most defeated and embarrassed way any human could. Ya live, ya learn.”

15. Isn’t that adorable?

“A little girl I was babysitting was slowly stirring her bowl of chocolate ice cream into mush.

I asked her what she was doing, and she replied very seriously “I’m making poo-poo for God to put in people’s bottoms.””

16. Was your cousin Damien from The Omen?

“When my cousin was about 4 years old, caught him spraying hairspray into the furnace flames trying to “blow the house up.”

Good times.”

17. That is scary.

“I do a lot of secure transports between hospitals and psych facilities. I once transported an 8 year old kid who flushed his parents’ insulin because he knew they needed it to live.”

18. That’s not even remotely funny.

“A friend of mine in elementary school would literally beat up her mother. When her mother became pregnant, she would kick and punch her mother’s belly. She was like 10.

I remember my mom always stepping in if it happened while we were around, but it was like this poor woman was afraid of her own daughter and she just took it. Smh.”

19. Call the cops!

“Saw a young girl enter a store with her mom and throw a fit when she couldn’t get a Barbie doll. Her wailing caused a group of people to show up and things blew up when the girl decided to say that the woman was not her mom.

Police were called. I, being a young stocker at the end of my shift, told my manager that the girl came in with the woman and promptly clocked out.

Long story short, told to me by the manager the next day, the police sorted the situation and they left the property a few hours later.”

20. Good for the cat.

“My neighbour’s kid was burning ants to death with a magnifying glass. After a while he decided that ants were too boring so he tried to hold down his cat burn it with the magnifying glass.

Let’s just say the cat f**ked the kid up.”

21. Poor frogs…

“Toss a bucket of frogs onto the hot grills of a fire.

He was 9 at the time.”

22. A tantrum for the ages.

“Oh gosh the list could go on for me, but here is one incident that really irked me.

My sophomore year of college, my cousin asked me if I can take her two daughters (11 and 6) to the mall, because she was busy and the girls wanted to use their spending money. We go to the mall, I buy them ice cream, and they spend their money. As we’re leaving, we pass Claire’s and boy oh boy does the youngest want to check it out.

Now here is some backstory with these kids: their mom (my cousin) doesn’t punish them worth of s**t. I had their son throw a toy train at me once and all I got in response when I told his mom was “He’s 9 and you’re 19, just be the bigger person. He’s just a kid”. THAT kind of parenting.

Anyways I tell the 6yo that we can look but because she already spent her money, we weren’t buying anything. As SOON as we walk in, she goes up to something she wants and says “buy this for me.” When I say no she announces in the store “Fine then, I’ll just take it” and proceeds to walk out the door. I take the you back and tell her that we are going home.

Never have I seen a kid throw a tantrum like this in my life. The worst part was every time I tried to carry her or grab her hand she’d scream “Help me! Help me! I don’t know you!” The oldest kid records all of it and sends it to her mom, who then simply responds “haha, good luck!”

When we got home, my cousin told me “She wouldn’t have thrown the tantrum if you just got her the toy”. I was livid.”

23. Good job on the dad’s part.

“A neighbor’s kid would mercilessly throw their 2 cats into the pool.

The cats would fight and scratch, but that didn’t stop the boy from flinging the cats repeatedly into the pool and forcing them to “swim or drown.”

His father finally broke him of this behavior by throwing the kid in the pool, clothes and all, every time he caught his son torturing the cats.”

24. Humiliated in public.

“I was at Boston Market.

This kid smacked his mom’s butt. She was like no! Then he grabbed her skirt and in one move pulled it down to her ankles. She was in shock. The store was packed too. She couldn’t get her clothes up fast enough. I admired her for not running out the store though.

She got her chicken and left fuming.”

25. Dealing with a Prince.

“When I was an English teacher in China I had a 7 year old student called Prince. That was not just his chosen English name (which can be anything from Sally or Ben, to Supperman or JJ Kangaroo), but also a direct translation of his Chinese name, which gives you all the information you need about this child’s idea of his station in life and how he was treated by his parents.

This kid yelled at the other kids and me on a daily basis, threw fists if anyone got too close and once threw a (luckily light plastic) chair across the classroom at me. But the worst of all was the time that this kid screamed so much his throat started bleeding.

He had to go to hospital and couldn’t speak for a few days (which was a blessing), following which I was called into my boss’s office and told that his parents were blaming me for it. I told her how absolutely ridiculous that was and made it very clear that when the term rolled over I would not be teaching any class which he was in.”

26. What an awful kid.

“My neighbors kid who was about 10 or 11 used to lure stray dogs up to his porch then would tie the dog down and stick a firecracker those little black, black cats in the dogs butt and light it on fire.

The sheer yelping and screaming from the dog was horrible. Called the police and reported the kid like a thousand times. all the neighbors h**ed that boy and jumped on his parents over it.

His mom was a meth head always drugged out and his dad was a drunk and said well at least he isn’t a terrorist and blowing up buildings.”

27. Pyromaniac.

“Actually set fire to another child! Like doused him in gasoline then threw a lit match at him!

The kid has first and second degree burns, he’s still recovering.”

28. And here’s the female version of Damien.

“When she was around 6, my little sister poured liquid soap all over the floor at the top of the stairs. When asked why she did that she replied “to k**l mummy”.

Never been more terrified of a child in my life.”

29. Cute kid.

“A child pushing a shopping cart ran over my ankles then proceeded to spit on me after I asked him to go get his mother.”

30. That’s really bad.

“Snatch a white cane away from a blind person and ran away with it while their mother laughed and allowed it to happen.

The fun was short-lived however… A large burly man who also saw this happen marched straight up to the kid unceremoniously snatched cane away from it and very loudly told the mother what he thought of her (which wasn’t much).”

Yikes…kids are kind of…scary…

Now we want to hear from all the readers out there!

What’s the absolute worst thing you’ve ever seen a kid do?

Tell us in the comments!