Have you ever fantasized about getting sweet, sweet revenge on an ex? Yeah you have…
These AskReddit posters are right there with ya… but they actually did it, and they sure aren’t shy about telling their stories.
#15. A Dish Best Served Cold
“I dated this man that I worked with for three months and we were completely infatuated with each other. It was a whirlwind of a romance and I was so naive in the game of love that I believed everything…until one day at work, under the wiper on my car, I saw there was an envelope that was addressed with my first name and inside, there was a wedding invitation between him and his fiancé. I was unknowingly a mistress and I decided to take matters into my own hands. I took the name from the invitation, found her number in his phone, called her to discuss, and we ended up making dinner reservations with him as our server. The look on his face when he walked up to the table satisfied me more than he ever did.”
#14. Abandoned at Denny’s
“We went on a vacation to Florida and I told her I knew about her taking money out of my account, using the car I bought her to go see her other boyfriend, and talking shit about me behind my back. I checked out of the hotel and left her at a Denny’s in Fort Walton beach. Yes she deserved it.”
#13. Simple, Yet Effective
“Ex was cheating on me so I fucked her mom and got her parents divorced.”
#12. She Took A Louisville Slugger To Both Headlights…And Got Sued
“Find out my girlfriend has been dating another guy while we’ve been together for 6 years, guy wasn’t the brightest since I asked him if he knew her a bit and he couldn’t put one and two together and went on and on about her. Broke up with her, the best part was how she reacted. By trashing or at least trying to trash my car with a bat, cracking a couple of windows, the windshield and giving it a few dents. The better part was when someone who can’t take even take the slightest of responsibility for their actions says that was obviously not her and later that I did it all myself and that it was all staged when it was all caught on camera. Suing her was the last interaction I’ve had, I really got a great laugh out of how much everyone I knew treated me like I was an asshole for doing so. “
#11. You Break My Heart, I Ruin Your Future
“Girlfriend got drunk and sent me pictures of her and her boy toy naked getting trashed together on her 18th birthday. The heartbroken 18 year old in me called the cops on her house for minor consumption and supplying minors with alcohol. She lost her scholarship and can’t afford to go to school now. She’s a waitress now and I graduate with my engineering masters soon.”
#10. Gorilla Glue
“Not me, but I had a friend who was (in)famous for glueing his ex’s and other enemies’ houses shut. Like all the way, sealing all the doors and windows with tons of Gorilla Glue.”
#9. This Guy Was Pissed
“Rode my bike past her house late one night after a late night meal with friends at a restaurant close to my house. As I was coming close to her house I decided not to wait to pee until I got home, so I got off my bike, opened up the milkshake cup I was carrying, peed in it, and tossed it into her jeep via drivers side window.”
#8. Bumpy Roads Ahead
“Went to the city to get drunk and watch the fireworks with my then-gf. She starts telling me how amazing I am and how in love she is with me. On the train ride back home, I’m using her phone to look something up and decide to take a peek at her text messages… she had been texting two other guys while we were out, telling them things like ‘I miss you babe’ and ‘I wish I was with you tonight’.
I didn’t confront her about it until the next morning. But when we were driving home from the train station, she fell asleep without her seatbelt on. I sped up and slammed on the brakes several times, causing her head to slam into the dashboard. She didn’t wake up, but she felt it the next morning.”
#7. Bi-Sexuality Has Its Perks
“I found out that my bf was cheating on me through one of his best friends, with some random other chick who was apparently hotter than me. So I went up to her one day, managed to convince her to become bi like me, and ended up fucking his girl.”
#6. Glitter Bomb
“I once made the mistake of sleeping with a roommate. It lasted for about 3 months before I decided that I wanted to take things to the next level. He treated me like a girlfriend in many ways already so I thought this would be no big deal. I was wrong. He told me that he didn’t want to date me because I wasn’t ‘trophy wife material’ and he didn’t plan on being that successful (enough to score a Twife at least) until he was 30. He then proceeded to take a girls virginity, knock her up, ask her to get an abortion and whine about it to me while asking for a booty call. I dumped a giant vial of fine purple glitter all over his bed and laundry/washing machine. The man hated glitter, what can I say. No Regrets.”
5. Helping The Homeless
“When my live in boyfriend of 5 years dumped me and kicked me out for some chick he’d been cheating with, I gave his credit card to a homeless man. Still feel no shame. None.”
#4. Who Wears Short Shorts
“My ex cheated on me so I put Nair on his dick while he was blacked out from drinking, and then wiped it and all the hair away. I must have left it on a little too long because it gave him a rash. He woke up thinking he had an STD because of that, plus all his pubes had fallen out. Then I lied and told him I had the clap and that he needed to go get rodded.”
Photo Credit: giphy
#3. Cheaters Never Prosper
“I changed my college plans so I could be with my high school sweetheart. Things were going well, we both joined Greek organizations and made really good friends. Fall of our senior year, I was planning on asking her to marry me over Christmas break (already got approval from her parents). A week or so before finals, I found out through one of her sorority sisters who I was really good friends with that she had sex with some guy at a closed Greek party. So she didn’t know I knew…well, She had her 3 hardest final exams in 2 days. The hardest was a Computer Database/Programming final (we were both Computer Science majors) and since I was taking it first, I basically told her that she could focus her studies on her two other finals and I would give her the answers to our Database final (Database professor had already told us he was gonna give the same final for all sections and if you cheat, it would only hurt the curve on the final). Long story short, I shifted the answers on the scantron by one (scantron was 80% of the test) before giving it to her. She failed horribly, professor saw the pattern of her missed questions, reported her for cheating, she didn’t tell on me because she thought she had just made a mistake when copying the answers down. As punishment, she had to take the next semester off (causing her to lose her ~$30K scholarship) and redo her fall semester next year. Punchline: When she got out of the dean’s office, she obviously came to me crying. My response: (sarcastically) ‘I’m so sorry. Maybe CheatingGuy’sName can help you next time.'”
#2. God May Forgive, But I Sure As Hell Don’t
“When I was married, my husband wanted us to go to church every Sunday and act like a happy family, but wanted to be hateful to me and cheat on me during the week. Everyone at church thought he was the greatest guy ever. One weekend, I figured out he was cheating on me while he was supposed to be on a fishing trip out of town. He did not call to check in. I sent a mass email to 100 people in the Sunday school class asking them to “pray” for him because I was “so worried” that I had not heard from him and he was out of town. The next day he called me and said that the guy he was supposed to be with had not shown up (I already knew the guy was at home, had talked to the guy, who must have told him). He said he stayed and camped and fished by himself and got so drunk he could not call home. So, I sent out a second email to the 100 church people and thanked them for their prayers, and said that he was fine, he had just been to drunk to dial the phone and call home. LMAO He was PISSED when he found out. Did not want his cover blown.”
#1. The Ultimate Betrayal
“I changed my Netflix password.”
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