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You know as well as I do that kids can be just plain weird.
And teachers REALLY know that to be a fact. Because they deal with those little weirdos…I mean adorable children…on a daily basis.
And the weirdness really comes out when the kids are asked to share something about themselves, which I’m sure you remember fondly.
Let’s see what people on AskReddit had to say about this.
1. Drunk dad.
“I had a student tell me that sometimes his dad got drunk and asked his mom for things.
As I was starting to tell him he didn’t need to elaborate any further, he continued with “like soup and he yells it like ‘soooooooooup’” it took every bit of restraint to not laugh.
It’s been years and years since that happened but I still laugh when I think about it.”
2. Takes the cake.
“I teach middle school, This one still takes the cake.
That his mom and dad have the same parents. I asked him to clarify because I didn’t understand what he was saying and he said “I only have one set of grandparents, they had the same parents”
I quickly moved to the next student so no one else would realize that this kid just told the class that his parents were siblings…
I talked to him about it the next day in private and he said that he got it mixed up, his parents don’t have the exact same parents, they shared a dad…
I felt so much better when the mom called me to let me know her elderly step-father married her husband’s elderly mother. still weird, but much better.”
3. Wow.
““My arm is F*CKED y’all” in the deepest southern drawl and proceeded to wildly swing his “f*cked” up arm around.
He was 12, had Erb’s palsy and also got detention that day.
He might be one of my fav students.”
4. That’s odd.
“Student told me that there is a chapter dedicated to him in a dental surgery textbook because of a very rare disorder that he had as a child.
I may still have that essay.”
5. Oh, no!
“During an introductory activity for my new class, a boy, aged 9, got up and said ‘My dog has to wear a cone on its head because dad had his bollocks cut off!'”
6. Don’t ask any more questions.
“Kid in my kindergarten class said “My pee-pee fell off at Disneyland”
I didn’t ask any follow up questions.”
7. Horrible.
““I found my dad who hung himself”
From a fifth grader.”
8. Family drama.
“A few years ago on the first day of school, this kid in one of my classes casually answered, “I have a restraining order against my Dad.””
9. Too much info.
“‘My dad clogged the toilet this morning and that’s why I’m feeling frustrated’ -5 year old child.
I will say the question was “how are you doing this morning?” But I could barely keep from laughing out loud!”
10. Starting early.
“A young girl, who seemed uninterested, said, with no hesitation, that she can chug an entire bottle of beer.
She got expelled later that year for keeping drugs in her locker.”
11. Shane.
“This guy in my class named Shane has this medical condition that causes him to grow tons of hair at an early age.
Full beard in middle school.
He would say “I’m Shane and I’m Very Hairy.””
12. You know what that is.
“A student once told my wife that her daddy had a special device that he had to blow into to start his truck…”
13. That’s awkward.
“We would do this weekly “how was your weekend” sort of thing where we’d sit in a circle and share.
This one girl casually goes “I found out that my biological father didn’t want me” in a super nonchalant tone and everything.
I still remember the awkward tension.”
14. Don’t say that!
“I said “my dad steal cars.”
It was something my parents always told us growing up as a joke. The teacher just laughed and said “that’s nice”.”
What’s the funniest or weirdest thing that you’ve heard a kid say?
Tell us in the comments!
We’d love to hear from you!
