I think most of us want to say that lying to our partners is never the way to go – and never our first instinct – but anyone who has been in a serious relationship for a significant amount of time knows that sometimes it’s best for everyone if the truth just stays on mute.
This woman, for instance, has opposite feelings about exercise from her partner. He loves it, she hates it, and so she just lets him believe she’s committed to getting into better shape when she’s not.
She begins by saying they have two young children and that her partner loves all things associated with exercise, especially anything he can do outdoors with his older son.
OK so here’s the basics, I (27 F) have been married to my husband (34M) for two years. we have two kids (11m, he’s adopted and 1m). And he’s a super fit guy.
He likes to go camping, hiking swimming etc with our adopted son, i think that’s why he wanted to adopt a kid tbh.
Things started to go south when their family went on an outing that ended because OP couldn’t keep up. She admits she hates everything about exercising, and with a baby at home, has prioritized other things.
Her husband was angry, saying since she stayed home he thought she was keeping herself in shape.
I am not overweight or anything, but I’m not exactly in good shape. We tried to go on a family camping trip last fall but after about an hour i was just destroyed and we had to go back to the car. I hate working out, I hate being sweaty and working hard.
But he was really upset with me. He thought that i was keeping in shape during the day because I’m a stay at home mom, he doesn’t understand how much work a baby is.
He works in IT so he spends all day sitting, not on his feet.
She said she would start going to the gym so he began paying for a babysitter and her gym membership.
She never went and he confronted her after speaking with someone at the gym who claimed they’d never seen her inside.
She said she wasn’t comfortable and would join an all-female gym instead, even allowing him to track her phone to prove that she was actually going.
I know.
Now, I promised to get in better shape, so he started paying for a professional child career to come over and look after the baby for two hours a day to give me a break, and signed me up for a gym.
But after a month he came home angry and told me he talked to the gym and they hadn’t seen me come in once. I told him it was a mixed gym and I’m not comfortable working out around men.
I promised him I’d join curves and actually work out, and offered him he could track my phone to prove i was going. He already insists on tracking our older son’s phone, and lets me and our son track him. but ive always made excuses.
I just think it’s creepy and controlling.
Except…she never went in that gym, either. She spent the free time in her car or the coffee shop nearby because despite everything, she still hates exercise.
So i drive to the gym and i think… i hate the gym. i hate working out, and I’m an adult god damn it! So I just waited in my car. sometimes i wait in the café next to the gym or something. But i just haven’t gone to the gym at al for the last two months. And he keeps asking me how I’m feeling and i keep saying it’s great and I’m enjoying it.
But yesterday he was waiting for me when i came home. he asked me how the gym was and i said it was great. he asked if i have any problems and i said no. asked me if i showered at the gym and i said yeah,. then he pulled out my gym bag.
he took it out of my car two days ago. he realized i never washed my gym clothes .
He confronted her with her back of unused gym clothes and is now sleeping on the couch because he’s mad her for lying (and probably for not working out).
He’s pissed, says I lied to him . i told him he kept pressuring me and it’s making me really uncomfortable. He’ been sleeping in his home office for the last week.
I don’t get the big deal, i told him i’ll go to the gym for real but he says he doesn’t care anymore and walks away
Is she in the wrong? Let’s hear whose side Reddit is on down in the comments!
The top comment says that yes, OP is the a$$hole…but to herself.
Image Credit: Reddit
Plenty of other moms of littles chimed in, because they’re on OP’s side.
Image Credit: Reddit
He’s basically punishing her with something she hates on the little time off she gets.
Image Credit: Reddit
This person thinks there’s plenty of blame to go around.
Image Credit: Reddit
More than a few people came down on the side of “everyone sucks here.”
Image Credit: Reddit
I think this woman’s partner is definitely displaying some red flags, but she’s also lying instead of standing up for herself.
If these were your friends what advice would you give them? Tell us in the comments!
