Wife tells husband to turn down “dream job,” threatens divorce

Compromise is key to making a marriage work. Although each party should independently work on their success and career and be given an equal chance, sometimes one has to make a sacrifice to advance the other.

In this case, user ThrowRa67129ka90ma didn’t know if she was in the wrong to ask her husband to refuse an offer for the job of his dreams if it meant the end of her career.

She Is The Breadwinner

The 33-year-old woman is the breadwinner of their household.

She used a series of specialized degrees to work in a niche industry where she makes 200k+with potential to triple that.

The Husband Has Been Moving Jobs

On the other hand, her 36-year-old husband has a broader degree and work experience. He quit his job and was looking for a better one with her support.

Finally, after months of applying, he landed an interview for his dream job, which would pay about 65k a year.

The Husband Is Putting His Wife’s Job At Risk

The wife wants to be supportive of her husband’s new job offer but it puts her job stability at risk.

“My company and this organization are adversarial, at best. My field is extremely secretive, and if clients discovered my spouse was working for a competitor, I would be permanently tainted. I wouldn’t be able to get a job in the industry forever. “

There Is A Conflict Of Trust

Since the wife’s job is super secretive, she used celebs and TMZ as an example.

“It’s like if I worked in protecting the privacy of celebrities, and he worked for TMZ. If he tapped my car, got into my work devices, he could use that to advance his career, and any trust I have in this field will be gone. ” She says that even if she trusts her husband, her clients and company won’t.

She Wants Him To Turn Down The Job

The wife’s background is so specialized that this is the only field she can work in, so she asked her husband to drop the job.

She fears she’ll lose her income and his salary alone won’t be enough to support them both. She feels as though his broad background will give him access to a wide range of jobs.

He Called Her Selfish

When she confronted her husband, he got angry and told her that she was selfish and only cared about money.

“I told him that if he wanted to go back to school for an advanced degree or just be unemployed for a while, I would support him, but taking this job isn’t possible.”

The Husband Got The Offer Anyway

Unfortunately, the husband continued the application process behind the wife’s back and even got offered the position officially.

He still wants to accept it as he feels that it will advance his career. She explains, “he says his career needs to take priority and that I wasn’t being a supportive wife.”

The Wife Notified Her Superiors

The wife felt really betrayed, as she now had no choice but to contact her superiors in the company to inform them of her husband’s decisions.

She thought that notifying them as soon as possible would be better than them finding out from doing a background check.

She Resulted To Giving Him An Ultimatum

The wife felt no choice but to give her husband an ultimatum.

“I told him he could decline the offer, with me watching him physically decline it, or he could accept the offer and move out immediately. I would pay for him to stay two weeks at a hotel, and we would begin divorce proceedings. My company is willing to take care of all of my legal fees.”

The Wife Is Devastated

The wife concludes the post by getting a little personal about her feelings.

“I feel awful. I still love him. I moved decisively because this was the best way to cut my losses, but it still hurts.” Her husband feels that she has been heartless and cold, and even prioritizing her career over his.

Reddit Mostly Sided With The Wife

Many users pointed out that it was unfair of the husband to go behind his wife’s back and risk her entire career for a job offer. One pointed out: “He already went behind her back. Who’s to say he won’t go behind her back to steal information?”

Another person concluded “he seems to have decided a job offer is more important than your entire career. We frequently see people unnecessarily prioritize their careers over their spouses when compromise is possible. However, he’s refusing compromise.”

Maybe she made the right decision after all.