There are some professions in this world that just lend themselves to hearing other people’s secrets, and while we assume bartenders and doctors are going to hear more than their fair share of juicy details, we think less about cab drivers.
I think that in the age of cell phones, they might even be more likely to hear stuff that’s none of their business – and these 17 are ready to dish.
17. He’ll never forget it.
Used to uber on the side, here in Ottawa. Honestly, one could surveil both business and government here while driving an Uber if they wanted to. You could run 3 drivers and get intelligence about just a ton of things happening night and day.
I definitely heard a ton of things, but the one that got me was about businesses closing and firing every one of its 200 employees months before it happened. It sucked for me when that one hit the news. I was there when they made the decision.
Sweet things happened too. A woman had a fun dinner with her best friend and got in the passenger side first and said to me “watch this, I just found out I’m pregnant today, going home to tell my husband, but she’s going to me the first to know.” “After me. . . .?” “Oh my god! That’s right, you’re the first I’ve told. I’m totally freaking out right now.” “It’s cool. No big deal.”
Anyway, 5 min later they’re joking about it with me and she asks me my name. I tell her and she’s like “It was between that and Andrew for the middle name. This is a sign! It has to me (my name)!” “What if it’s a girl?” “She’ll be a badass with a male middle name like Michael Burnham.”
Coolest, sweetest conversation of my life.
16. Sometimes you just don’t want to know.
I work uber black in Los Angeles, picked up a customer round midnight from a flight from Mexico to lax,, had 2 stops, 1st stop he waited for some “compadres” who loaded 5 duffel bags in my suv, 2nd stop was from L.A To San Jose! 6hr drive!
After $2500 fare and $400 tip, I never dared asked what was in those bags!
15. Oh my god.
Uber driver. I pick a dude up from a strip club, a well known local celebrity. His drop off is an affluent neighborhood in the foothills.
As I pull into the driveway a half naked middle aged woman in lingerie is standing by the garage. He says ‘this is close enough’ so I stop about 20 yards from the woman.
She cracks a whip and points to the ground at her feet. This dude gets out and on hands and knees in his Armani suit starts crawling toward her.
She cracks the whip again and points at me, ‘you’re next’.
14. That’s interesting.
When my dad was driving a taxi in the 80s he said he picked up Meatloaf with a giant stuffed alligator at a bar.
While stopped at a light Meatloaf offered him cocaine from a hidden pouch in the alligator that was also stuffed with more cocaine and cash.
13. This is unbelievable.
My uncle was a cab driver in LA. One day he picks up 2 guys who then discuss a murder they are going to commit. After a while they begin discussing whether they should also kill the cab driver because he heard them talking about the plan and could identify them.
They eventually decided not to, but that was the day my uncle decided to stop being a cab driver.
12. Bless his heart.
An 18 year old lad, regular customer, was stressing over his exam results and told me seriously if he’d failed that his life was over and he would commit suicide. He was completely serious, apparently his parents had been putting string pressure on him.
I brought him home and called his father out of the house, by this time the poor lad was in tears. I said to him that he should tell his dad what he’d told me, by this time the father was distraught. I let them both talk for a bit right there and then the father got him out of the car and brought him inside.
The update was that he told his parents the whole story, they were horrified and got him into therapy. I’ve no idea whether he passed the exams or not but I do know he was all right afterwards.
I was very shook up about it. The situation could do easily have gone wrong and I take no credit at all.
11. Quite the reveal(s).
That he was cheating on his wife with his cocaine dealer, who came from the same country as I did (which is how the conversation got started) and it had been going on for 25 years.
I dont know what impresses me more, a 25 year affair or a 25 year cocaine habit.
To clarify since a lot of you are speculating, the dealer was a woman. Quite good in bed too, from his detailed description. It was my first fare of the night, the first time working there as a “cab driver”. I was helping out a friend of my dad’s who owned a bar deep in Ontario, CA by driving his regulars home.
