People share the worst birthday gifts they’ve ever received
In life, you’re going to get a few underwhelming gifts—like an itchy sweater from a distant aunt, a letdown from Secret Santa, or something that just doesn’t suit you.
But these people experienced a whole new level of disappointment with some truly terrible birthday presents.
At Least She Could Commit Identity Theft?
“My (now ex) boyfriend spent days hyping up my birthday gift, so I was really excited. On my birthday, he handed me a small, flat box. Inside was a passport—his passport. That was it. No plane tickets, no talk of a future trip we’d plan together. He literally gave me his own passport as a gift.”
Is She Trying To Send Him A Message?
“This year, my mother-in-law went all out wrapping a box of Ziploc bags for my birthday. For Christmas, it was a box of trash bags.
I honestly don’t know how I became the guy who gets little boxes of bags as presents. It kind of feels insulting.”
This Horrible Gift Killed Two Birds With One Stone
“An ugly shirt from my aunt, who said I had to share it with my sister—her birthday’s just 10 days after mine.”
As bad as the gift was, I think my sister ended up with the shorter end of the stick.
That Definitely Ruined The Surprise
“One year, I got an HR complaint from two employees arguing about how to throw me a surprise birthday party.”
Honestly, is there any worse gift than having to deal with extra HR paperwork?
Nothing Like A Broken Family, Am I Right?
“My dad accidentally let it slip that he and my mom were separating. He was on a weekend bender and didn’t realize he was texting me instead of her. Happy 18th birthday to me!”
Their Toolbox Must Be Enormous
“For nearly 10 years, my grandparents have been giving my brother and me the same set of three vise grips. Together, we’ve accumulated 60 of them. I have no idea if they bought them in bulk or where they’re coming from.
‘GET A GRIP, GRANDMA!'”
That Wasn’t Awkward At All For Her!
“When I was 12, my uncle and his new girlfriend, whom I had just met, gave me bras and a book about my ‘changing body.'”
This Doesn’t Count As A Gift
“My own scarf. That’s right, my mother went into my room, took my only scarf, wrapped it up, and gave it back to me as if it were a brand new one.”
Yes, Because Someone’s Birthday Should Be About Someone Else
“Every year for my birthday, my mom would get me a carrot cake. I’ve always hated carrot cake, but since it was my dad’s favorite, she kept getting it.”
What A Treat…
“My Asian mom’s idea of a birthday gift was ‘no extra Kumon homework after school.’ So, my present was simply that I didn’t get more homework from her that day.”
As someone with Asian parents, I can totally relate.
That’s Just Straight-Up Unsanitary
“My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle for my birthday. The horse head was all chipped up and there was already some hair stuck in the brush.”
It’s The Thought That Counts?
“A pair of homemade custom pajamas. The only problem was that they weren’t made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas.”
There’s Clearly A Favorite Child
“For one birthday, I received an invitation to a local restaurant from my dad. It was the same year that he offered to pay for my brother’s trip to Japan.”
I Would Never Speak To My Father Again
“I got a credit card for my 18th birthday and was told not to use it because it wasn’t ‘active yet.’ When I landed my first real corporate job at 22-years-old, the company ran a credit report on me and found out I had a $350,000 line opened.
“Turns out my father had tricked me into signing a co-mortgage and not credit card paperwork when I turned 18. I received debt for my 18th birthday.”
Not Even Invited To Your Own Birthday Party? Yikes
“A friend once threw me a birthday party I wasn’t invited to. I showed up at a local cafe to have a random acquaintance ask me if I was excited about my birthday party that night.
“When I asked what he was talking about, he directed me to a flyer on the bar with the friend’s name, my name, and 4–5 other people’s names being used to celebrate a joint birthday party.”
That Must Have Smelled Horrible
“When I was 8 years old, I was growing sunflowers with my mom one summer. My aunt decided to get me some fertilizer for the flowers for my birthday. The day of, I unwrapped my present and saw what looked like a tub of vanilla ice cream, but when I opened it, there was just literal horse crap.”
Lucky Number 13!
“On my 13th birthday, I got the stomach flu and my first ever period at the same time.”
Her body really decided to hit her with a devastating one-two punch on her birthday of all days.
Had To Test It Out Before Giving It, I Guess
“A very obviously used candle.”
While I don’t recommend giving people gifts that you’ve already used, there are some things you can get away with. A candle isn’t one of them.
This Was A Messy Choice, Grandma
“My very religious grandma once got me a see-through nightgown and became sad when I wouldn’t go try it on in front of MY WHOLE FAMILY.
“We later learned that she’d got matching ones for all the girls in the family and just gave them to us through the year.”
A Birthday Gift From The Dollar Store? Rough
“One year, my husband got me a bag with stuff from the dollar store. Not even stuff I would want: he bought a notebook, a coupon organizer, and a few other things. Maybe $5-worth of junk. We had no money troubles that would prevent him from getting me a present.”
This Guy Did Not Want To Watch This Love Story
“A used DVD of The Notebook after I explicitly told the person that I had no intention of watching it.
“It was my stepmom who gave it to me and it was from her and my dad’s DVD collection that was in our living room. I could have grabbed it at any time to watch.”
Imagine Having The Audacity To Do This
“My own gift that I had previously given to that person.”
I won’t lie: I’ve regifted a few items in my life. However, the cardinal rule about regifting something is that you can never give it back to the person you received it from.
Nothing Like A Pandemic On Your Birthday!
“I got a pandemic for my birthday and was forced to have a socially distanced celebration.”
After buying all the supplies to have a birthday party, the pandemic was officially announced and people were all forced to quarantine alone.
What A Cruel Reveal
“My mom alluded for months that she was getting me a phone for my 12th birthday and then instead she gave me a banana.”
There’s nothing worse than when someone drops hints to get your hopes up only to crush them later.
Just What Every Teenage Boy Wants!
“In high school, I got really into playing guitar. All I had at the time was a beat-up acoustic. When my birthday came around, a fairly large present appeared in my parent’s living room.
“For some reason, I became convinced: it was an amp! My parents must’ve gotten me an electric guitar! They didn’t—it was a blender.”
Sounds Like She Gave Herself A Present…
“My ex-girlfriend had some boudoir photos taken of herself… like sexy lingerie photos, which she put up in her room. Three different pictures put up and she made a whole book them as well.
“She let me see them—that was my present. Pictures of herself. That she kept. And put up in her room.”
Guess He Has To Like Chess Now
“A pencil and a chess T-shirt. I don’t play chess.”
Whoever gave this gift really just decided to pick up the first two items they found in their house, put them in a bag, and call it a day.
Is This Allowed? Is It Legal?
“Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday, but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation!”
Boy, BYE!
“My husband forgot my birthday then, when prompted, went to buy something, and took maybe 10 minutes tops in the store. He bought roses from the grocery store while he was there buying himself cigarettes.
“He came home with a DVD box set he’d been dying to watch, and the new CD from a band I’d not only lost interest in but had been saying I’d lost interest in for ages. Then he spent the rest of the day celebrating the birthday of his online friend while I was working from home. They’re married now.”
