New dad livid when his parents perform a DNA test on baby
It’s a joyous celebration when a new baby is welcomed into the family. Although, as many people know, there’s often one relative who causes toxicity in the family dynamic, and it can be painful to know when to walk away for your or your family’s well-being.
One user took to Reddit to get perspective on one of these family dilemmas, and it involves himself as a new father, his wife whom his parents don’t trust, and their newborn baby of which the grandparents question the paternity.
Setting Boundaries
When it comes to our family and friends, it’s important to set social boundaries, especially if there are children involved.
There is nothing a parent won’t do for their child when it comes to their happiness, so when relatives overstep those concrete boundaries, parents often have to make ruthless decisions about how to respond. If the breach of trust was particularly unforgivable, sometimes, they even completely sever the relationship.
The Reddit Post
One new dad had to learn a lesson the hard way when it came to his family.
Reddit user PaperBackWriter00 took to a subreddit following a potentially relationship-ending fight with his parents, and now he’s wondering if he went too far. What could have possibly sparked such a fight that this new dad wanted to go no contact with his own parents? It involves a secret DNA test.
Love At First Sight
The dad explains that he met his wife Sonya at a restaurant where she worked as a server. Eventually, the two begin dating, but when he introduced Sonya to his parents, they were met with disapproval because his parents thought that “Sonya is only using me to achieve her American dream.”
He eventually proposed to Sonya and they received a familial blessing from her parents. The dad’s parents, however, refused to bless the marriage. Because of this, the couple decided to elope.
Two Becomes Three
After two years of marriage, the couple welcomed their first child—a baby boy named Garreth. The dad says that his parents reached out and met their new grandson a few days after the birth.
One day while grandma was playing with the baby, the dad heard her utter something bizarre. She said, “Aren’t you the cutest baby ever? I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson.” Confused, the dad presses his mother about what she meant.
A DNA Test
His mother then confesses they had Garreth’s DNA tested to prove he was his biological son. “I was speechless for a moment…and they better leave before I lose whatever respect I had left for them,” he said.
The grandma tries to explain it was because Garreth looks nothing like his dad and they don’t trust Sonya. She was in the kitchen and unaware of the situation, but he later comes clean about why the grandparents hadn’t visited. He says Sonya has repeatedly tried to win her in-law’s approval, so this revelation “broke [his] heart.”
Am I In The Wrong?
The couple decides that after this breach of trust, they can no longer allow his parents into their son’s life. When Grandma eventually called to ask when they could visit their grandson again, the dad said they’re no longer welcome. Grandpa was livid and called him “ungrateful and cruel” and had “a few choice words about my wife which angered me more.”
The dad then asks Reddit, “Am I the a-hole for not letting my parents into my son’s life after they secretly tested his DNA?”
Dad Did The Right Thing
Reddit voted overwhelmingly in favor of the dad and that above all else, he was protecting his family from an unforgivable breach of trust, and that as a new husband and father, his priority is his wife and baby.
“‘Your family unit is your wife and child. Everyone else is extended family.’ Once you become married, you establish your new family unit. The one you chose, rather than being born into. I wish more people understood that,” wrote one user.
Toxic Relatives
The same admiration could not be said of the grandparents, however. Reddit felt that the grandparents were 100% at fault, and the reason they no longer have a relationship with their son and grandson is because of their own actions.
“A relationship with loving, decent grandparents can benefit a child. A relationship with toxic, racist grandparents can harm a child. Part of parenting is protecting your child from harmful people, even if there is a familial/genetic connection,” wrote one user.
