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If you’ve ever been to a wedding and the feeling was just “off” the entire time, these AskReddit posts will sound familiar. Maybe the couple getting married weren’t the best match. Maybe their families were like oil and water. Whatever the reason, it’s never fun to be witness to an event that’s supposed to be about everlasting love and find yourself guessing when the divorce will happen instead.
Awkward…
1. Perfect!
“Attended a wedding where the bride talked, not about her love for him or how great he is, but more about how he changed so much of his personality for her & how that made everything perfect.”
2. Ring confusion
“The groom had the ring in his pocket but forgot which one and the bride visually annoyed said “That’s the kind of guy i’m marrying”.
They divorced within the year.”
3. Jailbird wedding
“I worked as a county prosecutor. I did a sentencing where the guy was sent to prison for about two years. As I was walking out of the courtroom his girlfriend asked the judge to marry her to her boyfriend, who was going to prison. Judge said she needed a marriage license and there was a two day waiting period (he was basically telling her not to marry the guy).
She pulls out the marriage license. The judge then says you need two witnesses. -she was alone. The dude’s attorney grabbed me by the arm and enthusiastically volunteered us to be the witnesses. The wedding went through and now I have a story for Reddit.
A side note: the guy was in an orange jumpsuit and was shackled (literally shackled) during the ceremony.”
4. Married…to someone else
“I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and right after the ceremony the bride told me this wasn’t actually a wedding because the groom couldn’t get married as he was still married to someone else. She was 3 months pregnant and was throwing a fake wedding to please her religious family and collect money/gifts.
So that was cool.
They “divorced” within a year.”
5. Pure disgust
“At the end of the ceremony she changed into an extremely fancy going-away outfit – tight and purple and laced up down the sides. He changed into an old t-shirt and shorts that reeked of stale student-bachelor sweat and said “Oh, I didn’t know we were dressing up.”
She gave him a look of the purest hatred and disgust.
They separated six months later.”
6. Time to relax
“The bride looked drugged up, and told me in confidence that she had broken her years-long sobriety with a bunch of Vicodin “to relax for the wedding.”
Sadly, she never went back to not using drugs.”
7. Uninterested
“Groom was sending texts to a very uninterested bridesmaid all night. Groom was also more interested in getting wasted with his buddies than being with the bride.
There were also red flags BEFORE the wedding. No surprise they were divorced in less than a year.”
8. Never again
“I was one of the bodyguards to a groom who was without a doubt the biggest asshole I’ve ever met. He was narcissistic , cruel, and so arrogant the fact that no-one had smacked him astounded me on a daily basis. The bride on the other hand was lovely. She was kind, empathetic, and one of the most intelligent women I’ve ever met. She was the only person who seemed to be actually control the monster of a groom.
So day of the wedding comes, and at first everything is going pretty well. It was an arranged marriage, and both families had really gone all out. Dancers, acrobats, singers – you name it, they had it. Bride even announces they’re going to donate the leftovers to the homeless.
Then Douchey McDoucheface brings out this group of actors who do a skit that’s a very thinly veiled ‘f-ck you’ to his enemies, many of who were friends or related to the guests (one was actually his fiancées ex, who’d died a couple of years back).
Groom then tries to get his uncle to take part, but he refused to be apart of his nephew’s bullsh-t. It was a pretty tense stand-off, but it got interrupted when they brought out the cake. I thought there wasn’t going to be any more drama, but then the groom ended up choking on his wine.
King’s Landing 300 AL, never again.”
9. Get it together
“Groom fainted three separate times during the wedding vows.”
10. Get it over with
“My brother-in-law had proposed to his girlfriend and they had set a date a few years years into the future. Suddenly they move it to just be a few months ahead. Ended up asking him on the wedding day what was the hurry and the answer wasn’t “she’s the one” or anything like that, not even close… He answered “I’m f**ked either way, so may just get over with it”
FYI, they where expecting a child together so they where indeed stuck with each other either way, but I was still a bit shocked over the answer.”
11. That’s not good
“Close family friend married a gal whom he had been dating less than a year. I didn’t go to the wedding, but my mother and brother did, Poor guy was standing at the altar for a good while when someone finally remembered to tell him that the bride was in the ER.
She finally showed up a couple of hours later and they get married. Less than a year later, they were traveling overseas when the wife decided she was going back early (he was there working so he had to stay).
When he got back, she’d cleaned out the apartment.”
12. Not a good sign
“My uncle having to be convinced by his buddies to stop doing blow in the bathroom so he could [cut] the cake with his future ex-wife.”
13. As a hockey fan, I love this
“The bride and grooms families got into a big fight about the Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Montreal Canadians during speeches, the place went silent and the head table went outside to to fight. It didn’t end up getting violent. But later the groom came in after another argument and cut the cake by himself. They are divorced now, but it did last longer than I thought it would (10 years).”
14. The real thing
“After party at a wedding. Sister said “Now that you’re married, you’ll see the true [bride’s name].”
Nasty divorce about 3 years later after having 2 kids. The bride is just insane but the groom still wants her. It’s been a couple years since the divorce and he hasn’t dated anyone since.
Divorced soon after the second kid’s birth.”
15. Try again
“It was his 6th wedding.”
