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I don’t really care so much anymore now that I’m a little bit older, but when I was younger, I was very shy and hesitant to approach people I didn’t know to strike up conversations.
It can be really intimidating, don’t you think?
But today we’re gonna try to help you out.
People on AskReddit talked about how they start conversations with people they want to be friends with.
Here’s what they had to say.
1. Give them a head start.
“This is a Dale Carnegie trick.
You just notice something about a person, and it can be anything. People like to talk about themselves. Interesting coat/gear, car, interesting lunch, nice looking dog, I see you in the gym all the time, what program do you follow?
Not an inclusive list, but give them a head start. I am an introvert, and this has saved my a** again and again.”
2. You never know.
“I once complimented a dudes band-aid.
We were bros for the rest of the night.”
3. Things in common.
“In freshman orientation at college I noticed a guy had on a kit from a Premier League team. I don’t really know much but I had picked up a bit from my PL-fan sister.
So I asked him about it, then we do the whole introduction where-I’m-from stuff. Boom, friends.
We were even roommates the next year. It wasn’t a close friendship but that’s fine.”
4. Keep it light.
“Small talk.
You don’t have to go in and immediately get deep.
Just ask them about anything light and random.”
5. Might work!
“What’s your favorite food?”
And if you’re interested in them romantically you can later ask them on a date to a place that serves that food.”
6. Nice and easy.
“My usual go to is “so where are you from?”
If that one doesn’t yield too much conversation, I follow up with “so what brings you here?” If they aren’t from the area.
Conversation usually takes off from there.”
7. Pro tips.
“Ask questions. Show interest.
Figure out reasons to hang out over and over again.
Don’t be afraid to hang out just the two of you.”
8. It works!
“Find something in common with them. Compliment them.
“Hey I keep seeing you here, where you from?”
That kind of stuff.”
9. Gotta put yourself out there.
“If you’re in the same pottery class, ultimate frizzbee team, dog yoga group, dance squad, chinese checkers club, or runescape 2007 wilderness raid party, then just talk to them about the things you do together.
If you never do anything with others, well, that’s probably why you’re having a hard time making new friends.”
10. Music is good.
“I asked a goth kid if he liked “Cradle of Filth” and he said “Hell yeah, they’re pretty cool. How come?”
And, I told him I had just discovered them and was curious about what songs I should listen to and we started talking about them and then every day after that we just started talking about literally anything and everything.”
11. Good tactic.
“Give them a compliment on the thing that makes you want to be friends with them.”
12. To each their own.
“Funny story.
When I was a sophomore in high school most of my friends had graduated, (dunno why but I always was friends with seniors), so I was looking for some new friends.
Being the extrovert I am I knew in passing of this introverted guy with little friends I thought was kinda funny, knew nothing else of him. So I walked up to him in class one day and flat out said, “Congratulations I’m you new best friend, where are we eating at lunch today and what are you doing after school?”
He said ok, quietly. 10 years later he’s still my best friend, was best man at my wedding, was at hospital for birth of both my kids. Cool guy. Spent almost every day with the dude. He comes over often to hangout with the kids and me.”
Do you have any tips in this department that you’d like to share with us?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.
Thanks a lot, friends!