Fun times, lot of fights, incredible amounts of shenanigans between the patrons, and incredibly loud corridos blasting from the speakers all throughout the night.
10. True regrets.
I’ve worked for Uber and once a passenger, a clearly intoxicated lady, told me she should have married her brother-in-law, cause her husband had a tiny dick and was much less handsome, but because the husband was also far richer, she married him.
I hope she doesn’t remember she told me that, she’s probably mortified to this day if she does.
9. A horrible smell.
I worked incident support for a Kinda Shouldn’t Name Ride Company that rhymes with Shoober. It tended to be either rider complaining a driver did X to them or a driver complaining a rider threw up in their car etc.
This one dude called incident support to tell us that following picking up a fare – a dude with two huge duffel bags in the boot – his car was written off and therefore couldn’t work with aforementioned car.
Turned out the dude had gotten a ride at 2am, put the duffel bags in the trunk, told the driver he’d done something he really regretted but couldn’t go back on, took the ride to an underpass with a river and threw the duffel bags into the river.
Driver called the police first, mostly to tell them a dude was being weird as hell. After a brief search of the river for the bags the police found riders murdered cut up girlfriend in the bags.
The smell was so bad in the car that the cleaning crew couldn’t remove the smell or stains after the police forensics exam. The insurance company wrote off the car.
8. Kindly kidnapped.
Two medical professionals, one of them talked to his colleague about when he was “kindly kidnapped” out of the hospital.
Two guys that took him to a mansion outside the city and asked to examine the heart condition of a man who seemed to be a local mafia boss that was wanted from the law.
They somehow provided him with all the tools and help and made him operate the boss. They finally let him go and paid him with a big sum of cash saying they would contact him again for anything else.
He said it was of the scariest yet most interesting experiences in his life.
7. People, man.
How a guy gambled away his house payment for the month and didnt know how to tell his wife.
a pregnant girl going to a side pieces house for the night saying it might be the last time for a while
6. Extended warranties?
Two guys talking freely about their scam op and going into the specifics of how to get the most out of it.
The scam has something to do with cars and I can’t remember what it was I just remember them saying that it got them around $20mil
5. Hate that for him.
I used to drive for Uber for about a year. Never had any crazy secrets. The craziest ride I had was after this kid who in his late teens and needed a ride on Thanksgiving evening after he got beat up by his dad and brother.
His dad came out of the house and stood in front of the car. I backed out of there with the kid and took him an hour, hour and a half away from there to his gf’s house. I felt bad for the kid, apparently he was trying to reconnect with his estranged family and it apparently didn’t work out.
I’m just glad I could get him to a safe place.
4. That’s really something.
A 50 year old man admitted to me that he doesn’t know how to cook and doesn’t have the time to do it, so he’ll sneak out late at night to get leftovers from his mother’s house.
3. I’d say he earned it.
Driving a fare to th airport. Hit a large piece of black ice. Cab skidded hit a guardrail. Careened off another car that had flipped. White knuckled the shit out of it. Skidded safetly into the berm. Called my buddy to come get me. Took the fare to the airport.
While we were going to the airport. They fare asked me “why was driving a cab?” I told him I was saving up for a car. I was 22 and broke. Handed me his card and told me to call him tomorrow. I did.
Fare was fleet manager for Hertz. Sold me a used rental car for peanuts. Side note. My son drives it, while at college. Thank you Mr. Vance.
2. That sounds amazing.
My best ride was Michael Fassbender (actor) Lax to BH, he treat in n out burger and we karaoke all the way to hotel (he said his dream as a teen was to be a rock star) coolest guy ever!
1. Amazing.
Once drove three teenage girls. At the end of the trip I knew everything about their friends’ sexual life. Who had slept with who, with or without condom. Who had infected who with chlamydia.
And so on ad nauseam.
I can’t believe the things people share with strangers.
If you’re someone who hears random secrets, pass them along in the comments!
