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Ahhhh, the class clown. The guy or gal who has an unspoken duty in school to make the rest of us laugh on a daily basis to help us forget how much we hate school.
These stories from AskReddit users will make you laugh and fondly remember your own class clown. Or perhaps it was you!
1. Foghorn
Our class clown had the two wonderful abilities of being able to play the baritone sax and circular breathe. School talent show. He enters. What does he do? Blows a super long low A note for ten minutes straight without stopping. Like one, long low, note. Like a foghorn. And he made everyone sit there, while he blew this long, loud shaking note. That was a fun talent show.
2. Stuck
Superglued his head to the desk
3. Teach
Our class clown wasn’t a student, rather the teacher.
Our teacher for units 3&4 Physics (VCE in Victoria, Australia) was a well known larrikin. Found every excuse he could to teach us with experiments involving liquid nitrogen, sodium, and other such dangerous things. The school had actually banned him from using potassium in this “experiments” because he had set a room on fire by accident. All the danger aside, he was the most engaging teacher I have ever had and I learnt so much from him.
Towards the end of my graduating year, my whole class (about 10 people) were all 18 years old, and so we would go to the local pub for lunch every Friday for a counter meal and a drink. We happened to have a double period of Physics after lunch and accidentally stayed past the start of class. Fifteen minutes into the period, and the most responsible girl in our class gets a call from our teacher.
“Were are you guys? Class started 15 minutes ago”
“Sorry, teachers name, we went to the pub for lunch and lost track of time”
“Are you all there? Do any of you have a text book?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Give me five minutes”Sure enough, 5 minutes later, He turns up and proceeds to run us through our lesson, in the pub, with the caveat that it was not to happen again. As far as I know, He somehow retroactively passed it off as some sort of last minute excursion and because we were all legally adults, we didn’t need to get our parents permission.
Truly a madman.
4. A whole garbage bag?
A dude in my math class brought in a garbage bag full of donuts once. Like, 20 minutes after the class started he just breezes in with this magical bag of pastries.
5. Legends of Clowns Past
Not in my time, but legends in my school:
We had a weird old building that was added to a half dozen times. Outside of the third floor windows there’s a narrow ledge of the 2nd floor roof a couple of feet down, but you can’t really see it unless you stick your head out and look straight down.
One day the class had a sub. Since it was May the school windows were wide open (no screens either since these were ancient windows and school isn’t in session during summer bug season.) In the middle of class, a student gets up, yells that he’s “sick of life”, and jumps out of the window… (The student then walked over to a window in the adjoining hall and climbed back inside)
Another time during typing the students knew the typewriters were getting replaced at the end of the year. So when they had a sub with a couple of days left in the semester, a student just randomly stood up and say’s he’s sick of typing and throws the typewriter out the window.
And finally there was a teacher that without exception would come in five minutes late, then would stomp on the papers in the wastebasket. One day the students quickly emptied it, ran down to the restroom and filled it with water, and then floated some crumpled papers on top.
During my time four of my classmates including the class clown “borrow” a car from a friend of one of their mothers, then head to Reno over MEA weekend (a four day weekend for a teachers convention in my state). they get as far as western Wyoming before being pulled over for speeding. The friend didn’t press charges but they spent the weekend in jail until the parent of one of them could fly out there and get them. If this sounds mild, consider this was a private, conservative school. The school suspends them for a day and then they’re back in class on Tuesday.
6. I like this one
Jumped out of a 3rd floor window to go get a better view of a fight happening in the parking lot. This was the end of June so everyone was getting a little insane by that point. He was always nuts though. Now he’s a father with like 3 or 4 children, unreal.
7. Just like Jeff Spicoli
Pretty sure it’s not the wildest thing he did, but the best thing he did was ask to be dismissed in the middle of class, then came back 10 mins later with a full pizza meal combo (including an order of garlic bread bites for me). He then proceeded to turn to the unbemused teacher and stated “I found this in the bathroom”.
8. Bang!
He duct taped a condom over the assistant commandant’s exhaust pipe. He started driving away, it inflated to the size of a beach ball and sounded like a shotgun when it finally popped.
9. Now that’s commitment
Crapped their pants on purpose when the teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom until break time.
