As an author, I read true stories all the time that I think I could never use in a book because readers would roll their eyes and call it unbelievable. It must be frustrating to be the owner of one of those stories and never be able to tell them without people thinking you’re a liar, right?
These 13 people have exactly those kinds of tales, and if you say you’re not curious to hear them, I’d say you’re the one who’s not telling the truth.
13. Huh. So it only takes one.
I saw a bird unscrew a lightbulb once.
Yep. Just 1. It worked at it for a long time.
12. Witchcraft.
I knocked a cup of coffee off my counter and caught it and no coffee spilled out of it.
11. She knows what she saw.
Short story: birds + sockets don’t mix.
Long story: I was 5 & we’d just moved to a new house. My mom had sent me outside to play while she unpacked stuff. The house had recessed can lighting under the eaves on the outside. There was a bird in one of the light fixtures trying to unscrew a bulb (presumably to build a nest or something, but it was in the fall). It was using its wings, feet, & body pressure to work the bulb around. I went inside like 5 times trying to get my mom to come outside to look, help me scare of the bird, help the bird or whatever. I was constantly met with the response of “[my name] birds can’t unscrew lightbulbs, go play.”
It eventually got the bulb unscrewed, but the bulb flipped upside down & blocked the hole on the light fixture. Unfortunately, Birdy electrocuted itself. I went inside & told my mom “Well, it got it out.” Then went back to play. She laughed it off assuming it was just part of a make-believe story or something.
My dad came home, I pointed it out to him. He got the ladder, fixed the bulb & removed the body. Both parents were sad they didn’t get to see a bird unscrew a lightbulb. It never happened again in the 15 years we lived at that house.
As a result, whenever my 4-year-old tells me I need to see something cool…I drop whatever & go look. Just in case it’s a bird unscrewing a lightbulb or something. Lol
10. A great cross to bear.
One time when I was a teenager I was playing pool with friends. The pizza arrived or whatever and I took one last shot just as everyone was leaving and sank like five balls.
It was the single best move I have ever made in any game I have ever played, but no one saw it and there was no way to take credit for it without sounding like a liar.
9. You can’t unknow this.
I saw a bee eat a piece of cheese. It was horrifying. I didn’t know it was possible.
Bees will eat human flesh if they get desperate enough, but it has to be already dead.
8. Anyone who owns goats would definitely believe this.
Was doing a service call at an equestrian farm. I went to the bathroom in the barn to take a leak, the door was slightly ajar and the light was off.
I pushed open the door and hit the light only to see a goat dressed in a fleece vest eating toilet paper off the roll.
He gave me this look like to say “wtf are you looking at?” I turned off the light and left.
7. I can imagine his face in this moment.
I once threw the inside of a pen at least 9ft clear across a room and skewered a fly that was annoying me.
Legit I felt like a ninja and have no way to prove it to anyone.
Not gonna lie It’s probably my peak and it’s all been downhill ever since.
6. That would have made me squeal.
Heath Ledger was sitting in my seat on an airplane when I was about 13 on a family holiday.
I knew him only from 10 Things I Hate About You at the time and it was my FAVOURITE FILM EVER.
He was in the right seat but on the wrong plane and jumped up and ran across the tarmac – simpler time, small airport in Spain. No one ever believes me!!
5. She has a type, I think.
My ex (American, met him in the US) and my other ex (Dutch, met him three years later in Argentina) work at the same office in Amsterdam. They are colleagues. I found out cause I saw a fb post in which they were at the same office (2 years after me and Dutchie broke up). And I still live in Argentina!
Also, some years ago, I was in a relationship with a guy. We lived together in a tiny apartment. The relationship ended in a terrible way. Four years later, I started dating another guy. He takes me to his house. It was the apartment I used to share with my ex.
And let me tell you, Buenos Aires is a HUGE city.
4. It’s almost like he knew…
Was in a bookstore once and my friend being a huge Doctor Who fan was looking at some Doctor Who books in the Sci fi section while I looked at Star Wars books.
I came around the bookcase to see what he was looking at and I started saying how boring Doctor Who is. I then started roasting particular actors who had played the Doctor. Especially Colin Baker. I was ripping into this guy and how shit of an actor he is and over acted everything and was just the worst Doctor ever.
My friend and I both looked up and standing where I had been standing 5 minutes before with this huge grin on his face was Colin f*cking Baker.
3. He must be a Jedi.
Was lying in bed watching a movie and too lazy to move.
Saw a small/harmless spider drop down from a thread on the ceiling obviously heading for the far side of my bed.
Even if it wasn’t venomous I didn’t want to share my bed with it, but also didn’t want to move; not thinking it’d actually do anything I reached out my arm towards it (but still quite a few feet away) and started waving my fingers at it in annoyance.
To my absolute surprise it immediately stopped its descent and actually retracted back up its line while I was sitting there in surprise.
Took me a couple of seconds to realise that my hand must’ve looked like the most giant freaking spider he’d ever seen standing on its back legs and waving the front 5 in the “F*ck off or I’ll wreck you” dance.
2. There’s a feather in your cap.
I was once arrested for “dueling”. That was the charge.
I went after my best friend with a knife and he came at me. The cops pulled up after about 5 minutes. We took off. They caught us. Charged with dueling.
He had f*cked my wife.
1. No one ever noticed.
I started out in the normal math class until my teacher realized I should switch to the advanced class because I got perfect scores on everything.
We were just about to start the chapter about telling time when I made the switch.
The advanced math class already knew how to tell time. I had all digital clocks at my house.
I didn’t actually learn how to tell time til I was about to start high school and thought I should learn
I could read these all day long, y’all.
What’s a story you have that no one ever believes? Share it with us in the comments!
