Bridesmaid causes a scene after the couple denies her a plus one
For a lot of people, being asked to be a bridesmaid or groomsman is a tremendous honor. Being part of pre-wedding festivities, standing at the altar when the “I do’s” are said, and just being part of the couple’s entourage is all part of the fun. At least it’s supposed to be.
One bridesmaid was fully expecting to be able to invite her boyfriend as her plus one, but as she quickly realized, this request was denied because the bride, groom, and a separate wedding guest had other plans.
Will You Be My Bridesmaid?
User Particular_Visual_14 posed her question to Reddit regarding the events that unfolded at a wedding she was asked to be part of.
When a person is asked by the couple to be a bridesmaid or groomsman, there is an expectation that if they’re married or in a relationship, they will receive a plus one. However, that’s not what this bridesmaid was told.
There’s A Catch
She explains that out of the entire wedding party, she’s the only one who didn’t receive a plus one. Why is this a problem? It’s because she has a boyfriend—whom she calls “one of the most important things in my life”—and apparently, that level of affection isn’t felt by the bride and groom.
“I was told it was because my relationship wasn’t ‘serious’ enough despite us being together for a year. That only engaged or married couples were invited. And that they didn’t want ‘some random guy’ in their wedding pictures who ‘I might not even be with’ later in the future.”
Wedding Day
On the day of the wedding, the user says that when she arrived at the ceremony site, something didn’t look quite right. Apparently, everyone in attendance was there with a plus one, including couples who’ve been dating for less time than her and her boyfriend.
“I smiled and played my part during the ceremony but inside I was very surly and angry.”
The Reception
She soon finds out, however, that things are about to get much worse. At the reception, she notices that everyone has a plus one, including “more distant friends.” At her table, she was surrounded by happy couples and is the only single guest, which others soon noticed.
Surrounded by other members of the wedding party and acquaintances, they begin to ask why her boyfriend couldn’t make it to the wedding. She says that it’s because he wasn’t invited, and then explains “this is when I started letting my surliness show and started acting rude and mean because I was humiliated.”
Playing Matchmaker
Things suddenly come to a head when some guests invite her into a conversation with them and their friend Dean, who apparently has a crush on her, but in the past she has made it perfectly clear that even if she were single, she’s not interested.
“But now the people who ‘brought me into [the] conversation’ with Dean were like standing around staring at us and giggling behind their hands. Like they thought they were Cupid matchmakers,” she explains. “Dean was absolutely a participant in this.”
Telling Dean Off
Dean tried to swoon her by calling her beautiful and made an attempt at a pickup line by saying that there was something wrong with his phone and that it was the fact he didn’t have her phone number (eye-rolls myself into another century). After being repeatedly disrespected, the bridesmaid finally went off on an expletive-filled tirade against the so-called Romeo.
“I was meaner to Dean than I’ve ever been to anyone in my entire life. I was as fully rude as I’ve ever wanted to be when being the target of someone’s romantic interest unwantedly.”
Reaching A Boiling Point
Afterward, she finishes her meal and as soon as she’s done, picks up her purse and leaves the venue to go to her boyfriend’s house. She leaves before the majority of the reception, like the speeches and cake cutting, has begun.
She adds that the couple later reached out to her saying they were “hurt and confused” about why she left so early but has so far refused to reply. She then asks Reddit if she’s in the wrong.
The Bridesmaid Is In The Right
Reddit voted overwhelmingly in favor of Particular_Visual_14 and declared that she was not at fault for how the wedding transpired. Most applauded her for how she handled the situation and said that she has the right to feel angry and hurt.
“It was a brilliant power move that showed him you are NOT a doormat to walk on. You have boundaries and by God, they WILL be respected,” wrote one user. “When he tried to hide behind the script of ‘women won’t make a scene,’ you flipped it on him and stapled it to his forehead. Well done.”
Three’s Company
The same however could not be said of the bride, groom, or Dean. Users chastised the trio for denying her a plus one in order to set her up with Dean, despite already being in a relationship. They add that after a betrayal like this, she needs to dump them faster than a bag of hot garbage.
“It was deliberately set up to make it so you were socially pressured to be nice to him,” writes one user. “Dean and everyone involved in this was leveraging the social contract against you in order to get you to do something that they knew you wouldn’t want. It’s gross and manipulative and the only correct response is doing what you did.”
Share Your Thoughts
So now that you have all of the facts, what is your opinion? Do the bride, groom, and Dean solely share the blame for the wedding being ruined? Was the bridesmaid too easy on them and should she have caused a bigger scene to teach them a lesson? Should the bridesmaid have just kept her cool at the wedding, or should she have declined to attend once she learned she wouldn’t get a plus one in the first place?
