I never thought I’d say this, but the older I get, the harder it is to make friends.
And, for some people, it can be hard to approach people and get to know them no matter how old you are.
But we’re gonna try to help you out in that department today.
How do you start a conversation with someone you want to be friends with?
Here’s how AskReddit users responded.
1. Make a connection.
“The easiest way I’ve found to make new friends is to connect with them on something they are interested in. I use it all the time at work to build relationshipstoo.
If I have a new employee coming to my team I will watch and see what they are into. Even if I don’t know anything about it, or it’s not something I’m really into I will take a little bit of time to research it so I can casually bring it up and they usually light right up.”
2. Let it flow.
“Casually, just start a conversation and let it flow. Start with a simple topic about plans for the weekend, and just build upon that.
It’s really not that hard.
Just figure out something that you and this person have in common and connect on that.”
3. Try it!
”
Here’s what I do. There’s an acronym FORD, meaning Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams. You can draw on one of those ideas for conversation topics.
I live in a city that has a lot of transplants (San Diego). So if I meet someone new, I ask if they grew up here. If yes, then I ask which school they went to, or what their favorite thing they enjoyed about growing up here. If not, they I ask where they’re from, what brought them to San Diego.
They I’ll ask what they like doing for fun, what their passions are. Do they like surfing, camping, biking, hiking. I hope for a response with similar interests to my own. I enjoy biking, so if they say they enjoy biking, I’ll ask where they like to go, and what kind of biking (beach cruising, road biking, mountain biking).
The point is to find common areas of interest. So if I find someone who enjoys the same things I do, then I have that “in” to a relationship. If they say they like road biking, then I can say, “Hey my friend and I go biking on Saturdays. Would you be up for joining?”
If they say yes, then you can get their number, and you can start hanging out, and soon enough, you’re friends!”
4. Refreshing.
“I had someone come up to me in a yoga class and ask me my name, then he said, “ I like you, we’re going to be friends-I can tell.”
It was so refreshing and cool.”
5. You never know.
“Either make an honest compliment or statement about something you can immediately notice and trail into a conversation (hey I love those kind of shoes, but haven’t been able to find them anywhere. Where’d you get yours?)
Or look them up on social media (LinkedIn is a good one for clues to not creepy interests you can learn about someone – ex: professions, education, etc.) to have something to chat about.
There’s nothing wrong with that and more people do this than others realize.”
6. Shared experiences.
“Make a statement about a shared experience. Then ask a question. (Note: don’t be creepy)
If the person is interested, they’ll respond positively. If they don’t, move on.
“That was a tough workout class today. Are you enjoying the class?””
7. Say anything.
“Literally just say anything.
People don’t give a f**k. But if you’re lacking confidence aim for something neutral. Like about the TV show, or liking their shirt. It’s basic and easy.
You’ll figure out from there if there’s chemistry or not. It doesn’t always click with people. But you’ll find too that, with some people, you won’t mind working a little harder to try and click with. Some people are obnawkious, others are just meh. People don’t always vibe, or the vibe is a little different. Just roll with it.
But personally I say just improv. It’s much better to be in the moment, rather than planning and plotting lol. It just feels better and when/if (cause it happens to everyone) that you mess up, it’ll roll off quicker and you’ll adjust much easier.
Because you’re in the moment, which can be scary, but you aren’t concerned with scripts or ‘hacks’ or things like that.”
8. I’ve seen you around…
“How do you know you want to be friends? Most likely you have seen them more than once… what do you have in common?
School? A class? Gym? Bar? First show them, you won’t take up too much of their time…
“I’ve got a class in 5 minutes, but I wanted to ask you about the assignment” or “ What do think of Strohmans pitching” or whatever is related to what you have in common.”
9. Simple!
“I’ll give you an example, how I met one of my close friends over 10 years ago.
“I like your shoes”.
We were in 6th grade. He had Velcro shoes, and my mom always made me get laces, so I was jealous of how cool his shoes were.
He looked at me like I was crazy. We’ve been friends since.”
10. Good energy.
“I always finding myself easily becoming friends with people who have the energy that makes it feel like you have known them forever even before meeting them.
To me its all about the energy and hype you bring to them.”
11. Sincerity works.
““Hey Friend.”
I literally had a new neighbor walk up to me and say this by way of introduction, with a sincere smile on her face, when I bought my house 8 years ago.
It was an incredible ice breaker. It paved the way to a terrific relationship.”
12. Be casual.
“My best friend became my best friend in the middle of a rain storm while she laughed at the mascara running down my face.
Just be yourself, jump into a conversation, make a joke.
Be casual about it.”
How do you like to start conversations with people you want to befriend?
Give us some tips in the comments.
Thanks in advance!
