I know my answer to this question!
If someone gives me WAY too much information about themselves or their problems the first time I ever meet them, I know that they are most likely a bit of a train wreck and they’re not exactly someone I’d love to be friends with.
But that’s just my take on it…
What subtle things people say are red flags?
AskReddit users shared their thoughts.
1. Take no for an answer.
“I used to go to the bar after work with coworkers. One of the managers didn’t go, but a coworker kept encouraging him to come out and party. He relented and said he’d come out for one drink.
At the bar, he took a sip and said “ah, I haven’t had a beer in 5 months”. No one else took notice of that, but it struck me. He was gone a week later after coming into work drunk and doing something inappropriate.
To anyone reading this: If someone doesn’t want to drink, accept no for an answer. They might have a very good reason to say no, and pressing them on it, especially when well intentioned, might make it much harder for them to say no.”
2. So rude.
“Never asking a question.
My husband realized his father never does this and now I can’t stop listening for this.”
3. No thanks!
“But you’re so good at it!
Aka, I’ll compliment you in the hope that you’ll take this task off my hands.”
4. Trashy.
“When people talk s**t on their spouses. Like even in the most subtle way it’s still not appropriate small talk.
If it’s my best friend and she’s telling me about a hardship or a fight, different.
But when I’m meeting you for the first time I shouldn’t be able to pick up that you dislike your spouse/SO.”
5. They won’t change.
“If they wronged you and say something like, “I’m such a terrible person, you should leave me.”
It’s them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you. They’re not going to change if you stay.”
6. Hipster logic.
“Asking what music you listen to, then immediately critiquing it, especially when you like mainstream stuff.
I guess this applies to stuff other than music but that’s what annoys me the most.”
7. Uhhh, okay.
“Pretty much anytime somebody says something about themself when it’s not prompted or necessary.
Like “I’m an honest person”, “I’m a hard worker”, or “I’d never hit a woman”.”
8. Not cool.
““That’s just the way God made me,” as an excuse for being a jerk.
Like it’s just their personality and they can’t help it so we should all just accept it.”
9. Sketchy.
“Anything that exposes poor morals.
For example, “I’ll just say I never got it so they send me another one.”
When people show you who they really are, believe them.”
10. Lame.
“”Sorry I did this and that, It’s just my inner zodiac sign.”
Like, your zodiac sign doesn’t define you, you’re just being a sh**ty person and using that phrase as a cover up.”
11. Sketchy.
“Anyone who tries to convince you that you can trust them.
“Come on man, you can trust me. I’d never do that to you!”
People who are actually trustworthy don’t need to convince anyone of anything and they also know that real trust isn’t freely given to people you barely know and are not offended when they are not given it.”
12. Always the victim.
“When they are the victim in all of their stories.
I had a colleague who didn’t really have any friends outside of work. All of her stories were about how each of her friends had sta**ed her in the back at one time or another. She went travelling to Australia with 6 girls and left early because they didn’t want to do the things she wanted. It was glaringly obvious that she was the issue but still tried to play the sweet victim.
There is another girl from my high school who has gained quite a few followers on social media through sharing her stories of being bullied in school for being bald. No one can remember that ever happening, she was quite popular but had lost touch with her group as you do when you move away for college. Also, she was never bald.
Red flags when people enjoy pity.”
What red flags do you notice when people talk to you?
Fill us in in the comments!
We’d love to hear from you!