10. Savage
A kid was bragging to the teacher that he had a girlfriend (this conversation was in front of a class of 30). He was talking tough like he was the greatest player in the world. Calling himself a true master of the ladies.
The teacher asked him “where did you guys meet?”
Then out of nowhere, the class clown shouts: “page four of male escorts on Craigslist.”
Still the most savage remark I’ve ever heard. Kids were falling out of their chairs from laughter. The kid looked like his soul was ripped out.
11. Okay…
Hid live chickens in lockers.
12. Public execution
He got expelled for holding a public hanging of a teddy bear in the 1st grade classroom. He even brought rope for the noose. The 1st grade was not amused.
13. Good on so many levels
He recited the “friends, Romans, countrymen” monologue for class but dressed up in a suit and delivered it like a southern Baptist preacher. The funniest part was that he was Jewish
14. …Ouch
Came to school during school spirit week( a week where we had a more relaxed dress code if it had to do with school spirit) wearing nothing but boxers and duct tape in the schools colors.
15. Quiet time
High school chemistry. the troublemaker kid has been assigned the only seat by the window.
Chemistry teacher is going on and writing on the black board when the kid opens the window, makes a snowball, and zings it right past her head to hit the black board a few inches from her. She turns around and says “who threw that? who did it? I’m not teaching anymore until someone fesses up”
The window was still open, and he was the only person seated anywhere near it.
We had quiet time the rest of the day.
16. Disgusting AF
After class, he went to the bathroom and took a huge dump into his beanie.
Afterwards, he hung up the beanie in the wardrobe in front of the classroom, so the turd could hang there all night.
The next day, nobody wasn’t allowed to enter the building, due to an ‘unexplainable’ smell. The principle walked around the building to find the source of the smell. He came closer to the beanie, smelled on it, took it of and looked inside of it – he went home for the rest of the day afterwards.
17. “What a legend”
Dude went streaking from the far east side of the school, past the office, through the cafeteria, out the west doors.
He had a toque over his junk at first but that fell off at some point.
He came out the west doors with his junk in his hand screaming “I CAN’T BELIEVE I MADE IT THIS FAR!!”, jumped into his friend’s getaway jeep and rode off.Fucking beautiful. What a legend, man.
Teachers used to just walk away when he started acting up, I can vividly recall each teachers “I am not dealing with this shit today” expression every time they interacted with him. 🙂
I miss him
18. Never heard this one before
I knew a guy who brought a prostitute to prom. It was pretty damn funny when I heard about it, but he was a couple years older.
19. That’s horrifying
Drank some milk, turned his eyelids inside out, squirted milk out of his tear ducts.
Still to this day the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in person.
20. TP
In high school our class clown wrapped the principles car completely in toliet paper.
21. Flock of seagulls
Our class was on the ground floor and the window faced our soccer field, and on that rainy day we saw a huge flock of seagulls just hanging out on the grass.
My friend raises her hand and asks to go to the washroom.About a minute later, she’s outside running through the flock of seagulls waving her hands and yelling.
She came back inside a little winded and damp from the rain. We had a hard time not falling on the floor laughing.
22. In hiding
Hid inside a cabinet and made random noises when the teacher was teaching and the teacher was getting mad thinking it was this other kid and was about to write him a referral and wouldn’t believe him when he said it wasn’t him and it some kid in the cabinet.
23. CHAOS
As a senior prank, he left a morning class to “use the bathroom”; instead, he went out to the parking lot where his older brother (who had already graduated) was parked with a moving van. They re-entered, bringing with them several cages containing at least 30 live squirrels, which they proceeded to set loose all over inside the school, as well as HUNDREDS of golf balls. When the bell rang and that period ended, it was fucking CHAOS in the hallways.
24. A good one to end with
I was a student teacher in a middle school and had to monitor a study hall during the last period of the day. The kids sat at tables in the lunch room, so the place was pretty disgusting and most of the students were antsy because they just wanted to go home. One day a group of 6 guys all had their hands up so I went over to see what they wanted.
They told me there was something wrong with Brian — the class clown. I asked him if he was all right, but he just sat staring into space. I asked him again, and he opened his mouth but instead of answering, ten flies came out and wandered all over his face. He had pulled their wings off and then put them in his mouth.
